Zero Tolerance
by Resluver1912
Summary: Lovino lives a perfect life. Or atleast thats how he is suppose to appear. Antonio lives a life as a dangerous gangbanger. North Side meets South Side as these two are partnered in their Chemistry class. But there is one chemical reaction these 2 arent prepared for- Love. AU, human names used. Based on the book "Perfect Chemistry" by Simone Elkeles.
1. Rules of Attraction

Lovino looked at himself in the mirror as he combed his hair, giving an irritated groan as **a** strand of hair seemed to insist on falling into a curl at the side of his head**, **seeming to defy all laws of physics as it stood up all by itself. He looked at the clock and saw that he was running late. Cursing, he put the brush down and went into the hallway to go into his brother's room across from his. He pounded on the door but there was no response; he was probably still asleep, the lazy idiot. After waiting for a moment he just went in and groaned as he saw his brother still in bed**,** just as he expected. Doesn't he own a fucking clock? Lovino really didn't have the time for this shit.

"Dammit Feliciano, get the hell up. We're going to be late." He all but shouted. Immediately, Feliciano shot up and screamed.

"No, I'm sorry I didn't mean to! Please don't hurt me, I'm just a fragile boy and I-"

"Will you just shut the fuck up already!" Lovino cut his brother off. It took Feliciano a moment to register his surroundings, but then he smiled happily, shaking off his dream-world and entering the real one.

"Oh, good morning fratello~" He chirped as Lovino restrained himself from smacking the oblivious boy.

"Feli! You have to get your ass in gear and get ready! Class starts at 7:30!" He yelled desperately, tapping his foot**,** impatient. Feliciano looked at him questionably as though not understanding, but then his eyes widened and smiled even brighter than before.

"Oh right! It's the first day of school, right?" He asked happily.

"Yes,that's why you need to get your ass out of bed, _now_." He emphasized the last part, shoving his brother off the bed. Feliciano giggled as he fell and got back up quickly putting his clothes on, wearing baggy clothes. Lovino looked at him, disgusted at his brother's choice of clothing. Really, he chose to wear _Bluefly_?Didn't he have _any_ self-respect?

"What the hell do you think you'rewearing?" Feliciano looked at him curiously, looking down at himself worriedly.

"Clothes Grandpa Roma bought me..." He said softly

"I see that, it's from last school year, you are _not___wearing that! You'll make us look bad!" He yelled as he went to his brother's closet to find something decent to wear. Hm, maybe that purple shirt…no, purple would clash with Feliciano's hair, maybe the yellow tank top? Lovino continued pulling clothes out and Feliciano tried to stop him.

"But, Lovino..."

"_No 'buts'_! Grandpa Roma would have a fit if he saw you wearing that!" He continued rummaging through the clothes.

After about 10 minutes of shouting, mainly coming from Lovino, they were both properly dressed and ready to leave. Once they were down the stairs, Lovino ran to the kitchen to grab his car keys. But, as luck would have it, he was stopped by his grandfather, just before he walked out the door.

"G'morning Lovino…" His grandfather said tiredly**,** swiping a hand down the side of his face in hopes to rub out all the sleep. Lovino scoffed; a lot of good that did his grandpa.

"Morning..." He said,warily.

"I hope you don't plan on wearing that to school Lovino..." Lovino could tell it was an order, and not a mere observation, as his Grandpa read thepaper and mindlessly stirred his coffee. Lovino stiffened.

"Um..I was..." _Ohshitohshitohshitohshit!_

"Lovino..." Roma sighed. Great, now he was _definitely_ going to be late.

"How many times have I told you about those white shoes? They don't go with black jeans. They match your denim ones better." He rubbed his temple, clearly aggravated.

"Sorry grandpa...I'll go change them..." He said quietly, his hands fidgeting.

"Oh and Lovino...why don't you wear that black fedora I bought you last week? It would go well with your red shirt." He said with a tired smile. Lovino simply nodded and went to change his shoes and grabbed the fedora. He jogged downstairs and stopped at the mirror triple checking himself. He wore the fedora his grandfather requested, which went really well with his red dress shirt and black vest with the sleeves rolled up. Other than the annoying curl that still stayed suspended in the air, he looked perfect.

'_The way I'm supposed to be...'_He thought, a grim smile placing itself upon his face.

He walked outside and down the driveway, toward his BMW. He unlocked the door and he got in**,** Feliciano in the passenger seat. As soon as he is in, Feliciano handed him a muffin. He takes it and bites at it absently, backing out and beginning to drive down the street. He hums, the taste of blueberry on his tongue- ugh. The outside looked wonderful, but the inside was all mushed up.

_Just like my life..._

–

"Oi, Antonio!"

Antonio scowled as his name was called for probably the 30th time that morning. He buried his face into his pillow**,** groaning; he hadn't gotten near enough sleep last night to deal with this…

"Leave me alone, madre." He said roughly through the pillow. (1)"No estes chingando"

He felt a hard smack on his head and he moaned.

"I'm not fuckin' with you. Get up and get ready for school." **S**he left the room directly after, mumbling, and slammed the door. Antonio soon went back to sleep, but only briefly. He soon felt ice cold water on him and he shot up, shivering and dripping wet.

(1)"Culero!" He shouted. His mother is standing there with an empty pitcher in her hands, and a smirk on her face. Antonio got up and ran his fingers through his brown, curly hair, gathering the liquid that resided in it and flicked it at her. It got onto her uniform and she mocked hurt.

"Oh, Antonio, after all I've done for you..." She placed her hand on her uniformed chest dramatically. Antonio laughed and began putting his clothes on.

"Yea, Ma. A little water is _so_ awful! That's why you poured it on your only son." He chuckled as he put his jeans on and shirt. His mother laughed and headed out the room.

"You best hurry and get your Spanish ass out here and eat your breakfast! You need to be ready for your senior year!" She called out to him from the kitchen. Antonio sighed and put on his leather jacket with the Spanish flag on the sleeve. He grabbed his red bandana and took a deep breath before putting it on his head. He walked into the kitchen and sat down to eat his cereal. Noticing the bandana, his mother sighed and continued making her coffee. He paused in his eating and got up, grabbing his back pack.

"I'm going now, Mama." He called out behind him. She watched him leave, concern evident in her eyes.

"Antonio!" She called after him. He stopped by the door and stood there.

"Yes..?" He sighed. She got up and hugged him tightly.

"Ten cuidado, hijo mío.." She whispered. Antonio hugged her back, smiling bemusedly.

"Si, Mama..." He let her go and went outside onto his motorcycle. As he went out, he saw some people who knew what he was. They were all part of the same group, throwing up their gang signs.

_The Latino Bloods..._

He flashed the same sign to them and groaned inwardly. He was one of the most feared, but best, guys of the gang. Despite being Spanish and not Mexican, he had proven himself more than worthy of being in the gang. Not that he had much of a choice though.

For the sake of protecting his mother, he did what he had to.

As he revved up his motorcycle, a girl with long**,** flowing brown hair came up to him.

"Hey Antonio." Said Rosa, Antonio's neighbor and ex-girlfriend.

"Hey Rosa." He said dryly. She gave him her best seductive smile but it no longer had an effect on him. He used to be madly in love with her, until she had proven to be nothing but a plaything for the boys in the Blood.

"Ya think you can give me a ride?" She asked, placing her hand on his arm softly. He grunted in agreement and she hops on the motorcycle and deliberately places her hands on his thighs while pressing against his back. He ignored it and started to the school, trying to focus on starting senior year, which was difficult, seeing as how his future after graduation will be just as fucked up as his past.

–

**(1)"Don't fuck with me." or something similar to that.**

"**Be careful, my son."**


	2. Chain Reaction

**A/N: What? Two updates in one day? What is this madness? XD oh Spain...how he inspires me so... W i'm listening to La Pasion No Se Detiene on repeat -w-.**

**So if you didnt already know, i'm basing this story on the book "Perfect Chemistry" By Simone Elkeles. Excellent book :D but I'm adding my own twist to it to fit the characters better.**

–

"Fucking..shit..." Lovino grumbled as he saw his hair getting all frizzly weird as they drove to Fairfield High. Feliciano looked at him curiously.

"Fratello, what is the matter?" He asked.

"My fucking hair is getting weird, even though I'm wearing a hat. Shit we're going to be late." He yelled when he saw the time.

"Lovi~ you shouldn't worry about your appearance so much!" Feliciano said happily.

"Look at me, I never care to much about it but everyone still loves me~ it can be the same for you~" he said looking out the window happily. Lovino's grip on wheel tightened and he hissed in anger.

"That's easy for you to say Feliciano! Everyone loves you!" he yelled. Feliciano quickly looked at him with a sad expression.

"What do you mean, Fratello?" The younger asked. Lovino mentally kicked himself for letting that slip and tried to remain focused on the road.

"Fratello...?" Feliciano asked again. Lovino ignored him. Or at least tried to. Lovino sped up as they neared the school, in hopes of getting there on time. Unfortunately, his brother continued calling his name and pulling on his arm as he pulled to the parking lot.

"Fratello, come on tell me...Fratello..." Feliciano whined.

"Why don't you just shut the fuck up Feliciano! I am not telling you so forget I ever said anything, OK? Dammit!" he shouted eyes focusing back to the road. Feliciano stared at him for a moment and then smiled.

"Ah, I see!" he piped. Lovino glared at him, turning red.

"See what?" he barked.

"Your nervous about Femke, right?" he clapped. It took Lovino a moment to realize who he was talking about. He looked at the picture taped to his dashboard of him and Belgian girlfriend of 3 years, Femke. He sighed and calmed down a bit.

"Yea...i guess I am...we haven't seen each other all summer..." he muttered. "A summer apart changes people..." Feliciano rubbed his brother's back and ve'd.

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder, remember that Fratello~" He said with a faraway look in his eyes. She had called him a few times from her families summer home back in Belgium but he wasn't sure where their relationship stood now. She just got back the night before.

"I love your fedora, fratello. May I borrow it one day?" Feliciano asked eyeing the hat closely. Lovino was silent for a moment.

"Sure, Feli.." he finally said,

"Ohh grazie, fratello~" he went into an empty parking space. Or atleast, what he though was empty. His tires screeched to a stop as he almost hit a guy and girl on a motorcycle. The girl looked up at him and glared.

"Watch where the fuck your going, asshole!" she yelled.

_Oh Hell no..._

Lovino poked his head out of the window with a scowl on his face.

"Shut the fuck up damn bitch!" he shouted.

That was when the guy went to look at him with a death glare. His green eyes piercing Lovino's amber eyes. Suddenly, Feliciano began to freak out and brought out his white flag and began flapping it like crazy. Lovino looked at him in disbelief.

"What the hell are you waving that for?"

"Oh no no no, Fratello! DO you know who that is?" he asked on the verge of tears, continuing to wave the flag frantically.

"No, who the fuck is he?" Lovino asked growing more and more annoyed.

"That's Antonio Carriedo! He is apart of the Latino Blood!" he cried. Lovino stiffened and slowly looked to where said man was. He was making his way to the car, and Lovino felt frightened, not that he would show it of course. He looked for reverse, frantically moving the stick back and forth. His grandfather has bought him the vehicle without giving much time to teach him how to work it. He looked to Feliciano who was still waving his little white flag. Lovino gave him a odd look and had to ask.

"What the hell are you doing? Help me!" he hissed.

"I learned that if you wave a white flag, it means you surrender and then no one can hurt you!" he cried still waving the flag. "I don't know how to drive yet either!" Lovino cursed but finally brought the car in reverse, the car screeching loud and hard as he maneuver backward and search for another parking spot.

After parking on the west side of the school, far away from a certain gang member with a reputation of scaring off even some of the toughest security at the school, Lovino and Feliciano walked up the steps to the school. Unfortunately, Antonio was standing there hanging with his gang friends by the front doors.

"Just walk by them and don't make eye contact." Lovino whispered to his brother who was about to pull out the white flag again. He immidiatly regrets his words as Antonio steps in front of him and blocks his path. _Shit, what was that one thing you were suppose to pray before death? Fuck..._

"Your a lousy driver." Antonio said with his Spanish accent, standing in a way that just screamed he was the boss.

North siders and south siders never mixed. Merely because one side was wealthier than than the other and different viewpoints. Same town, but opposite sides. People like Antonio, hate people like Lovino for who he is. Thats the way it is.

Or rather, who they _think_ he is.

"Next time, watch where your going." Antonio said, his voice cool and controlled. Lovino sneered.

"Whatever, bastardo." he rolled his and grabbed his brothers arm and went around the spaniard. He couldn't help but hear their dark chuckles and insults they said as they left.

"Oh my god Fratello!" Feliciano hugged his brother.

"Get off me, you clingy bastard!" he groaned. Feliciano ve'd sadly and followed Lovino to the lockers.

"Dammit, I can't believe that bastard thinks he can bully me or you like that.." he slammed open his locker as did Feliciano.

"I'll see to it he is buried 6 feet under..." he muttered.

"Who died?" a feminine voice from behind asked. Lovino turned around to find his girlfriend looking up at him with a beautiful smile on her face. Her blonde hair bleached from the sun. She had also developed a bit of a tan over the summer. Lovino smiled and hugged her tightly, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. She pulls back and asks again.

"Who died?"

"No one. Forget about it." he muttered, a smile still on his face as he held her closer. "Forget about everything except about being with me." he said kissing her again.

"Its easy when you look so hot." she said playfully. Lovino had almost forgot about his brother but saw that he had been preoccupied with talking to his German friend that seemed to have come from nowhere.

"Sorry I haven't called, we have been so busy unpacking and everything." she brought him back from his thoughts. He smiles and drapes his arm around her shoulders as the doors to the front of the school open. Antonio and his friends bust through as though they were about to hijack the school.

"God, why do they even come here? They're bound to drop out by the end of the year." she glared.

"I almost his Antonio with my car." Lovino admitted.

"you should have." she said bluntly. Lovino's gaze met Antonio's briefly and shivers run up his spine.

This year will be anything but boring.

–

He should have known the moment he walked into the school that he would be called into the principal's office on the first day. Someone obviously claimed him to be the ring leader for he's in here and not another member of Latino blood. He just kept talking about the changes he put into the school to ensure things will run smoothly. Of course Antonio wasn't listening though, he noticed the man before him was trying to feel him out, see how he would react with his threats. But he was just a small, British man with huge eyebrows, so huge Antonio had a hard time keeping himself from laughing. But he managed to keep a straight face the entire time.

"...and this year I have hired two full-time armed security guards. Antonio." his eyes are fixed on him, scowling. He was trying to intimidate him when in reality, Antonio has seen more intimidating looks on the Italian that almost hit him that morning.

"I have even told the board that I would be personally responsible for rooting out the violence that has plagued this school for years. I will not hesitate to suspend anyone who ignores school rules." The small Brit stood up, glaring at Antonio. He was barely in the school and already this guy is talking suspension. Maybe he had heard of his 3 day suspension last year, which wasn't his fault...entirely. Instead of listening to him any further, he interrupted the angry, British principal's little rant.

"I won't start any fights." though he may finish one.

"Thats just grand, but I hear you were harrassing two boys in the parking lot this morning. Of course he heard, fucking Italians. Antonio simply put his best you-can't-resist-me smile.

"I was just having a little fun, is all." he said smugly.

"Yes well, have more 'fun' and you'll be suspended." the brit said finally dismissing the Spaniard. He got up and left the room, looking at his schedule and saw his next subject.

Chemistry with Mr. Honda.

_Great, another hard ass._ He thought grudgingly.


	3. Perfect Chemistry

** A/N: ANOTHER UPDATE? WHAAAAAAT? yes :D Spain continues to inspire me with the beauty of his character song and seeing the reviews/author alerts/fav stories made me want to crank out the 3rd chapter already ^w^ you guys are awesome! Now I know I made Spain OOC but thats to fit the bad boy gangbanger thing...dont worry! He'll go back to his cheerful self soon W.**

–

Lovino turned on his cellphone to keep tabs on is brother in case he texted him for an emergency. What? Despite Feliciano's slight popularity, he was still prone to being bullied by others. And after the situation that morning, he wouldn't doubt it if the gang member known as Antonio Carriedo would try to pull something. He sent his brother a text before entering the class.

From: Lovino

Hey Feliciano, I'm about to go in Chemistry. You know if something happens in your class, text me. ASAP. Got it, stupido?

He got an almost immediate response.

From: Feliciano

Oh ok Fratello, No worries. I have Ludwig with me to protect me :D

He furrowed his eyebrows and responded

From: Lovino

Who the fuck is Ludwig?

From: Feliciano

OH I have to go now Lovi. Ludwig is threatening to take my phone and give it to the teacher... ttyl w;

And with that he stopped texting. Groaning, Lovino put his phone in his pocket and walked into the class. Femke sat in a seat and waved to him.

"Babe, I saved you a spot." she smiled. Lovino went over to her and gave her a peck on the cheek. The tables are in rows and they are fit for two, so that means Lovino will have Femke as his partner. He smiles at this, wanting nothing more than to be with her after a summer of absence.

"Hey, Carriedo is in our class!" shouted an odd albino in the back. Another guy looked and whistled.

"Antonio! Ven pa`ca." he said. It was odd. All of them were latino except for the albino. What was he doing hanging out with a bunch of gang members? Lovino couldn't help but wonder. But then it hit him. He was actually having a class with Antonio.

Antonio.

Antonio Carriedo.

The gang member that can kill anyone without a second thought.

The guy who deals drugs for a living.

The guy he almost ran over that same morning...

Lovino suddenly felt sick and avoided gazing at Spaniard as he went to his group of friends and patted each other on the backs. Femke took notice put her hand on his shoulder softly.

"Is everything alright, Lovi?" she asked, concern evident in her eyes. Lovino shut his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He would be fine. As long as he kept his distance, he would be just fine. Just fine.

Mr. Honda came in closing the door quietly. He had short black hair with a fringe that went just above his eyes and the sides hugging his small, Asian face. His eyes seemed to be hollow, emotionless. He looked to the class and cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the class. He may seem soft, but there were rumors going around that he runs his class the way teachers used to teach in the feudal era of Japan, and that wasn't a very pleasant way for Westerners.

"Hello, its a pleasure to meet all of you." he said flatly.

"I see you have chosen your seat. Unfortunately, I have already picked out your seats for the remainder of the year." he said pulling out a piece of paper from a manilla folder. Everyone groaned in protest but he wasn't having any of it. He held up his hand to silence them and began calling names to each table. "Femke Peeters and Francis Bonnefoy." Francis was someone who was close friends with Feliciano so in a way, he was also close to Lovino. He looked at Femke as she groaned and kissed him on the cheek as she left. Francis gave her a wink and she rolled her eyes. Mr. Honda continued going row by row assigning partners.

"Lovino Vargas and Antonio Fernandez Carriedo." Lovino froze and quickly looked at the Spaniard, who had a devilish grin on his face.

"Fuck...My...Life.." he groaned.

–

Antonio couldn't help but laugh at the helpless look on Lovino's face when Mr. Honda assigned them together. He left his friends, fist bumping Gilbert first, and strut to his assigned seat where little Lovino stared into his desk as though searching for his answers there. He sat down and looked at the Italian and put his hand under his chin, looking at him with mock admiration.

"Hi, my name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, but all my friends call me Toni. Whats your name friend?" He asked making his voice going a few octaves higher. Lovino groaned and balled up his fists. Antonio couldn't help but smirk. Boy this was going to be fun.

"Mr. Fernandez." The teacher called. Antonio looked up.

"Take off that bandana. I have a zero tolerance policy in my class. No gang-related accessories are allowed to enter this room. Unfortunately, _Toni_, your reputation precedes you. Mr. Kirkland backs my zero tolerance policy one hundred percent...do I make myself clear?"

Antonio stares at him as he slowly takes off the bandana and stuffs it in his back pocket. Exposing his brown curls that fell around his head.

"Its to cover up lice." Femke whispers to Francis, but he hears her, and so did Lovino.

"Vete a la verga." Antonio says to Femke, his green eyes darkening.

"Whatever." she says rolling her eyes and going back to Francis. "He can't even speak English" she laughed.

"Thats enough, Femke. Antonio sit down." Mr. Honda eyes the rest of the class. "that goes for the rest of you, as well. I can't control what you do outside of my class, but inside this room, I'm the boss." Antonio's hand shoots up. "What is it Toni?"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Mr. H but I'm the boss." he smirked. Lovino slammed his hand against his head and groaned. Mr. Honda stared at him and continued, choosing to ignore the Spaniards remark. Antonio chuckled as he smirked. He looked at the Italian next to him who was obviously avoiding his gaze.

Mr. Honda finishes assigning seats. "I know all of you may think you know everything, being it your fourth year. But never think of yourself as a success until you have cured a disease or helped mankind from a plague of a sort." He said standing in front of the class, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "The field of chemistry plays a crucial role in developing medicines, radiation treatments-"

"I'm sure he knows more than enough about needing to treated from radiation..." someone in the back, that frenchman, whispered loudly. Mr. Honda stopped speaking and sighed.

"Would you like to share something, Mr. Bonnefoy?" He asked steadily. Femke quickly looked at him in disbelief but Francis smirked.

"Oh nothing Mr. Honda. Its just its no wonder your teaching Chemistry and not math. You obviously know so much of the subject from having to nurse your dying family from the bomb the damn Americans dropped on you." he said amused by his own joke. Antonio was about to stand up and say something when Lovino beat him to it.

"Hey why don't you just shut the fuck up, Francis! That's completely uncalled for!" he shouted. Francis shrugged.

"Oh Lovi, why are you so mad? It has nothing to do with you, so you shouldn't get mad about it."

"Don't call me Lovi!"

"Lovino, you should try to be more like your brother. He doesn't stick his nose into others business." he said smugly.

"Ch-Chigii! Why you damn-"

Mr. Honda quickly slammed a bunch of books on the desk which caused a loud thump causing the two to turn their attention to him.

"Mr. Vargas, as much as I appreciate you standing in my defense, it is not needed. And Mr. Bonnefoy, I will talk to you after school, in detention." he said and left it that. He sat down and crossed his arms with a huff. His curl bobbed with his movements that was quite amusing to Antonio. He soon found himself staring at it as Mr. Honda continued speaking. Lovino quickly noticed and him staring and turned red.

"What the fuck are you looking at, bastardo?" he muttered.

"Thats a really weird lookin curl you got there." Antonio said smirking. Lovino's eyes widened and he turned more red.

"Why you fucking.."

"So as a first assignment." Mr. Honda said loudly so everyone heard him. "You will get to know your partner. You will find out their likes, dislikes, and what they did over the summer. And anything interesting about them, then you will present it to the class. Now look at your partner."

Antonio looked at him, amused by the internal struggle the Italian was going through. He noticed him glancing at his girlfriend who happened to be in deep conversation with Francis. He also took noticed the quick flash of jealousy on his face when he noticed she was leaning a little to closely to the Frenchmen but it passed.

"you don't have to like your partner." Mr. Honda said. "But your stuck together for 10 months. So get used to it. You have 5 minutes to talk, starting...now." he said setting his watch. He grabbed his notebook and saw Lovino doing the same thing and then his was shoved at him.

"Why don't you just write down stuff about yourself in my notebook and I'll do the same to yours." Antonio nods but the corner of his mouth twitches as he hands Lovino his notebook. They write until Mr. Honda instructs them to stop and listen to each others introductions.

"This is Francis Bonnefoy." Femke begins, being the first to speak. But Antonio wasn't listening. Instead, he watched Lovino's shocked look as he read what Antonio wrote on his notebook. His mouth wide open.

–

**PFFFFT WELL HERE YA GO XD. Reviews and all that jazz are always welcomed :) (if your lucky, you may get a 4****th**** chapter tonight XD)**


	4. Don't play with fire

** HAHAHAHAHA A 4TH CHAPTER? WHAT HAS COME OVER ME? XD OH SPAIN. WHY MUST YOU SPEAK MY LANGUAGE AND MAKE IT SEXY? XD and its thanks to the reviews n stuff (specifically you Stardust98! Been reviewing all these chapters :D your awesome!) So heres the next chapter~**

**Warning: slight sexual content. (barely)**

–

Lovino sat awe struck as he read the words Antonio had scribble on his notebook. He couldn't wrap his head around how this gang member...can write this to HIM. Even if it was a joke. He stared at the handwriting, feeling himself blush.

Saturday night. You and me. Driving lessons and hot sex...

_What. The actual. Fuck. Why the hell..._ Romano still couldn't even begin to imagine why on earth this...guy...would write this someone like him.

"... ." Mr. Honda had been calling his name for the 3rd time. Lovino cleared his throat and stood up. He looked over to Antonio's smug look as he sat there waiting to hear what he has to say. He looked back up and furrowed his eyes.

"This is Antonio Carriedo. When he wasn't busy going around harrassing pedestrians in parking lots, he was touring jails around the jail. And he has a secret desire no one would ever guess..." he paused for dramatic effect. Everyone, including Antonio, payed attention to what he had to say. "His secret desire, is to become a singer." he smirked at the dumbfounded look on his face. The other students began to whisper to each. Antonio glowered but stood up.

"This is Lovino Vargas. He spent the majority of his summer baby-sitting his coward of a brother and shopping with his girlfriend and paying for her..ahem...assets." he paused and looked down at the italian. Lovino glared at him but he continued. "When he's not doing either, he can be found in the girls section for his wardrobe. His secret desire is to be swept off by his feet by a knight in shining armor who would bid to his every need." he laughed slightly. Lovino was fuming at this point and Femke was about to smack the Spaniard. Everyone began whispering all sorts of things about things said about Lovino, which made him turn red with anger and embarassment.

Mr. Honda didn't look at all please by this and he took off his glasses, rubbing his temple.

"Mr. Vargas. Mr. Carriedo. See me after class." he said simply before trying to quiet down the class.

–

"Not only were your introductions appalling, they were also disrespectful to me and the rest of the class." Mr. Honda said in a strangely calm way. He held out to things, a piece of paper and a detention slip. "You can either take a detention, or write a 500 word essay on "Respect" to hand in tomorrow. Which is it?" Lovino grabbed the sheet of paper while Antonio grabbed the detention slip. They glared at each other.

"Do either of you have a problem with the way I assign partners?" he asked.

Lovino says "yes" at the same time Antonios says "No".

Mr. Honda sets his glasses down on the desk and looks at them. "You to need to set aside your differences and work together for the remainder of the year. Unless you want to attend summer school for flunking my class, I suggest you start now. Go hurry to your next class" he dismissed them.

With that they left the room, Lovino noticed Antonio was following him.

"Stop following me, bastard!" he shouted. Looking around to see how many people saw them walking together. Antonio caught up and walked past him.

"Wear long sleeves saturday, it gets cold on my motorcycle." he whispered huskily. Lovino grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back and glared at him.

"Listen, Antonio, I don't date GUYS. I'm straight, as you can see I have a girlfriend." His eyes on fire. Antonio stepped closer to him.

"I don't date guys either, Lovi~" he mocked. "I'm confident in my sexuality to joke around like that, unlike some people apparently." he laughed as Lovino turned even redder than normal."Don't get like that Lovi~ you like a tomatoe~" he whispered into his ear as he walked away, leaving Lovino to fume. He looked back and called out to him.

"I look forward to researching _our_ chemistry, mi tomate~" then left.

Lovino gained his composure and stormed to his next class. Glad that his brother would atleast be there with him.

–

Ok so maybe he shouldn't of fucked with the Italian like that but he just made it so easy for the Spaniard to play with him like that. But he couldn't help but think about the little Italian. It was odd but it made his heart flutter slightly when he thought of him. Quickly shaking head he left the school.

_\What the hell...? Why am I feeling that...i haven't felt something like that since..._

Antonio's attention went to a black car that rode up next to him and the tinted windows rolled down revealing a dark man in a suit. Antonio stopped where he was looked at the man and just got into the car. He was given his next job.

He shoved the guy against the shiny black, camaro, that probably cost more than what his mom makes a year.

"Here's the deal Feliks, you either pay up now, or I break something of yours. Not furniture, or your fuckin' car...somethin' that your permanently attached to. Get it?" He said. Feliks, shoulder length blonde hair and scrawny, paled and shook in fear. Antonio didn't give any sympathy. When he was sent to collect, he damn well collects. Even if he doesn't like it. He never deals drugs, but he sure as hell collects. Debts mainly. Feliks had better feel lucky it was Antonio that was assigned to find him and not someone worse. To say Antonio didn't live a squeaky clean like would be an understatement, but he tries not to dwell on it. He never uses the money, he just collects the money and hands to the head honchos. It made him a pawn but he didn't care, as long as his mom was safe thats all that mattered to him. He truly meant no harm. This was all purely business.

"I like, don't have the money." he stuttered.

"That answer ain't gunna cut it, man." said Gilbert from the car. He wasn't actually in the gang, but as Antonio's best friend, he stuck with him, even if it was driving him around to collect. Feliks shook more.

"So which limb do you want me to break first?" Antonio asks. "I'll be nice and let you choose."

"Just smoke his ass already and get this over with!" Gilbert said bored.

"No! I'll like, have the money tomorrow!" Feliks pleaded.

"You expect me to take your word for it? I need collateral!" he said. Eying the car.

"No...not my car..." Feliks was close to tears. Antonio pulled out his gun. He wouldn't use it. No, never. No matter what he would never kill anyone. But Feliks doesn't need to know that. At the first sight of his glock, he hands his keys over.

"O-Oh God please..." tears poured from his eyes.

He hands the keys to Gilbert. "Its yours, until tomorrow." he said.

"Do you really think he'll come up with the money by tomorrow?" Gilbert asked once Feliks was out of their sight.

"Yea. Cuz this car is worth much more than what he owes." Antonio replied.

Gilbert waits for him outside the warehouse as he gives a report to the boss. Later that night, he can't sleep due to his mind constantly on the little Italian known as Lovino. For the life of him he can't quite figure out why he keeps thinking about the boy that hates him and that he hates right back. He groaned and flopped onto his stomach, still thinking.

_This is going to be one hell of a night..._

–

Lovino sighed wearily as he combed his fingers through his hair as he spoke on the phone with his girlfriend. "Si, Femke I know, I know." his voice softer than normal.

"I don't trust that mexican bastard, Lovi!" she complained.

"You think I trust him any more than you do? I have to be PARTNERS with him!" he groaned. "And he's not Mexican. He's Spanish." wait, why did he even care?

"I don't really give a fuck what he is! I oughta teach him a lesson!" she fumed.

"Mi Amore, I can take care of him myself. Ok? Don't fret. It'll be fine." he said trying to calm her. He heard her sigh heavily on the other side. Atleast she was going to drop the subject.

"So other than this whole Antonio situation, what have you been up to?" she asked finally calm.

"Nothing really...just lying here." he said looking up at his ceiling. "How are you?" he asked her.

"I'm ok. I'd be better if you were here." she admitted. Lovino smiled.

"Really? Why?" he asked. She hadn't told him she loved him in a long time. She is, surprisingly, not the most affectionate person in the world and he knows that, but he needs to hear her say it. How important he is in her life, how he is all she thinks about, that he's her knight in shining armor. He thought about what Antonio said that afternoon but he quickly pushed the thought away and focused on his girlfriend.

She clears her throat. "We've never had phone sex." she said bluntly.

Ok, so those weren't the words he was looking for. He honestly shouldn't be surprised. He found it just a little...odd. Normally its the man that initiated such things. But he couldn't blame her. They've never had sex. Ever. Not phone sex or real sex. They came close to once in May, but he kind of chickened out. Sad how the roles in their relationship seemed to be slightly reversed...

"Phone sex?" he repeated, unsure.

"Yea. Touch yourself and tell me what your doing, it'll turn me on." She said seductively, eliciting a soft moan. Lovino blushed and he stuttered.

"Femke I..." He began.

"What?"

They hadn't seen each other in months and hadn't spoken to each other much and she wants to from "Hi, nice to see you after a summer apart." to "Touch yourself while I do the same thing."

"I'm...not into it...not now atleast..." he said shyly.

"You sure?" she asked surprised.

"Yea. You mad?" he asked nervously.

"No. Just thought we'd spice up our relationship is all." she responded.

"I didn't realize we were boring." he said slightly insulted.

"I guess I just got tired of the same old routine." She said. "All summer I been water-skiing, wakeboarding, mountain climbing, things that get your heart racing and blood pumping. Pure adrendaline rush, you know?" she said.

"uh-huh." he said mindlessly.

"yea. Lovi?"

"yea?"

"I'm ready to have that adrenaline rush...with you."

–

**DURRP its 3:07am over here XD i'm done for the night. If Spain continues to inspire me in my sleep and his song replays in my head still, expect more chapters tomorrow. Yes I said chapters, PLURAL. XD but dont expect this to be an everyday thing. Soon I start summer school . and if I end up filming another CMV i'll be spending my time working on that or working on a cosplay for a con next month. But I will still try to work on this in my down time. (PFFFFT I have a USUK fix that I still havent updated in months XD) **

**reviews n stuffs are always welcomed~**


	5. Careful what you bet for

** I just wake up and whats the first thing I do? Play Spain's song and type this up XD I woke up to like 5 reviews so i'm really happy~ so hear ya guys go!**

–

The next day at school, Antonio sat down on the grass eating his lunch with his friends. They were laughing about something that Gilbert did the other day to his little brother.

"So when he finally got home with his little friend and found all the sheets were gone, he went totally ballistic! It was beautiful!" he laughed. Antonio laughed with him as did the others.

"What about when he saw what you carved?" One of their friend's asked.

"Shit, I thought he was going to murder me! How would feel if you went into your room to see your sibling's name carved into every inch of the walls?" He doubled over laughing.

"You are one loco, motherfucker." Another one of their friends said. They all continued like that until one of them whistled as they saw Femke and Lovino pass by. Antonio rolled his eyes and pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"Look at that mamacita." One of them commented. Antonio couldn't help but scoff. He looked at him and smirked.

"You want her." he assumed.

"Hell no, shes a snow girl. I don't do snow girls." he said flatly taking a drag.

"And shes a total bitch." Gilbert added. "She be sittin' there thinking her shit don't stink."

"Hey, you know what I hear about your little chem partner, Toni?" one guy, a Cuban named Carlos asked.

"What? That he's a spoiled brat? Cuz I knew that already." Antonio said annoyed.

"That to but I hear, that he actually plays for the other team." he smirked. Antonio stopped momentarily and looked at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Carlos leaned closer to the group so that no one outside of it won't hear.

"That little Italian, is only dating that snow girl, to cover up the fact that he is some kind of fruity." he chuckled. "I mean just look at him, when you think about it, he seems a little to...feminine...for a straight guy." Antonio looked at the Italian and watched as he sat on top of the bench with Femke sitting between his legs, talking to friends and kissing every few times and laughing. Lovino looked over at Antonio and for a moment, their eyes met. Lovino immediately turned red and scowled, looking away.

"aaaw shit, Toni! You gotta sit next to a fag!" one of the other guys mused. Antonio looked back at the group and put on a disgusted look.

"Shit man, what if he like, tries to feel on you or some shit on an assignment?" Gilbert laughed.

"Hell, that little introduction you made, what if he took that shit seriously, bro?" another one fell over laughing.

"Oh, oh I got an idea!" Carlos piped up. "Toni, you should, should prove our theory correct." Antonio spat out his drink.

"How the hell am I suppose to do that, pandejo?" Antonio inquired.

"Just trick the kid, man. Make him believe you wanna start somethin' with him or whatever shit homos fantasize about." he rolled his eyes. It took a moment for Antonio to completely register what he was talking about.

"I mean unless you know." he continued. "Your afraid you'll fall for a fag like that." Antonio's defenses went up.

"Hell no man. I don't roll that way. I can do it." Antonio said without much a thought.

"Oh bring proof." Gilbert said, amused with the situation.

"What the hell am I suppose to do prove it?" Antonio was getting more and more annoyed.

"Hell if I know. Figure it out. Toni." Gilbert said.

"Get like audio recording of him saying somethin' like," he paused, putting on a innocent look and making his voice go an octave higher "Oh, Toni, please take me, like you would with your women." he said in a mocking manner. Everyone but Antonio started laughing.

"If you can do it by Halloween, you can get my RX-7. If you don't, I get your motorcycle. Deal?" Carlos said. Antonio thought about it and grinned.

"Your on."

The bell rings and they all start heading to class. Antonio sits on his stool as he waits for Lovino. He can't believe he's actually looking forward to seeing the spoiled little Italian.

_All for the bet... _He told himself.

Lovino came in holding his girlfriend's hand and they kiss before separating to their assigned seats. The moment he sat down he looked straight ahead towards the teacher, not saying a word.

"You gotta talk to me at some point, you know." Antonio said, his eyes not tearing away from the Italian. He scowled.

"Not on your fucking life bastardo. I don't care for your type." he said and looked back to the front of the class.

"You wouldn't know what to do with all this testosterone if you had it in your hands." he baited.

"Your disgusting." He glares at him before looking to the teacher.

"What if I say we would make a great couple?" he had to keep from laughing.

"I'd say your a queer."

–

Right after Lovino says that to the Spaniard, Mr. Honda calls the class to attention.

"You and your partner will pull a project from the hat. They are all equally challenging and will require meeting outside of class." he said. Antonio raised his hand.

"Hey Mr. H...is one of them a cure for multiple sclerosis?" Antonio asked with a cocky grin that puts Lovino's nerves on edge.

"Cause I don't think there would be enough time in the school year to complete that project."

Lovino wanted to kill the Spaniard. He could already see the D on his report card. Grades to his grandfather define are a reflection on ones worth. He reaches into the hat and pulls out a sheet of paper that says **Hand Warmers**.

"Hand Warmers?" Lovino asked. Antonio looks at the piece of paper.

"What the fuck are hand warmers?" He asks with a confused look on his face.

"Mr. Carriedo, I have another blue detention slip with your name on it. Now would you like to rephrase that question without such language or would you like to stay after school again?" Mr. Honda said.

"I'd love to hang out with you n all Mr. H, but I'd like to spend some time with my chem partner." Antonio responds, winking at Femke. Who in turn, glared as though warning him to not lay a finger on her boyfriend. "So I'll rephrase the question. What exactly are hand warmers?"

"Thermal chemistry, Mr. Carriedo. We use them to warm our hands."

Antonio has a big, cocky grin as he turns to Lovino. "I'm sure we can find other things to warm."

"I hate you." Lovino says loud enough for Femke and the rest of the class to hear. He wasn't going to let Antonio get the best of him, otherwise he would hear his grandfather tsk'ing about how reputations mean everything.

Antonio whispers, "Theres a thin line between love and hate. Maybe your confusing your emotions."

Lovino scoots away from him. "I wouldn't bet on it."

"I would."

It seemed to take forever before the bell finally rang. Lovino couldn't stand the Spaniard. They barely got anything done, due to them always getting into fight, normally starting with Antonio acting like a total perv. It didn't help matters when he saw how well Femke was working with Francis, despite that Francis might actually be a bigger pervert than Antonio. Mr. Honda had actually gotten to the point where he would send them to the principal's office. Antonio, obviously, could careless. But Lovino had never been sent there, nor was he planning to in the near future. Once the class began to leave, Lovino quickly left the classroom grabbing his girlfriend's hand and kissing her right in front of Antonio. In the corner of his eye, he sees the Spaniard smirking. Once he was done, she smiled and hugged him and headed to her next class. Antonio was still there and he glared at the man. He went up to the Italian and gave him a devilish grin.

"You think kissing your girl like that is gunna change things?" then he left. Lovino is left to wonder if he kissed her to prove something to Antonio or himself.

–

**FFFFF- FAIL CHAPTER IS FAIL XD It was kinda hard changing this bit from the book since its between male and female but _whatever_. Also, the bit where Gilbert was talking about carving his name onto the wall and taking Ludwig's sheets, thats a headcannon my friend made up XD Reviews n stuffs are always welcomed~3**


	6. Getting to paradise

**DURP. Here with another chappie~ thank you for all the reviews. :) it truly means a lot to me~**

–

Lovino lied in his room staring at his ceiling as music played from his radio. He looked to his side where he had a picture of him and Femke from when they first started dating. He frowned. Ever since the days prior, he hadn't been able to get the obnoxious Spaniard out of his head. Which was then followed by worries of his 3 year relationship with his girlfriend. He couldn't deny it anymore, their relationship seemed strained. They were the perfect couple though, they couldn't afford to break up. It would ruin his image, which was already starting to slip thanks to a certain gang member constantly bugging him, making his usually hidden temper show more often. He sighed heavily rubbing his eyes. He needed a break. So he did the one thing he could think of, and took a siesta. His grandfather wouldn't be home for 2 weeks and his brother was an idiot, so he would be able to nap peacefully for a bit.

He was woken up by bang an hour later. He shot up looked around. There was nothing. He left his room and surveyed the area. Nothing. He went downstairs, then he heard whispers. He made sure to keep quiet as he checked. What was it he was hearing? Was that...Feliciano?

"Shhh...Ludwig, this way. My Fratello should be asleep right now..." his brother whispered.

"Ah, are you sure this is a very good idea...?" A German accented voice asked unsure.

"Oh don't worry, Ludwig~ it'll be fine~" he heard his brother again. They seemed to be headed to the stairs, so Lovino quickly went back into his room, careful to close the door quietly. He kept his ear to the door as he tried to listen, but he could barely make out what they were saying.

"Feli...I'm not so sure about..."

"Shhh Ludwig...its alright...we're alone." he never heard his brother so quiet before.

"But your brother-"

"My brother is a heavy sleeper." Feliciano giggled.

"...If...you say so..." Ludwig still seemed unsure.

"Hey Ludwig...?"

"Y-Yes Feli?"

"How do you say "Kiss me" in German?" Lovino's eyes widened.

"... Kuss Mich..." he said shakily.

"Kuss Mich, Ludwig..." Feliciano said so quietly Lovino almost didn't hear it. There was a slam of a door from Feliciano's room and that was all Lovino could take. He checked the time and saw that it was 5:00. He picked up his cell phone and began calling some people.

–

Antonio was chilling at the warehouse where the other gang members usually hang out at. Drinking and smoking, the usual. Normally he goes home and picks tomatoes for his mom but today was different.

He wanted to forget.

That little Italian chem partner of his had been plaguing his thought lately and he was really getting tired of it. So tonight, he was planning on getting fucked up. He had grabbed what was probably his 3rd beer and chugged the can. He repeated the process a few more times. Soon they all found themselves at the beach of Lake Michigan and he was in the water. How he got there, he didn't know. Then he heard a voice. A feminine one. He turned around to find dark chocolate eyes meet his with a seductive smile. She asked something but he didn't know what it was. He just merely nodded and let her do what he pleased. But he didn't want chocolate. He wanted amber. But he couldn't find the amber eyes he had secretly longed for. They were in the water, and the one with chocolate eyes was wrapping herself around him, kissing his neck. As though she hadn't broke his heart 3 months prior. He was sick of chocolate. But he knew he couldn't get amber. The thought of not being able to have such a creature with him tore at him. He decided to settle with chocolate for now. But he still would never stop wanting the amber with the light brown hair with an odd curl that he found absolutely adorable. Or how red he would get when he was anger he resembled a tomato. Chocolate gave him a white paper wrapped stick with smoke coming out of it and he gladly took it taking in a deep drag from it. He soon found oblivion.

In the end, he managed to get Femke, Francis, and unfortunately his brother, who had finally stopped making out with his 'friend' Ludwig, to go out. Ludwig, apparently, needed to get home before his brother caused anymore damage to their house. Femke had suggested they all go to a club one of her girlfriend's suggested. Despite the fact that Lovino actually didn't like to dance. Ok so it wasn't that he didn't like it, more like he didn't know how to, so therefore he'd rather stay behind than make a fool of himself. After watching his brother and Femke dance with different people, he and Francis stayed behind and watched. Francis flirted with practically every girl he saw while Lovino just sat there and made idle conversation with girls that approached him.

Now they were at Femke's place heading for the private beach behind her house. Lovino and Feliciano were laying down the sheets while Femke lagged behind with Francis unloading the the beer and bottles of wine from Francis' car.

"So...about me and Ludwig..." Feliciano said suddenly. Lovino groaned.

"Fuck, that potato bastard..." he rolled his eyes but saw the hurt look in his brother's eyes. He sighed.

"Sorry, what about him?" he asked.

"Well...me and him are kind of...dating..." Feliciano blushed and fidgeted. Lovino, instead of face-palming like he had wanted to, placed a hand on his brother's shoulder and smiled.

"Your an idiot." he said. Felicano looked down shamefully but was pulled into a tight hug. "You know it won't be easy..." he started.

"Yes..i know Lovi..." he said shakily.

"You know people won't like that your with someone not of our status, right?" he held him tighter. "And the same sex at that.."

"Si, fratello. I know but..." he pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"I love him..." he blushed. Lovino couldn't help but laugh.

"Yea I know you do. If you didn't then you wouldn't have gone through the trouble of sneaking him into our house." he said with a scowl but Feliciano knew he meant well.

Femke and Francis finally finished unloading everything and they all sat down watching the ocean, talking about class, life, music. Feliciano began talking about a new recipe for pasta he discovered and Francis was heavily interested. Femke laughed as Lovino scowled at his brother for talking about food so obsessively. Eventually, Femke had asked them both to actually go and make it because she was so curious how good it was. Her parents weren't home either so there was no problem with the two guys invading the kitchen to make them dinner. Lovino and Femke sat by the fire, with Femke leaning against him. Lovino grabs the bottle of Chardonnay and he finishes it off. He feels buzzed , but he would need a bottle all to himself to completely forget.

"Did you miss me this summer?" he whispered against her ear huskily without realizing it, while smoothing down her hair.

She adjusts herself so that shes directly on top of Lovino's lower half and she moves her hips slightly. "Yea.." she says kissing his cheek. "Lots.."

Lovino quickly moves her so that shes not so on top of his groin but almost immediately, she grabs his hands and pulls them to her front so that he's squeezing her breasts like water-balloons. He never minded her advances before but now he just found them annoying and...pathetic really. He let go of her and kept his hands at his sides.

"What's wrong, Lovi?"

"I...I don't know..." he really didn't know. Their relationship seemed really weird to him now and thoughts of Antonio kept invading his mind. Which is annoying to him now. He gets up and grabs a beer. "It feels forced." he said taking a sip of his beer. "Can't we just sit here without fooling around?"

Femke lets out a long, dramatic breath. "Lovi, I wanna do it."

He tried downing the entire can in one gulp but ended up spewing out some of it. "Wait what the he- you mean now? Where Francis and my brother can see us?" he asked, freaked out.

"Yea, why not? I mean, we waited long enough."

He couldn't believe it. He felt nervous having this conversation, but he knew it was coming. "I...I don't know...i guess I thought it would happen naturally.."

"What can be more natural than doing it outside in the sand?" She asked, her voice turning into that seductive tone he has grown annoyed of.

"What about protection?"

"You can just pull out."

He grimaced at that response. That didn't seem fitting for a first time. He would be freaking out the entire time about getting her pregnant. Not how he wants his first time to be. "Making love means a lot to me..." great, now he sounded like a chick.

"It does to be me to, so lets do it."

"I feel like this summer has changed you."

"Maybe it did." she says defensively. "Maybe I realized our relationship needs to be more. Dammit, Lovi, who has heard of a senior being a fucking virgin? Everyone thinks we've done it, so why not? Shit, you got Carriedo thinking he can somehow get you to bend over for him!"

His heart slammed into his chest. "You think I'd rather go gay for him than sleep with you?" his face starting to burn. He isn't sure if its the alcohol making him emotional or if its because his words hit the target. His thoughts are on his chem partner, and he hates himself for it. And now he hates Femke for pointing it out. "What about Francis? You two are always so fucking cozy with each other in chemistry!"

"Get off it, Lovino! So some guy pays attention to me during class. Obviously your not because your to busy arguing with Carriedo. Everyone knows its all sexual tension!" she accused.

"Thats not fucking fair Femke!"

"Whats going on fratello?" Feliciano asked, coming back with Francis.

"Nothing. I'm going home!" Lovino shouted.

"I'll come with you, Lovi!" Feliciano put down the bowl of pasta and ran after him.

"No! I'm going on my own! Francis can give you a ride!" he was finally feeling light-headed. As though he was having an out of body experience and he wanted to go through it alone. He started walking, stumbling more like it, away from them.

"He's drunk." Francis said eying the empty bottle and can where he was sitting.

"Am not!" he shouts again grabbing another one and opening it as he walks by himself. Alone. The way it should be.

"I don't want you to go alone, fratello!" Feliciano cried.

"I want to be alone, just...i need to sort things out." He says still walking.

"Lovi...come back." Femke says but doesn't move. He ignores her.

"Don't go past the fourth pier." Feliciano calls out to him. "Its not safe!"

Safe. Shmafe. So what if something happened to him? Femke wouldn't care. Neither would his grandfather. He continues to walk for what felt like an hour, he paused only to take a look out at Lake Michigan. Watching as the shiny moon reflected against the dark water surface. He takes in the salty air that washed his face and lets his feet sink into the sand. He needed to keep going but the sand felt so good on his feet. Where was his home again? Ah, well. It couldn't be far. He kept walking as he passed a pier. Wait, was that the 3rd or 4th one he passed? Why did it matter again? Something about it not being safe or some bullshit like that. He kept on walking until he heard music. He loves music. He let his body move along with the unfamiliar sounds as he continued his way down the seemingly endless beach. He hadn't realized how far he had gone until the sound of laughing and voices in Spanish causes him to freeze. The looks of people in black and red bandana's are a sign that he's gone past the fourth pier.

"Hey look guys, its Lovino Vargas." one of the guys in red mused.

He looks around desperately for a familiar face, Antonio, he sees him. And straddling him is none other than his girlfriend, Rosa. His green eyes piercing his amber eyes. A sobering sight.

"Hey, maybe we oughta show him who really runs things around here." one of them said.

"Yea, how much you think he has on 'im?" one of them asked.

Now he may have been drunk, but not to drunk to not know he was in danger. He started to run when a voice stopped him.

"Lovino.."

He turned around to see him.

Antonio.

The guy he hates.

The guy he can't stop thinking about, no matter how drunk he is.

But for some reason, Antonio doesn't look as intimidating now. His eyes having grown soft at the condition he found the drunk Italian. Lovino looked up at him, his vision going fuzzy from the alcohol, or was it tears? He couldn't tell anymore. He felt himself getting dizzy, as though he was going to fall. Almost instantly, Antonio had him in his arms.

"Your drunk." He said.

"No I'm not...I'm..just enjoying the ride..." he said shakily trying to steady himself.

"We're not on a ride.."

"Oh..." he said realizing he was right.

"I hate to break it to you, Lovi, but your going to puke." Antonio said calmly trying to keep the wobbling Italian still.

He was right. Lovino's stomach was churning. Antonio's hands were in Lovino's hair pulling back his longish bangs away from his face as he bent over to throw up. He can't stop himself from emptying the contents that were in his stomach. He made gurgling and disgusting gagging noises as his stomach roiled.

In between puking fits he managed to say. "Look at that...my dinner is all over your shoe."

–

He looked down at the chunks that covered his shoe. "I've had worse done to me before."

He straightens and Antonio lets the hair fall from his fingers. He couldn't help but think how it fell from his fingers like silk thread. Suddenly, thoughts of being a pirate and taking Lovino away onto his ship raced through his mind. Although hes not a pirate, and hes not his captured prince. They were just teenagers who hate each other. Okay, so Antonio really didn't hate him.

He slid off the bandana and handed it to Lovino. "here, wipe your face."

He takes it from him and dabs the sides of his mouth as if its a napkin from a high class restaurant while he cleaned his shoe in the cold Lake Michigan water. Antonio isn't sure what to say or do. He was alone...with a very drunk Lovino Vargas. He wasn't used to a situation like this. He could easily persuade Lovino to say something about having sex with that he could record and he could just leave him there but...it didn't sit well with him. He could also just take advantage of him right there and then and...

What?

Antonio had to smack himself for having such weird thoughts about the drunk Italian.

"Let me get someone to take you home." he said before his drunken mind can think of any other weird scenarios that could happen.

He pursed his lips and pouts like a little kid. "No. I don't want to go fucking home. Anywhere but home."

_Oh man. Tengo un problema grande._

He looks up to me, his eyes in the moonlight sparkling like rare, expensive jewels. "Femke is such a fucking idiot. She thinks I want you, you know. She says our fighting is sexual tension. Isn't that fucking stupid?" he said trying to laugh but Antonio saw that he actually wanted to cry.

"Is it?" he asked holding his breath. Wait, why the hell did he feel like it was a good thing? Man he must really be drunk.

He holds up his finger to Antonio's lips "hold that thought." then he kneels over and pukes again. When he finishes, he is to weak to walk. He resembles a old garage-sale leftover rag doll. He picks him up to take him to the huge bonfire his friends had made, not knowing what else to do. When he wraps his arms around Antonio's neck, he felt the sudden urge to protect the fragile Italian. All eyes are on him when he shows up with a passed out Italian in his arms. Carlos looks pissed but also wierded out.

"Shit, Antonio. You didn't really have to go all the way with him." he said.

"Shut the fuck up. He just passed out." he rolled his eyes. Out of the corner of his eye. He sees a seething Rosa.

Shit, he totally screwed her over this time and deserves her wrath. He motions for Elizaveta, a close friend, to come help him. She eyes him oddly and he sighed.

"I didn't do anything to him, ok?"

"What do you want me to do with him?" she asked.

"Get him out of here. I'm to wasted to drive." he said. She looked at him and saw the desperation in his eyes. And she leaned closer to him so no one else can hear.

"You know he has a girlfriend. And is rich. And wheres designer clothes you'll never be able to buy for him and lives on the white side of town."

Yes, he knew all of that and was tired of being reminded of that.

"Just help me get him out of here, ok?" he said getting annoyed.

"I'm just pointing out the facts. No matter how much you want him in your life, he doesn't belong. A triangle can't fit into a square. Now I'll shut up."

"Gracias." he says as she takes him and goes to her car. He was seriously figuring out why he had decided to spill his guts to Eliza of all people. She figures shit out to easily for his liking and then decides to be a dream killer. He followed her to the car as she laid Lovino in the back seat. He was hoping they could walk in silence. No such luck.

"I had class with him last year."

"uh-huh."

she shrugs. "Nice guy. Gets angry easily."

"Most guys hate him."

"Most guys wish they could be like him. And wish they had his money and his girlfriend.

I stop and look at her in disgust. "Femke? Seriously?" She was hot n all but she was just so annoying and a total bitch.

"Oh please Antonio. She is on the captain of the cheerleading squad and one of the most popular girls in school." she rolled her eyes as though it was an obvious thing.

He lays Lovino down in the backseat and slides in next to him. He immediately snuggles against Antonio and uses him as a pillow. He tries to maneuver his arm comfortably without touch Lovino but came to no avail. Why was he so nervous? He is just another guy. So what if he just put his arm where found it most comfortable? He settles with having his arm around his mid-section and then Lovino cuddles closer to him. Antonio is feeling weird and light-headed, either from the alcohol or...well he doesn't want to dwell on the "or".

As Eliza pulls back, Gilbert stops her and jumps to the front seat. "Hey guys thought I'd come for the ride." He grinned. He turns and sees Antonio's arm around Lovino and he shakes his head tsk'ing.

"Shut up." he says.

"I didn't say anythin'" Gilbert turned back around retaining a laugh.

A cell phone rings and he can feel the vibration through Lovino's shorts.

"Its his." Antonio says.

"Answer it." Eliza told him.

He already feels like he kidnapped the boy. Now he has to answer his cell? Shit. Rolling him a bit he feels for the bulge in his back pocket.

"Contesta." she whispers loudly this time in Spanish. Despite the fact that shes Hungarian, her step-dad is mexican so she had to learn the language.

"I am." he hisses, his fingers clumsy as he fumbles with the phone.

"I'll do it." Gilbert says leaning over the seats and reaching Lovino's ass.

Antonio whacks his hand away. "Get your hands off him."

"Shit man I was trying to help."

His response was a glare.

He slides his finger into the pocket trying not to think how it would feel without the shorts on. He grabs the phone and looks at the caller ID.

"Its his brother Feliciano."

"Answer it." Gilbert says, ignoring the familiarity he felt with the name.

"Etas loco, guey? I'm not talking to _them_."

"Then why'd you get it out of his pocket in the first place?"

Thats a good question. One he didn't know how to answer.

Eliza shakes her head. "That's what you get for messing with a square."

"We should take him home." Gilbert says. "You can't keep him."

He knows that, but he isn't ready to give him up yet. "Eliza, take him to your house."

–

**HOOOLLYY CRAPP THIS IS LONG DX IT TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE THIS CUZ THERE WAS SO MUCH I WANTED TO PUT IN BUT THEN TAKE OUT THEND FN GMNS GNAGF ANG ,BEG EBTQKEJBFKENG . anyway atleast this chapter is done. Like I said, review n stuff and herp a derp tell me what you think. /dies**


	7. Get Real

** OMAGAWD GUISE! THESE REVIEWS. ;A; YOU SPOIL ME SO! Just when Spain stopped inspiring me (I started listening to another song that inspires me with GerIta) I was thinking "meh I dont feel like updating" but these reviews make me want to! You guys are awesome! my 2 other fics dont have as many reviews as this one so im just MLKFMANFVSMDK;NGVSMKFGRBKJGB I LOVE YOU GUYS.**

**Enough of my rambling. ON TO THE STORY.**

**(I realize I haven't done a disclaimer and im kinda broke so...)**

**Hetalia doesn't belong to me. (if it did, all my otps's would be completely and utterly cannon)**

**Perfect Chemistry doesn't belong to me either. (but if it did, Alex Fuentes would be married to me and not Britney :D)**

–

Lovino was dreaming that a bunch of tomatoes were dancing around him in a weird ritual while 2 potatoes danced on top of his head with hammers. His eyes opened wearily to a blinding light and he found himself in an unfamiliar room. He quickly shut his eyes as the light somehow burned his brain using his eyes as a passage way. The potatoes kept on jumping and hammering in his head.

"You have a hangover." a girl says.

He squints and he's able to see a girl, with unbelievably long brown hair and impossibly green eyes. Nothing compared to Antonio's eyes anyway. His eyes widened at the thought of Antonio and he shot up from the bed, immediately regretting that decision.

"I wouldn't move if I were you." She said. "You'll probably puke again and I don't think my parents would like you ruining the carpet." She stood up to pull the yellow curtains that matched with the yellow wallpaper closed. "Lucky for us, my parents are out of town. So I get the house to myself till tonight." she said standing over him as he tried registering his surroundings.

"How the fuck did I get here...?" Lovino cursed, still feeling the angry potatoes' wrath. The last thing he remembered was starting to walk home from the beach.

"You passed out at the beach. Antonio and I brought you here." she shrugged.

He took another look at her and recognized her as Elizaveta. A girl that was on the cheerleading squad with Femke. His eyes went fully open at the mention of Antonio. He then vaguely remembered walking down the beach and seeing Antonio with Rosa and then he was in Antonio's arms and then...

He puked. He distinctly remembered puking. Not the best image he was trying to project. He slowly got up and looked at her nervously.

"Did I do anything stupid?" Lovino asked, scared of the answer.

"I don't actually know honestly. Antonio wouldn't let anyone get close enough to you." She smirked slightly. "If you call passing out into his arms stupid, then I guess you managed it."

He drops his head into his hands. "Oh God...Elizaveta...please don't tell Femke..."

Her smirked eased into a sincere smile and she puts her hands in the air "Don't worry. I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole. Her anger would be put out on us in the squad." she laughed.

"Why are you nice to me?" He had to ask. He knew she and Femke didn't get along. So why help her boyfriend?

"I shouldn't tell you this seeing as how your her boyfriend but honestly, i'll do just about anything to piss her off. So if letting you crash at my house hungover puts her over the edge than so be it." She stretched her sore muscles. Lovino was silent unsure what to do or say now. Eliza decided to break it the silence.

"If you want to talk to Antonio, he's asleep out on the couch in the living room. He passed out as soon as he carried you onto bed."

Oh no, Antonio was here to? In Eliza's house?

"He likes you." She said looking at her nails and not as Lovino.

He felt his face turn red and butterflies in his stomach. "No he doesn't..." he said trying to resist asking for details.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please, you know it, even if you don't want to admit it." Lovino was at a loss.

"Why are you sharing this with me?" he said hiding his feelings. She grinned.

"Lets just say I get a kick out of helping 2 guys finding each other." she laughed at the shocked look on Lovino's face. "I have to admit, I wish you were the total asshole people make you out to be."

"Why?"

"Its easier to hate someone who has it all."

A short cynical laugh escapes his mouth. He couldn't help but think about how his life is crumbling underneath him, and its only getting worse. "I've got to get home. Wheres my cell?" he asked realizing he didn't have it.

"Antonio has it. Or atleast he should still have it."

Lovino sighed. His plan on avoiding the Spaniard being dashed away. He gotta up and headed to living room. He's not hard to find. The house is smaller than Femke's pool house. Antonio is lying there with jeans on, and nothing else. His eyes open and look at Lovino, though they are bloodshot and glazed over with sleep.

"Hey." he says warmly, and slightly cheerful. A complete 360 from the way he is at school. He stretches and Lovino had to tear his eyes away from staring at his chiseled triceps, biceps and any other "eps" that may exist. He feels himself turn even more red than before when his gaze meets Antonio's.

"Hey." he managed to get out through his dry mouth. "I...guess I should thank you for bringing me here and not passed out on the beach..so...grazie." he rubbed his head scowling.

Antonio's gaze doesn't falter and he smiles, a genuine smile. Almost carefree, almost.

"Last night. I realized something. Me and you, we're not all that different. We both play the same game. You use your brain, your looks, and your body to make sure your always in control."

Lovino groaned. "I'm hungover right now. I can't think straight and all this philosophical crap is making it worse."

"See, your doing it now." He says standing up and walking to the Italian. "Be real with me, Lovi. I dare you." his carefree expression from moments before had quickly faded back to his dark, serious look. Lovino just stared at him.

Be real? He couldn't do it if he tried. If he did, he would get so emotional and freak out enough to blurt out the truth- that he creates a perfect image so he can hide behind it. "I better get home."

"Before you do that, I suggest you go to the bathroom." before Lovino could ask why, he caught glimpse of himself in a mirror and headed straight for it.

His hair was a beyond frizzy mess, hes curl sticking out more than usual, and his eyes had huge bags under it as thought he was storing water for months. He found a brush and tried brushing down his hair as much as possible. He washed his face of any sleepiness that was still there and tried to make the puffiness go away. When it deemed it be the best as it can get, he walked out of the bathroom with his head held high.

"Wheres my cell?" he asked "and put a damn shirt on."

He reaches down and grabs his phone off the floor. "Why?"

"The reason I need my phone is to call my dumbass brother." he said as he took it from the Spaniard. "I want you to put a fucking shirt on because...uh..."

"You've never seen a guy with his shirt off?" he mused.

"No, bastard. I'm more than sure whatever yo have ive seen before on myself." he rolled his eyes.

"Wanna bet?" he says then moves his hands to the button on his jeans and pops it open.

Elizaveta walks in at that exact moment. "Whoa, Toni. Please keep your pants on."

When she looks over at Lovino he scowls and puts his hands up. "Don't fucking look at me, I was about to call my brother when he-"

Shaking her head she grabs her purse as Antonio buttons back up. "Forget that. I'll drive you home."

"_I'll _drive him home." Antonio cuts in.

She groans. "Lovino who do you want to drive you home? Me or Antonio?"

He thought about it. He couldn't afford to be alone with Antonio again. He had a girlfriend but he couldn't deny that every time he caught Antonio looking at him, he felt warmth spread across him. Its understandable, they're teenagers. But they are also both male. If he ever decided to go with what he felt, he would ruin his image. He would be ridiculed, made an outcast. Most of all, he would lose what was left of his grandfather's love. He knew his grandfather was on a thin line with him. He always preferred Feliciano anyway, no matter what he wore or what he did.

"Eliza, take me home." he says then looks at Antonio. He gives a shake of his head, grabs his shirt and keys then storms out the front door. Lovino silent follows Elizaveta to her car.

"You like Antonio more than friend, right?" Lovino asked.

"More like a brother. We've known each other since we were kids." she responded.

He gives her directions to his house. "You sure? You don't think of him in a certain way?" he refrained from saying "Hot".

"I've known him since he cried like a baby when Gilbert used to pick on him. He was the first kid I met when me and my family moved to the south side after leaving Hungary. I was there when...well just keep it at the fact that we've been through a lot together."

"Like what?" he couldn't stop himself from asking.

"I can't share that with you."

"So...our friendship ends here?" he asked.

"Lovi, our friendship just began. Don't push it." she says as they pull up to his house.

He holds onto the door handle and looks at her. "I won't let anything happen between me and Antonio...I promise."

"Good, because if you do, it'll blow up in both of your faces."

They were both silent. "Well, thanks for the ride." he says. "And for letting me crash at your place."

Eliza flashed him a weak smile. "No problem.".

Then Lovino goes into his house and crawls into bed, choosing to ignore the sound of a door opening and drunk laughing from his grandfather and a women. His eyes opened as he saw his brother come into the room, sad. Without a word, he welcomes his twin into his bed and tried blocking out the very audible noises coming from their grandfather's room.

–

Lovino had called him. He wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't been for his mother writing down his number and message for him. He immediately opened his cell phone and saved his number into it. He felt the urge to call the Italian. He saw the fear in his eyes when he suggested he be real with him. He wanted to know what it was he was hiding behind the wall of perfection. When he said that they were a lot alike, he wasn't kidding. He seriously thought it to be true, and he wanted to be closer with boy.

"Who ya callin'?" Gilbert asks, barging into his house without ringing or knocking. Eliza files behind him.

He closes his phone shut. "Nadie."

"Then get off your ass and lets go outside!" he said grabbing the Spaniard. Eliza had somehow beat them outside and waited for them to come out, something hidden behind her back.

"C'mon man! Lets have some fun-" Eliza shoots him with a water gun and Antonio is doubled-over laughing. Gilbert started cursing as the water continued to be shot into his face and he couldn't even see.

"GAH! FUCKING... BITCH! WHY...WOULD YOU..." he shouted in between shots. "THIS IS WATERBOARD...ING...THATS ILLE..GAL.." he continued shouting as the Hungarian smirked. Antonio wiped his eyes from tears of laughter. It was times like this that reminded him of the good ol' days.

Gilbert ran off away from the Hungarian women and hid. He absolutely hated water. Antonio kept laughing still until he started getting shot by water himself.

"NO! I GIVE I GIVE! ELIZA!" he screamed. The water was fucking cold. She just stood there, laughing like an insane women.

After an hour of being chased by an insane women with a water gun, then getting back at her with water balloons, they all sat in Gilbert's basement, soaked.

Elizaveta stood up and sighed. "Well, its been fun boys. But I'm going home and showering now." she said leaving.

After they heard the door slam Antonio glared at the albino.

"Alright, spill it." he demanded.

"I don't know what your talking about, bro."

"Bullshit you know what I'm talking about. What have you and Eliza been up to?" he knew something was going on from all the times they had been alone together for long periods of time, and him being the defensive friend he is, he wasn't gunna let one of his best friends hurt his other best friend.

"We've fooled around a bit its all. But not anymore. We're done with that." he said, getting a cigarette.

"You do know she actually feels like there is something between you, right?" Antonio wished his friend wasn't so dumb.

"Well thats her own fault for thinking such things. She knows how I am." he said taking a drag.

"Your full of shit." Antonio responds. He knows Gilbert really does care about Eliza. But he was the same way he was. He doesn't get close to anyone, in fear of losing them. His parents died leaving the German brothers to fend for themselves. They had no family within the country and foster care wasn't an option. They both soon got jobs to pay for their living necessities, however, Ludwig seemed to be doing more than Gilbert despite that Gilbert is older than him. He even set rules around the house that Gilbert must abide by. Which reminds him.

"Say, Gilbert..." Antonio asked.

"Whats up."

"Where's your brother?"

"At work. Should be home in about-"

"GILBERT!" they heard at the slam of the door opening.

"..now." he smirked thinking his brother saw the wet, muddy footprints from him and his friends.

"VERDAMMIT GILBERT! I WARNED YOU!" he shouted, and then they heard water running. Gilbert's eyes widened and stared at Antonio.

"Get out. Now." he said opening the window near the roof of the basement that led to the outside.

"Whats wro-"

"Don't ask! Just go!" he shoved the Spaniard out.

"I TOLD YOU I WOULD FLOOD THE DAMN PLACE!"

"I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE SERIOUS!"

Antonio just ran home, honestly afraid of the younger German. Once he gets in, he decides to call the little Italian after all. He was pissed he didn't want him to drive him home because he didn't want to be seen with him. Fuck that shit. He grabs his phone and presses call. It rings twice. Three times.

"Ciao?" a disgruntled sigh from the other line picked up.

"meet me at the library, now." he says without letting any questions being asked.

"I can't" He started.

"Listen, Lovino." he says as he straddles his motorcycle. "You meet me at the library in 15 minutes, or else I bring 5 of my friends and we camp out on your yard."

"What? You fucking bastard I-" Antonio hung up before he could finish and headed to the library.

–

**AAAAAAAND DONE :D. I hope you guys liked it (though I kinda rushed through this one, its burning hot in my room Dx) MORE HEADCANNONS FROM MY FRIEND XD (if you see this: 3)**

**Review, favorite, idk what you do if you like it :D.**


	8. To Hand Warmers

** Back wif another chapter :D but before we get to that I would like to say that I apprieciate all of the reviews and author alerts n stuff! I have another fic called "The Lonely" that I made last night and it has received to much love, so if you guys are intrested please check it out and review n stuff. Its a angsty one-shot about Italy based on the song "The Lonely" by Christina Perri. I'll just leave it at that :p Also, i'm starting summer school monday, so updates wont be as frequent probably . for about 3 weeks so after I should be updating more~ Now on to the story!**

–

Lovino is steaming mad when he pulls into the parking of the library. The last thing on his mind is their chemistry project. Antonio is waiting for him, leaning against his motorcycle. He takes the keys out of the ignition and storms over to the Spaniard.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Ordering me around like your my boss or some shit!" he yelled. His entire life is full of people trying to control him. His grandfather, Femke and now Antonio. He was done with it. "If you even think for a fucking second you can threaten me into-"

Without saying anything Antonio snatches his keys out of his hand and sits in the driver seat of his Beemer.

"Antonio, what the fuck do you think your doing?"

"Get in." he says not looking at the Italian.

The engine roars. Lovino clenches his fist and gets in the passenger seat. Once he's in, Antonio revs the engine.

"Wheres my picture of Femke?" he asked eyeing his dashboard. It was taped up there a minute ago.

"Don't worry. You'll get it back. I don't have the stomach to look at it while I'm driving."

"Do you even know how to drive a stick." he barked, glaring.

Without looking down he puts the car into first gear and the car screeches out of the lot. The Beemer follows his lead as if the car and Antonio are in sync.

"This is carjacking, you bastard." Silence. "And kidnapping." he added.

They stopped at a light. He looks around, glad that the top was up so no one saw them.

"Mira, you got in on your own free will." he says.

"It's my car, asshole. What if someone sees us?"

Lovino's words really piss him off, the tires screech angrily when the light turns green. He's purposefully ruining his car.

"Stop it!" he ordered. "Take me back to the library."

But he doesn't. He's silent as he winds his car through unknown towns and deserted roads, just like people do in the movies when they are about to do a dangerous drug deal.

_Fuck, I'm going on my first drug deal. If I get arrested, would grandpa bail me out? Would he send me to a camp for deliquents? I bet he'd like that... _These thoughts ran through his mind and his hand grabs the handle to the door.

"Let me out or I swear I'm jumping out." he threatened.

"You're wearin' a seatbelt." He rolls his eyes. "Relax. We'll be there in 2 minutes." He shifts into a lower gear and slows the car as they an old, deserted airport.

"Okay we're here."

He looked around. "What exactly is here? I hate to tell you but the last inhabited place was 3 miles back. I;m not getting out of the damn car, Antonio. You can do your drug deals on your own."

"If I had any doubts you were a true Italian, you've squelched 'em." he says. "As if I'd take you on a drug deal. Get out of the car."

"Give me one good reason why I should."

"Because if you don't, I'm gunna drag you out, trust me."

He put Lovino's keys in his back pocket and steps out of _his_ car. Seeing no other option, he follows him. "Listen if you wanted to discuss hand warmers, we could have done it over the phone."

He meets him around the back of the car, they stand toe to toe in the middle of nowhere.

There was something had been bugging him for awhile. "Did...we kiss...?" he asked apprehensively.

"Yes."

Lovino immediately turned red and quickly spoke. "Well, it wasn't memorable because I don't have a recollection of it at-"

He laughs. "I'm kiddin'. We didn't kiss." He leans in. "When we kiss you'll remember it. Forever."

Lovino felt his knees weaken, he hated himself for it. He should be scared, he was alone with a gang member in a deserted place talking about kissing. But he isn't. Deep in his soul, he knew he wouldn't intentionally hurt him or force him to do anything.

"Why did you kidnap me?" he asked.

Antonio grabs his hand and leads him to the driver seat. "Get in."

"Why?"

"I'm teachin' you how to drive this car properly, before the engine falls out from abuse."

"I thought you were mad at me. Why are you helping me?"

"Because I want to."

He wasn't expecting that. What he also wasn't expecting was the soft look on his face. He remembers that look, it was from they were at the beach. It was vague but it was still etched in his memory. He liked it much better on the Spaniard than the cold look he normally wears. But still...

"This isn't because you want me to pay back with favors, right?"

He shakes his head.

"For real?"

"For real."

"And your not mad at me because of anything I said or did?"

"I'm frustrated, Lovino. About you. About my friend. About a lot of shit."

"Then why take me here?"

"Don't ask questions you're not ready to hear the answers to, cool?" he said his cold expression quickly coming back

"Cool." Lovino slides into the driver's seat and wait for him to sit beside him.

"You ready?" He asks when he's buckled in the passenger seat.

"Yep."

For the next hour and a half, Antonio teaches Lovino the basics of driving stick that his grandfather was supposed to have taught him already. Lovino was more than surprised at how patient Antonio was when it came to teaching, even when he kept making the same mistakes over and over. At one point when he was holding onto the clutch, Antonio had his hand over his to instruct him better. Even after, his hand was still on top of his.

He blushed a deep red. "Lesson over?" he asked.

Antonio clears his throat. "Um, yeah." he takes his hand off Lovino's then weaves his fingers through his brown mane, his bangs falling loosely across his forhead,

"Thanks." he says, avoiding eye contact.

"Yea, well, my ears were bleedin' every time I heard your engine rev in the lot at the school. I didn't do it to be a good guy."

He cocked his head to the side and tries to get him to look at him. He doesn't. "Why is it so important to you to be perceived as a badass?"" he asked.

–

For the first time they were having a civilized conversation. Now he had to break down that defensive wall of Lovino's. He sighed. That meant he had to share something that made him vulnerable. If he sees him as vulnerable and not an asshole, maybe, he can make some headway with him. Somehow he knew though that he'd be able to tell if he was bullshitting.

He's not sure if hes doing it for the bet, the chemistry project, or himself. In fact, he was cool with not analyzing it that part of what was happening.

"My dad was murdered in front of me when I was six." he quickly said.

His eyes went wide. "Really?"

He nodded. He didn't like talking about it. He couldn't even if he wanted to.

His hands covered his mouth. "I didn't know that. Oh God...I'm so sorry. That must...have been so awful.." he stared out into space, his expression still in shock.

"Yep." it felt good for him to let it out, to make himself talk about it out loud. His dad's nervous smile before turning to shock right before he was shot.

He couldn't believe he remembered the expression on his face. He couldn't believe he had forgotten that detail. He turned to Lovino. "If I care to much about shit, and its taken away, I'll feel like I did the day my dad died. I never want to feel that way, so instead I make myself care about nothin'."

Lovino's face is full of regret, sorrow, and sympathy. He can tell its not an act.

His brow is still furrowed when he says. "Thanks for, you know, telling me. But I can't imagine you can actually make yourself care about nothing. You can't program yourself like that"

"Wanna bet?" Suddenly he's desperate to change the subject. "Your turn to share."

He looks away. He doesn't push him to say anything for fear he'll come to his senses and want to leave. Could it really be harder for him to share even a glimpse into his world? Antonio's life has been so fucked up, it's damn hard to believe his life could possibly be worse. He watched as a lone tear escapes from his eye and he quickly wipes it away.

"My brother is the perfect one. Not me. He doesn't have to worry about his image, because everyone likes him easily. He could be living on the streets and he would have people left and right trying to be his friend. Our grandfather loves him more than he loves me..." he trailed off.

Antonio sat there thinking about what he admitted.

"My brother, he is nice to everyone. He can cook, he's funny..hes..hes everything I'm not. I want to be like him but I can't. I want my grandfather to love me as much as my brother, but he has all these expectations from me its just..." he stopped.

Antonio didn't realize how difficult it must've been. Having to _earn_ your guardian's love? Thats not right. He senses a change in the wind...a mutual understanding of each other. He hadn't felt that way in forever.

"He probably does to you because he feels you have more potential. But thats no excuse." He was being real now, and hoped he was too.

"Listen, I don't want to be an asshole to you."

"I know. Its your image, what Antonio Carriedo is all about. It's your brand, your logo...dangerous, deadly, hot and sexy Spaniard. I wrote the book on creating an image. I wasn't exactly aiming for the queer, Italian look, though. More like the perfect, untouchable look."

Whoa, rewind. Did Lovino just call him hot and sexy? He was not expecting that at all. Maybe he had a chance at winning that stupid bet after all. "You do realize you just called me hot."

The Italian turned red and scowled, crossing his arms and looking away. "A-As if you didn't know..." he stuttered. "Just stating the obvious...No homo."

He didn't know Lovino Vargas considered him hot. "For the record, I thought you were untouchable. But now that I know that you think i'm a hot, sexy, Spanish god..."

"I never said the word 'god'."

He put his finger to his lips. "Shh, let me enjoy the fantasy for one minute." he closed his eyes. Lovino laughed, the sweet sound echoes in his ears.

"In some deranged way, Antonio. I think I understand you. Although I'm really pissed off at you for being such a neanderthal." When he opens his eyes he sees Lovino watching him. "Don't tell anyone about my grandfather. I don't like people knowing anything about me."

"We're actors in our lives. Pretendin' to be who we want people to think we are." he sighed.

"So you understand why I'd freak out if my grandfather or brother ever found out we're...friends."

"You'd get in trouble? Shit, your eighteen. Don't you think you can be friends with who you want by now?"

"You don't understand."

"Try me."

"Why do you want to know so much?"

"Aren't chem partners suppose to know a lot about each other?"

He gives a short laugh. "I hope not."

They drive back to the library in comfortable silence as the sun set. Their truce brought him closer to his goals: Graduation, the bet...and something else he wasn't ready to admit. As he pulls the car into the dark parking lot and he gets out, pulling the picture of Femke out of his pocket and putting it on the seat he just vacated he says "Thanks for ya know, lettin me kidnap you. I guess i'll see you around." He gave him the keys. He wonders if he'll ever be able to afford a nice car that wasn't beat up or old or rusted or used. He begins to leave when suddenly Lovino called him.

"Antonio!"

"What?" he turns around and the Italian is right in front of him. He's looking at him with a seductive smile, as though wanting something more than just a truce. Antonio's face heated up as he got closer. Was he going to kiss him? He started going through every scenario possible when Lovino reached down and grabbed Antonio's keys.

"What do you think your doing?" he asked.

"Getting back at you for kidnapping me." he steps back and with all his might, he throws the keys into the woods that was next to the library.

"You did NOT just do that." Antonio said, eyes not leaving the forest.

He steps back, still facing Antonio as he goes to his car. "No hard feelings Antonio; payback is a bitch." he says trying to keep a straight face.

He watched in shock as his chem partner leaves in his Beemer. He's pissed of because now he has to find his keys or have Gilbert pick him up.

He was also amused because Lovino Vargas bested him at his own game.

"Yea." he says to him even though hes probably miles away and can't hear him. "Payback is a bitch." Carajo!

–

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAH theres that chapter now! Hope you enjoyed! Again, please check out my fic "The Lonely" I worked hard on it ;A;**

**Reviews always welcomed~**


	9. The last straw

** Yep yep yep another chapter ;) This coulda been uploaded sooner but my dad was drunk -.- (though my inspiration had long gone away ;A; i'm still doin this though cuz you guys keep reviewing n stuff -even though the last chapter didnt get as many reviews ;A;- also there is something I really want to do in a much later chapter) which reminds me. This chapter will contain some sexual content (Lovi gets to 1st base :D) also, in that later chapter I mentioned, there will be a lemon :D so once I get there i'm change the rating to M, just a heads up.**

**Now onto le story~**

–

It was a normal morning for the Italian twins. Well, the closest to normal it can get. Their grandfather lied in his bed upstairs hungover from the previous night so they tried to not make any noise, lest they get an earful from him.

Lovino was sitting at the table mindlessly going through his phone while Feliciano was in the kitchen making them breakfast. When he came back to pour drinks, he sat down and suddenly blurted out "Me and Ludwig had sex."

Lovino had been in the middle of drinking his orange juice when he choked and majority spewed out of his mouth. He started having a coughing fit, heaving from the sudden intake of orange liquid into his windpipe. Feliciano quickly stood up and ran to him, hitting his back. "Fratello! A-are you okay? I-I-"

"What-" he said between coughing fits. "What the hell Feli! Who the hell does that rapist potato think he is that he can just go and defile my twin, I swear I'm going to-" he stood up and Feliciano grabbed his sleeve.

"No Fratello! He didn't force me I told him I wanted-"

"GAH! Spare me the details, please!" he yelled covering his ears. Feliciano looked down fidgeting his hands. He looked ashamed. Sighing, Lovino sat back down and looked at his brother.

"Sorry...about that Feli..." he tried a smile.

"Ve...so your not mad at me?" he asked shyly. Lovino shook his head though he was mentally murdering the German over and over.

As much as he hated to, he needed to know. "So...erm...how did...you know you guys..." he stammered, his face turning red.

Feliciano smiled happily. "Ve~ We didn't plan it or anything..it just...happened." he blushed. " His brother was out of the house for a few hours and the house was empty, so one thing ted to another..." he trailed off, fondly remembering the experience.

Lovino sighed heavily and buried his face into his hands. How was it that his brother who had been dating this German for short period of time willingly...did _that_ with him, yet he himself couldn't allow himself to do such things with his girlfriend of 3 _years_.

"You have to be willing to be vulnerable in front of someone you love..." Feliciano said, staring into space.

"What?" Lovino asked.

"When we...you know...it was embarrassing actually...Since it was both of our first times we weren't sure of what to do..." He laughed a little. "He kept hesitating and asking questions while I just couldn't stop giggling. But thats whats so special about it." he smiled at his brother. "When you love someone so much, you don't have to worry about making mistakes with that person. Knowing they would love you all the same despite how inexperienced you were.."

"Feli.." Lovino was stunned at how wise his brother sounded.

"Oh! The food!" Feliciano got back up to continue with breakfast while Lovino just sat there, thinking over what he just told him.

Could he really be that open with Femke? Could he be so vulnerable? He couldn't see himself being so carefree with her, he could barely be real with her on a daily basis. Did that mean he didn't love her as much as he had originally thought?

Feliciano came back with their breakfast and began eating, while Lovino just stared at it, suddenly not so hungry.

–

Antonio took in a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air. He was in his small backyard, picking tomatoes. His favorite hobby, if thats what you would call it. He went around, picking only the best, the roundest, the most red and ripe. Luckily the weather had been fairly decent enough for growing his favorite fruit. As he picked and inspected the tomatoes, his mother sat on a lawn chair enjoying the September breeze. Its these times that Antonio truly felt at ease. As though he wasn't part of a gang, like he wasn't one of the most feared guys at school, like there wasn't an Italian that had plagued his mind every moment of the day. He held his basket full of tomatoes and took them inside, ready to wash them so they would be ready to use for food. As washed them in the sink, he looked out the window, staring at the sky that seemed so endless. His mother lying there with a smile on her face, full of content.

Yup. He can get used to this.

–

"Fratello, where are you going?" Feliciano watched as his brother fixed his hair and kept checking his outfit.

"Femke and I are going to a party today." He said not really paying attention to his brother. He was busy trying to tame the blasted curl that just seemed determined to stay suspended in the air, defying laws of gravity.

Once he was ready, he picked up Femke and they were already at the party. They held hands as they went in.

"I can't believe we're coming here after 3 years. Remember when we became the golden couple?" Femke asked.

"_Still_ the golden couple." Lovino smiled, squeezing her hand.

They had met and started dating at a annual party their friend threw freshmen year. It was because of a game of spin the bottle they dated.

"I still remember how everyone was that day..." Femke recalled. Lovino chuckled.

"Yea. We really impressed the freshmen back then." he gloated. "Hell, even the seniors were impressed with our kiss." Back then things weren't as stressful as it was now. Then again, he didn't have a certain gang member constantly telling him to be real.

Once they were in they were immediately greeted by people from school. They all spoke for a bit before gathering for a game of "Would you rather".

"Ok Femke." Started a girl with a ribbon in her hair. "Would you rather kiss a pug, or bulldog."

She made a disgusted face. "Definitely the pug." she said shaking her head. Everyone including Lovino simply laughed at the absurdity of the game. Were they so bored? He started drinking his can of beer when a girl with long blonde hair and white bow on top smirked.

"So, Lovino. Who would you rather kiss? Femke? or..." she paused as everyone looked at her questioningly. "Antonio Carriedo." she said finally with a glint in her eye.

Lovino almost choked on his drink (much like that morning) as the question sunk in his brain. "W-What?" he asked panicked.

"Its a simple question." she said innocently. Femke began giving him an odd look.

"Well I ah...er..." He stuttered, unsure of what to say.

"Shit Lovi. Way to show how much you care." Femke stormed out of the room. Lovino looked around, turning red as several people already started talking about his hesitation. He left the room and followed his girlfriend.

"Wait! Femke!" he called, grabbing her hand. "Listen to me I can explain.." he started.

"Explain? Explain why you fucking hesitated?" She fumed. "You made a fool of me back there!"

"Yea well, I'm not very happy with her right now."

She gave a short laugh. "Don't you get it? Its not Natalia's fault."

"You think its mine? As if I asked to have Antonio as a partner." he snapped.

She goes up to him. "You didn't protest to much."

"You want to fight, Femke?"

"Maybe I do. You don't even know how to be a boyfriend!"

"How can you say that? Who took you to the hospital when you broke your leg? Who visited you when you were seriously ill?"

He got driving lessons against his will. He passed out in Antonio's arms, but he didn't know what he was doing. He hadn't doe anything with Antonio. He was innocent. Even if I had some thoughts that weren't.

"That was last year." She then grabbed his hand "I want you to show me how much you care. Now." and led him upstairs into a vacant room. She closed the door and stared at him.

"Femke what are you-" he was cut off by her kissing him hungrily. He was caught off guard and fell back onto the bed. He shoved her off and she growled.

"Ever since school started you've been acting like a total prude."

"I don't want to base our relationship on sex. Its like we never talk anymore."

"So talk." she said as she unbuttoned his shirt and began rubbing her hands on his chest, feeling his slight muscularity.

"You go first. You say something then I'll say something." Lovino said quickly.

"Thats the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. I don't have anything to say Lovino. If you have something on your mind say it." She said.

He took a deep breath. Chastising himself for feeling more comfortable with Antonio than here in bed with Femke. He can't let their relationship end now. His grandfather would freak. His friends would freak. The solar system would go out of alignment. Femke flips them so he is on top of her. He can't let their relationship end because he was scared of sex. She was, after all, a virgin too. Shes waiting for him to have their first time together. Their friend's had done it already; maybe hes being silly about the situation. Maybe his interest in Antonio was an excuse to avoid doing it with Femke. His mind was swimming but he just went ahead and followed what his body told him to, despite the pain his heart felt. She started grinding against him, continuing to ravage his mouth for all it was worth. He froze as he saw in the corner, a picture of Femke and Natalia at the beach from the summer, but with her is some guy who held her close, arms wrapped around her waist.

He points to it. "Who is that?"

"Just some guy from the Netherlands we met at the beach in Belgium." she said leaning back looking at the picture.

"Whats his name?" he asked uneasy.

"I don't know. Like Eberrich or something to that effect."

"You look like a couple." he glared.

"Don't be ridiculous. Come here." she said, straddling him, blocking his view of the picture. "Your the one I want now." lust laced into her voice.

Before he could analyze what she meant, she eased down her dress and bra and has his hands on her. He tries to get in the mood and does what first came to mind. She moans as his hands roam her body but he just can't get into it. It feels robotic. And orchestrated. She grows tired of his timid touches and goes to unzip his pants.

"Come on Lovi, lets try something new~"

Then the door bursts open, and there stands Natalia and her brother Ivan. Natalia gasps in horror with a hint of murder while Ivan just smiled his creepy smile.

"What the hell? Haven't you heard of knocking?" Femke nearly screamed quickly covering herself with her dress. Lovino quickly stood up, zipping his pants and buttoning back his shirt.

"You forget this is my sister's room, da?" he says clearly amused by this situation.

Natalia crosses her arms. "Tell me Femke, are those real?" she asks.

"Fuck off!" she crossed her arms.

"Don't flatter yourself. My older sister's is bigger." she laughed.

Lovino quickly leaves the room embarrassed. Femke calls for him but doesn't move.

He felt like disappearing.

–

**PFFFT FAIL ENDING IS FAIL WHATEVER IS 5:17AM NAOW LOLOL IM TIRED R&R PLEASE AND THANK YOU.**


	10. Worlds Collide

** Welp heres another chapter guys~ thank you for the reviews :D especially a certain anon. (Y U ANON?) I will try to take your advise ^^ just note: I'm not much of a writer. I'm more of a film editor XD But as a response (SINCE YOUR ANON) That whole "your" "you're" thing always confuses the crap out of me DX I always try to remember but then I feel to lazy -shrug- BUT I will try to change that :) And with my dialogue, I do always try to avoid repetitiveness D: I guess it just sneaks up on me...(especially since nowadays I been writing this so late in the night when i'm just "aaah fuck it i'll half-ass it") same goes for the tenses. Its little things like that I even find myself constantly doing but again I'm _lazy_ as hell. But I will try to fix it ^^; and unfortunetly, the reason why I characterized Femke like that is for the sake of having an antagonist in Lovino's life. I know its really OOC of her, but then again I also made Spain kinda OOC for this story. The reason I even chose Femke is because she was the only female character I could imagine Lovino being with if he were straight. And their status is like a perfect richy rich kind of thing so it only made sense (to me) to make her stuck-up. But thanks for the tips all the same! :)**

**Sorry to everyone else for the long-ass A/N. Here we go~**

–

At one thirty in the morning Lovino is staring at his cell phone in his bedroom. Femke has called him thirty-six times and left ten messages. Since he had called Feliciano to pick him up at the party, he had ignored her. Mainly because he needed to let his anger deflate. He was mortified that Ivan and Natalia had seen them half-dressed. In the time it took him to go outside and wait for his brother, he had already seen and heard people whispering about his show in Natalia's bedroom. He didn't want to blow up the way he always does, and he was about to lose it on Ivan. Femke and Natalia back at Ivan's house. By Femke's thirty-ninth call, his heart rate is as slow as it was going to get tonight.

He finally answers it. "Stop fucking calling me." he all but yells.

"I'll stop calling when you listen to what I have to say." Femke says on the other end of the line, frustration laced into his voice.

"So talk. I'm listening." he sighs angrily.

He hears her take a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Lovi. I'm sorry I didn't lock the door tonight. I'm sorry for wanting to have sex. I'm sorry one of my best friends thinks shes funny when shes not. I'm sorry I can't stand watching you and Carriedo in Honda's class. I'm sorry I changed this summer."

He doesn't know what to say. She has changed. Has he? Or was he the same person who she said good-bye to before she left for the summer? He doesn't know. There's one thing he did know though. "Femke, I don't want to fight anymore."

"Me, neither. Can you just try to forget tonight ever happened? I promise I'll make it up to you." she pleaded.

As much as he was still irritated, he couldn't stay mad at her for long. He tried a smile but then remembered she can't see him. "Yea. I'll forget."

"Great. Hey, remember that bracelet I got you for our anniversary?" she reminded him.

He wasn't all that into jewelery but since it had been from her, he charished it. "Yea I remember."

"I'll buy you a nice watch to go along with it."

When he looks at the bracelet, he remembers her kindness, the meaning behind it. The watch would just remind him of her apology and that would remind him of tonight.

Sighing he sat up in bed. "Femke, I don't want the watch."

"Then what do you want? Tell me."

It takes him a while to answer. He wasn't really into receiving gifts, he was more of a giver more than anything. But she had felt the need to be the giver for some odd reason, so he could have written a one hundred page essay on what he wanted about six months ago. But ever since school started, everything has turned around. "Right now I don't know what I want." he feels bad for saying it, but its the truth.

"Well, when you figure it out will you clue me in?"

"Yea," _if_ he figures it out himself.

–

On Monday, Antonio's knee is shaking in anticipation as he sits in chemistry waiting for Lovino.

He walks into class.

"Hey." Antonio smiles.

"Hey." he mumbles back. No smile, no blushing angrily. Not even a scowl. Something was defininetly wrong with him.

"Okay class." Mr. Honda says. "Get out your pencils. Lets see how well you've been studying.

While he silently curse Mr. Honda for not having a lab day with experiments so they could talk, he glances over at his partner. He looks totally unprepared. Feeling protective even though he has no right, he raises his hand.

"I'm afraid to call on you, Toni." Mr. Honda sighs wearily, staring down at him.

"Its a small question."

"Go ahead. Make it quick."

"This is an open book test, right?"

The teacher glares at him over his glasses. "No Antonio, this is not an open book test. And if you didn't study, your going to get yourself a big, fat F. Understand?"

He drops his books with a loud thud onto the floor in response. After Mr. Honda passes the out the test, he read the first question._ The density of Al (aluminum) is 2.7 grams per millimeter. What volume will 10.5 grams occupy?_

After he works out his answer, he looks over at Lovino. He's staring blankly at the test.

Catching him watching him, he sneers. "What?"

"Nothin'. Nada"

"Then stop staring at me, bastard."

Mr. Honda is staring right at them. He takes a deep breath trying to calm himself. He goes back to work on the test. Does Lovino have to do that, get all hot-and-cold without warning? What sets him off?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees his chem partner grab the bathroom pass off the hook by the classroom door. Back in class, Lovino lays his head on the lab table as he scribbles answers. Once glance and he knows he's not into it, the guy is doing a half-ass job. And when Mr. Honda orders everyone to hand in their papers, his chem parter has a blank stare on his face.

"If it makes you feel better any better." he says quietly so only Lovino can hear. "I flunked health class in eighth grade for puttin' a lit cigarette in the dummy's mouth."

Without looking up he grumbles. "Good for you."

The bell rings, signaling the end of class. He watches Lovino's curl bouncing less than usual as he shuffles out of class, surprisingly not accompanied by his girlfriend. He wonders if he thinks everything is supposed to land in his lap, even good grades. He has to work for everything he has. Nothing lands in his lap.

"Hiya, Toni." Rosa is standing in front of his locker. Okay, so some things do land in his lap.

"Que pasa?"

His ex-girlfriend leans toward him, the deep V of her shirt extra low-cut. "A bunch of us are going to hang out at the beach after school. Wanna come?"

"I've got work." He tells her. "Maybe I'll catch up with ya later." He thinks about 2 weekends ago. Getting drunk to drown his busted ego was a dumb idea. He wanted to be with Lovino, to hang out with him not only to study but find out more about him. Lovino blew him off, Rosa didn't. The memory is a hazy one, but he remembers Rosa in the lake, wrapping her body around him. And sitting on top of him by the fire as they smoked something much stronger than a Marlboro. In his inebriated and stoned ego-busted state, any girl would have felt good to him.

Rosa was there, willing, and he owed her an apology because even she was offering, he shouldn't have nibbled at the bait. He'll have to catch up with her and explain his dumbass behavior.

After school, there's a crowd around his motorcycle. Shit, if anything happened to his ride he is going to kick someone's ass. He doesn't have to push through the crowd because a path opens up when he gets close.

All eyes are on him as he witnesses the vandalism to his motorcycle. They're expecting him to be in rage. After all, who would dare attach a pink tricycle horn to the handlebars and tape sparkling streamers from the ends of the handles? Nobody can get away with this shit.

Except Lovino.

He scans the area, but he's not around.

"I didn't do it." Carlos is quick to say.

Everyone else murmurs they didn't do it, either. Then murmurs of who it could be race through the crowd. He's not listening, because he knew all to well who the culprit is. It's his chem partner, the one who ignored him today.

He yanks off the streamers with a jerk of his hand, then unscrew the pink rubber horn. Pink. He wonders if it was his once upon a time.

"Get out of my way." he tells the crowd. They disperse pretty quick, thinking his rage level is high and they don't want to be caught in the crossfire. Sometimes playing the part of a badass does have its advantages. The truth? He'll use the pink horn and streamers as an excuse to talk to Lovino again.

Knocking on the Vargases' door ten minutes later with the pink horn and streamers in hand, he tries to put on the I-am-the-motherfucking-boss pose.

When Lovino opens the door wearing a baggy T-shirt and shorts, he is floored.

His dark eyes open wide. "Antonio, what are you doing here?"

He holds out the horn and streamers.

He snatches then from his hand. "I can't believe you came here because of a prank."

"We've got some things to discuss. Besides pranks."

He swallows nervously. "I'm not feeling great, okay? Lets just talk at school." he tries to close the door.

Shit, he can't believe he was going to do this like a stalker guy in the movies. He push open the door. Que mierda!

"Antonio, don't"

"Let me in. For a minute. Please."

He shakes his head, his bangs swaying back and forth across his face. "My grandfather doesn't like when I have people over."

"is he home?"

"No." he sighs, then opens the door hesitantly.

He steps inside. The house is even bigger than it looks from the outside. The walls are painted bright white, reminding him of a hospital. He swears dust wouldn't have the nerve to land on their floors or counters. The two-story foyer boasts a staircase that rivals the one that he saw in _The Sound of Music,_ which he was forced to watch in junior high, and the floor is as shiny as water.

Lovino was right. He doesn't belong here. It doesn't matter, because even if he didn't belong in this place, Lovino is here and he wants to be where he is.

"Well what did youwant to talk about?" he asks.

He wish his long, lean legs weren't sticking out from his shorts. They're a distraction. He looks away from them, desperate to keep his wits. So what if he had sexy legs? So what if he can take a prank like a man and give it right back?

Who is he kidding? He has no reason for being here other than the fact he wants to be near him. Screw the bet.

He wants to know how to make this guy laugh. He wants to know what makes him cry. He wants to know what it feels to have him look at him as if he was his knight in shining armor.

"Vee~ Luddy, are you ok? Fratello!" distant voices echoes through the house, breaking the silence.

"Son of a bitch. Wait here." Lovino orders, then hurries down a hallway to the right. "I'll be right back."

He was not about to stand there like a jackass in the foyer. He followed him, knowing he was about to get a glimpse into his private world.

–

**AHAAHHHH there goes that chapter now. Hopefully it looks a little better than some of the other chapters (I doubt it but whatever. I'm more into visual arts _) again I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please R&R **


	11. Whats your place in this world?

** Haha heres an update just for you guys~ reason why I haven't updated is because I started summer school Monday and my parents take my laptop during the week. Luckily since I have 4th of July off, I was able to get it back today. :D but it will be like this for 3 weeks. I will however try and update during the weekends.**

**ALSO, I neglected to put this in here but in this story: Gilbert is a senior like Antonio and the others however, he is older than they are. Like 20. Mainly because I made so that he failed a grade or two. _Cuz he's a badass like that._**

–

_That damn tomato bastard doesn't listen, does he?_

Lovino grumbled as he went up the stairs to find his brother with Antonio in tow. He stopped mid-step and scowled at the Spaniard. "You don't listen well, do you?"

He stands there grinning as though saying _'I'm a gang member, what did you expect?'_

"I have to check on my stupid Fratello and his.." he stopped himself from letting his brother's sexuality slip. "_Friend..._Do you mind?"

"Nope. It'll give me a chance to meet 'em. Trust me." he winked.

Lovino rolled his eyes. He should just kick him out, leather jacket and all. He should, but he doesn't. Without another word, he leads him up the stairs where his brother was. He knocked once before grabbing the handle and pushing through calling out.

"Okay Feliciano whats the big idea-" he cut himself off as he saw his brother's German boyfriend quickly jump off the bed where Feliciano quickly tried fixing his disheveled hair and clothes. The German's hair was also a little messy, bangs sprawled across his forehead. Unusual compared to his normally combed back hairstyle.

"O-Oh Fratello, what brings you up here?" he asked, buttoning his shirt back up.

It took Lovino a moment to register what had just happened, and when he did, he was burning red. "You called me up here, bastardo! What the hell is wrong with you! You have no idea how lucky you are that Grandpa Roma isn't here otherwise-"

"Ludwig?" Antonio stated more than asked, cutting Lovino off.

Ludwig stood there red in the face. He looked away, not meeting the Spaniard's eyes. "A-Antonio.." he simply said. The Italian brothers looked at each other for a moment before looking at Ludwig then Antonio.

"You guys _know_ each other?" they both said. There was another awkward silence

"J-Ja..."

"Si."

Ludwig cleared his throat. "You see, Antonio here is my older brother's best friend. He has known him for a long time now so..." he coughed. "Naturally, we would know each other.." he trailed off. Everyone's attention then when to the Spaniard.

He stood there, staring at the ground awkwardly. "Ah...Si..." was all he managed to say.

Feliciano looked around and smiled his cheery smile, completely oblivious to the awkward atmosphere. He got up and grabbed Ludwig's hand. "Ah, well it was great meeting you, Antonio. But me and Ludwig have to be somewhere soon." he ve'd, pulling his lover out the room.

Just before leaving the room, Ludwig finally looked at Antonio with a pleading look. "Please...Don't tell bruder..."

After a moment, Antonio smiled cheerily and messed with the German's hair. "No problema."

"Danke.." then he left the room.

After they heard the door slam close, Lovino looked at Antonio suspiciously. "Don't think about it bastardo."

Antonio's cheery expression faded into a puzzled one. "Que?"

"Don't play dumb with me." he growled. "I know your going to try to spread nasty rumors about my brother. Well, over my dead body!"

Antonio stared at him for a moment then began laughing. Lovino just stood there glaring at the laughing man. "Whats so damn funny?"

"You are Lovi~" Antonio continued laughing. Lovino's glare softened as he continued to laugh. This was one of the few moments where Antonio let down his mask, allowing Lovino to see the true him. Even after he was done laughing, Lovino still watched him. Antonio calmed down and smiled cheerily. "I would never do that. Doing that would be doing injustice to Ludwig as well. Despite him living in the south side, he's managed to stay on the good side with the north siders. He's worked hard to keep his reputation up, despite Gilbert's awful antics." He put a hand on Lovino's shoulder. "Besides, Feliciano seems like a nice kid. You should learn from him."

Lovino stiffened at those words, he looked down and let out a bitter laugh. "you think so to, huh." Antonio seemed to realize his mistake and frowned.

"Hey, I was just kiddin' ya know Lovi." He refused to look at the Spaniard. "Lovino.." He still stared at the ground suddenly finding it to be the most interesting thing in the world. Antonio put his other hand on Lovino's other shoulder and forced him to face him. His eyes widened at the sight of tears threatening to fall from Lovino's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean that. You are your own person, you're unique and I like you better the way you are now. There is not a thing about you that should change." He said quickly.

Lovino's heart skipped a beat, he felt himself being absorbed into Antonio's emerald eyes. He trembled slightly realizing how close Antonio's face was to his. He swallowed hard. "Do..Do you mean that...?" he couldn't stop the shake in his voice.

Antonio placed his hand on the Italian's cheek and looked deeply into his eyes. "Si, eres perfecto..."

Lovino closed his eyes and started leaning in on instinct, as did Antonio. Lovino's heart pounded the entire time, he was so close to Antonio. So close...

A loud buzzing noise forced them back into reality, their eyes widening seeing that they were an inch away from each other's face. Lovino turned and red and Antonio looked away quickly, pink dusting his cheeks. Lovino realized it was his phone and he checked it. He got a text from his grandfather letting him know he was on his way back.

–

Antonio waited for the heat to leave his face as he tried figuring out what had just happened. He accidentally offended Lovino. Then tried telling him he didn't mean it. Leading to them looking at each other then...

"You should leave." His head snapped to attention and he looked at the Italian.

"Why..." was he kicking him out for what almost happened?

"My grandfather is on his way." Lovino avoid his gaze. After a moment, Antonio stood up about to leave.

"Tomorrow."

"What?" Lovino looked up.

"Tomorrow. At my house." He smiled. "To study."

"On the south side?" Lovino felt worried.

"You can get a glimpse of my life. You game?"

He swallows. "Sure."

Smiling happily, Antonio waves and heads out of the room. He runs down the stairs and leaves the house, getting on his motorcycle. Just as he pulls out of the drive-way and goes down the street, he can see a car pulling in at Lovino's house. Guess he left just in time. Unable to wipe the smile on his face, he happily thought about the next day. How long had it been since he was so...excited. He wasn't sure, but he also didn't care. All that mattered was that he was going to see Lovino again.

After school, Antonio was walking outside when he heard someone shouting his name. He turned around to find Lovino holding up his test that Mr. Honda gave back.

"Hola, Lovino."

"Why did you do it?" he asked, out of breath.

"I don't know what your talking about."

"You switched our tests!" he exclaimed.

True. He did. He saw how poorly Lovino did on it, so to give him some slack, he switched their tests so then he had an A whereas Antonio got a F.

"Its no big deal." Antonio shrugged.

"Yes it is!"

"No its not, now drop it!" Antonio gets on his motorcycle, starting it up.

"Antonio, wait!"

"Hop on." he orders.

"What?"

"Hop on." he repeated. "If you want to pay me back for saving your ass in Mr. H's class, come home with me. I wasn't kiddin' yesterday. You showed me a glimpse into your life, I'm gonna show you a glimpse of mine. Its only fair, right?"

He saw how Lovino scanned the parking lot. Worry written all over his face. "Don't be afraid of what they think." he told him. Lovino nodded and straddled the motorcycle. "Hold on tight." he says as he pulls Lovino's hands around his waist. He deliberately brushes the tips of his fingers over Lovino's before reaching for the handlebars.

As they sped away from the school parking lot, Lovino grabbed Antonio's rock-hard abs tighter. Antonio smirked. Lovino was afraid of the speed they were going. They stop at a red light and he feels Lovino relax. But once the light turned green, he held on tightly again and buried his face into his back. Once they stop, Antonio sees Lovino surveying the area, an odd look on his face.

"This was a mistake." He sighs. "I'll take you home."

"Why?"

"The look of disgust on your face."

"I'm not disgusted. I guess I feel sorry-"

"Don't ever pity me." he warns. "I'm poor, not homeless."

"Then are you going to invite me in?"

His lips quirked into a grin.

"Just follow me and don't stare at the neighbors, even if they stare at you."

He felt weary as he led the north sider into his home. "Well, this is it."

Lovino walked around the house, gliding his fongers over the furniture. He quickly noticed his attention being turned to a shelf with half-melted candles that sat below a picture of a man. He stands behind Lovino as he gazed at it. "Your dad?" he asked.

Antonio nods. Lovino looked down but then began observing the picture further. Antonio had to tear his eyes away from the picture. He hated looking at it. Lovino started smoothing down his hair, messing with the curl with an irritated look.

"Your always doin' that." Antonio pointed out.

"Doing what?"

"Messing with that curl of yours."

"Its annoying as shit. It never wants to go down."

"I think its fine." he shrugged.

"Well I don't." he quickly put his hands at his sides.

"Is it so important that people think you're beautiful?"

"I don't care what people think." he knew he was lying.

"'Cause you are...beautiful, I mean. But it shouldn't matter so much."

They were silent for a moment.

"Wheres your bedroom?" Lovino asked.

Antonio led him to where he slept. It was a small room, and much to Antonio's annoyance, Lovino seemed surprised to find it with just a bed and a dresser.

"your bed says a lot about you." He sits on it, his eyes still wandering.

"Yea? What does it say?"

"I wonder why you don't think you'll stay here long." he says. "Unless it's because you really do want to go to college."

Antonio leans on the door frame. "I'm not leavin' Fairfield. Ever. Now are you done with the psychoanalysis?"

He goes back into the living room with Lovino behind him. For the next two hours, they sit on the family room couch and hatch a plan for their hand warmers. Antonio has a lot of ideas of how they can get information from the library on how to construct the hand warmers and various uses for them to incorporate into their paper. They need chemicals Mr. Honda will provide, Ziploc bags to enclose the chemicals, and to get extra brownie points they've decided to encase the Ziploc bags in material they'll pick out at the fabric store. He noticed how Lovino kept the discussion on chemistry, and he was glad.

As Lovino closed his chemistry book, Antonio ran his fingers through his hair. Listen, I didn't mean to be rude to you before."

"Thats okay. I got to nosy."

"Your right."

Lovino stood but Antonio grabbed his arm and urged him to sit back down.

"No." he says. "I mean you're right about me. I don't place anything permanent here."

"Why?"

"My dad." Antonio stares at the picture on the opposite wall. He squeezes his eyes shut. "God there was so much blood." He opens his eyes and captures Lovino's gaze. "If there's one thing I learned, its that nobody is here forever. You have to live for the moment, each and every day...the here, the now."

"And what do you want to do right now?" Lovino gazes to him longingly. Antonio touches his cheek and he feels Lovino's breath hitch. "Do you...want...to kiss me, Antonio?" he whispers.

"Dios mio, I want to kiss you...to taste your lips, your tongue." He gently traced Lovino's lips with the tips of his fingers. "Do you want me to kiss you? Nobody else would know but the two of us."

Lovino's tongue snakes out to wet his perfect lips, which are now shiny and oh, so inviting.

"Don't tease me like that." he groans, his lips inches from the others. Lovino's books hit the carpet. His amber eyes follow but his fingers are quick to move under his chin, gently urging him to look at him.

He looks up at him with vulnerable eyes. "What if it means something?" he asks.

"What if it does?"

"Promise it won't mean anything."

He leans his head back on the couch. "It won't mean anythin'." Wasn't he suppose to be laying down the no commitment rules?

"And no tongue." he adds.

"Mi vida, if I kiss you, I guarantee theres gonna be tongue."

He hesitates.

"I promise it won't mean anythin'." he assures him again.

He really doesn't expect him to do it. He thinks he's teasing him, testing to see how much he can take before he cracks. But as his eyelids close and he leans closer, like the day before, he realizes its going to happen. This _boy_ of his dreams, this _boy_ who is more like him than anyone he has ever met, wants to kiss him.

He takes over control as soon as he tilts his head. Their lips touch for the briefest moment before he laces his fingers in his hair and keep kissing him soft and gentle. He feels an electric sensation overwhelm him. A feeling he never had when kissing girls. He cups his cheek in his palm, feeling his baby soft skin against his rough fingers. His body urges him to take advantage of the situation, but his brain keeps him in check.

A satisfied sigh escapes Lovino's mouth, as if he's content to stay in his arms forever.

He brushes the tip of his tongue against his lips, enticing him to allow him access. He tentatively meets his tongue with his own. Their mouths and tongues mingle in a slow, erotic dance until the sound of the front door opening makes him jerk away.

_Shit.._

–

**OOOOOH Cliffhanger :D -gets tomatoes thrown at her- welp I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. And in case I don't update again today, have a good 4****th**** of July!** (**HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!)**

**R&R POR FAVOR**


	12. Its over

** I updated this despite the fact i'm exhausted from summer school and it being so friggin hot in the house. I was about to not update buuuuuuut I love you guys :3 and you seem to like this story; so I just sucked up my stress and made this chapter ^^ may not be as good but HEY atleast it'll get you guy off the cliffie right? Right...**

**well here ya go~**

–

First, Lovino was pissed off. He was pissed that he lost himself in Antonio's kiss. He was also was pissed off because he wanted that moment to last forever. But that anger soon turned to nervousness when he saw a woman in uniform (one you see on someone that worked at the grocery store) standing in the door way; and she didn't seem thrilled to see her son making out with another boy. He quickly made himself look busy by bending down and picking up his books. He could feel the woman's eyes burning on him.

"Hey, Ma." Antonio quickly greets her, more flustered than he probably wanted.

She was silent for a moment. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your..._friend_, Antonio?"

Lovino quickly stood, books in hand. "Hi, I'm Lovino." He kept his voice steady and attempted a smile, which seemed way more nervous than he would have liked. He extends his hand in greeting. "Antonio and I were, ah, studying chemistry."

"What I saw wasn't studying." She ignores his hand, glaring. Lovino winces.

If looks could kill, Lovino would have been killed over a thousand times.

"Mama, leave him alone." Antonio says roughly.

"My home is not a gay bar."

It was Antonio's turn to wince. "Por favor, Mama." he pleads. "We were only...kissin'."

The look on the woman's face shows she was not impressed.

"Lets get out of here." Antonio whips his jacket off the couch and shrugging into it.

"I'm sorry if I disrespected you in any way, Mrs. Carriedo." Lovino apologizes feeling guilty. He never gives a rats ass if he offends people but when it came to authoritative figures such as teachers or in this case, Antonio's mom, he felt compelled to address them with as much respect and politeness as possible. When they get outside, Lovino takes a deep breath, holding himself together by a thin thread.

"Don't sweat it. She's just not used to me bringin'...guys..in the house.." he hesitated slightly which didn't help Lovino at all.

"That should't have happened." his eyes turn cold and remote.

"What? The kiss or you likin' it so much?"

"I have a girlfriend." he fidgets with the strap on his book bag.

"Your tryin' to convince me, or yourself?"

"Don't turn this around. I don't want to upset the few friends I have. I don't want to upset my grandfather. And Femke...I'm just really confused right now."

Antonio holds out his hands and raises his voice. "I don't get it. She treats you like shit."

"You don't even know what its like with me and Femke..."

"Tell me, dammit." Antonio seemed to hesitate for a moment with what he was going to say but continued. "'Cause that kiss back there...it meant somethin'. You know it as well as I do. I dare you to tell me bein' with Femke is better than that."

Lovino looks away hastily. "You wouldn't understand." his voice was so quiet he thought Antonio didn't hear.

"Try me."

"When people see Femke and me together, they say how perfect we are. You know, the Golden Couple. Get it?"

He is staring at Lovino with a look of what appeared to be disbelief. "I get it. I just can't believe I'm hearin' it. Does bein' perfect mean that much to you?"

There was a long brittle silence. He felt his chest tighten, a sudden flash of sadness overtaking him, but he willed it away and scowls.

"I haven't been doing a very good job at it lately, but yes. It does." He finally admits. "My brother is perfect, so I have to be as well."

Antonio shakes his head in disgust and points to his motorcycle. "Get on and I'll take you back to the school to get your car."

Silently, Lovino straddles the motorcycle. He holds himself so far from Antonio he can barely feel him behind him.

He was going to forget that kiss with Antonio happened even though he was up all night replaying it in his head, remembering the way his hand felt against his cheek, how his hair felt underneath his hands...

The next day at school, they are in chemistry. Antonio his swirling some liquids in a test tube while Lovino took notes of their observations. They were full of silver nitrate and potassium chloride liquids. The entire time the Spaniard's hands are busy with the chemicals, Lovino keeps thinking back at how just the day before they were tracing his lips intimately.

"Hey Mr. H.! I think we found the answer to our problems for the ozone depletion." Antonio teased.

Mr. Honda shakes his head.

As he hands the tube to Lovino, their fingers brush against each other and linger. It leaves a tingling sensation he can't ignore. He glances up and their eyes meet, for a minute he thinks Antonio is sending him a subliminal message but his expression turns dark and he looks away.

"What do you want me to do?" he whispers.

"You're gonna have to figure that one out yourself."

"Antonio..."

But he won't tell him what to do. He sighs wearily. When he is close to Antonio, he feels excitement, the way he used to feel on Christmas morning. As much as he tried to ignore it, he looks over at Femke and know...He knows their relationship isn't what it used to be. It's over. And the sooner he breaks it off with her, the sooner he can stop wondering they continue with this facade.

He meets Femke after school by the back door to the school. She's dressed for cheerleading practice. Unfortunately, Natalia is standing next to her.

She holds up her cell. "You two want to do a repeat performance of the other night? I'm sure many people online would love to see it. It could go viral~" she said in a way that resembled much of her brother Ivan.

"Natalia...just..go away. I'll catch up with you." she whines and gives her a stare until she leaves. "Lovi, where were you last night?"

When he doesn't respond, Femkeshakes her head. "You can save your breath, 'cause I already have a clue." it wasn't in snobby way that he was used to. It seemed...

Sad.

This wasn't going to be easy. He spent so much time avoiding arguments and trying to smooth out relationships with the people around him, this confrontation is painful.

"You and I both know...this isn't working." he puts it as gently as he could.

Femke narrows her eyes at him. "What are you saying?"

"We need a break?"

"A break, or a breakup?" he heard her voice shake.

"Breakup." he whispers.

Her eyes widened and she took a stuttering breath. "It's because of Carriedo, isn't it?"

"Since you came back from summer break, our entire relationship has changed. We never talk anymore, and I'm sick of feeling guilty for not doing what you _expect_ me in order to prove it."

"You don't want to prove _anything_ to me." her voice was so quiet and full of hurt.

He lowers his voice so no one else can hear. "Why would you want me to? Just the fact that you need me to prove I love you is probably clue it isn't working."

"Don't do this." she throws her head back and moans. "_Please _don't do this."

They had fit the mold perfectly for years. Now they were going to be scrutinized for the breakup, with rumors going around them. Just the thought of it made his skin crawl. But he can't pretend anymore. It will probably haunt him.

He puts his hand on Femke's shoulder, trying not to focus on her watering eyes. She shrugs his hand off.

"Say something." he urged.

"What do you want me to say, Lovi? That i'm thrilled you're breaking up with me?" Her tears finally spilled, smudging her perfectly applied makeup.

She wipes her tears with her finger only for it to be replaced with more tears. It makes him want to cry as well, he could feel his eyes tear up. It's the end of something they thought was real but ended up being just another one of their roles they were thrust into. That's what makes him sad. Not the breakup, but what their relationship stood for...his weakness.

"I had sex with Eberrich." She blurts out. "This summer. You know, that guy in the picture."

"You're saying that to hurt me." he grumbles.

"I;m saying it because its the truth. Ask Natalia."

"Then why did you come back here and pretend we were still the Golden Couple?"

"Because that's what everyone expected. Even you. Don't deny it." she looked away, tears still falling.

Her words sting, but they were the truth. He was done playing the "perfect" boy and living by everyone else's rules, including his own.

Its time he got real.

–

**THEYRE YOU GUYS GO. I GO SLEEP FOR SUMMER SCHOOL NAOW. R&R MY LOVES**


	13. Paradise Gained

** SOOO guess what? I'm sick! (again :D) been puking at summer school and had to leave early (no biggie. Its not like im learning shit anyway BI who needs a diploma? PFFFT) so for most of the day I was put on bed rest and not allowed on my laptop (not that I was feeling up to it anyway..) heat exhaustion SUCKS. ALWAYS DRINK WATER KIDS. DONT BE LIKE ME. D:**

**But since you guys are awesome as ever, I ignored my illnessing shit and updated this. :3**

–

He saw Lovino run out of the school after that cheerleading chica of his. Before he left he saw them in an intimate conversation by the back field.

He picked her over him, which he really shouldn't be surprised. When he asked what he should do, he should have to him to dump that puta. The he would be happy instead of pissed off.

After school, Antonio hung out at the warehouse to see if he could get information about his dad. It was no use, though. The guys who knew his father back then didn't have much to say except he never stopped talking about his son. All conversation stopped when the Satin Hood sprayed the warehouse with gunfire, a sign they're out for revenge and won't stop until they get it. He wasn't sure if he should be grateful or concerned that the warehouse is in a secluded back lot behind the old railroad station. Nobody knows they're there, not even the cops. He was resistant to the popping of gunfire. In the warehouse, at the park, he expected it. Other streets were safe, but not this one. Rivals knew it was their sacred turf and they expect retaliation. On his side of town the circle of life was dependent on the circle of violence. Taking the long way home after it's all clear, he found himself driving past Lovino's house. He couldn't help it. As soon as he cross the tracks a cop car stops him and two uniformed guys step out.

Instead of informing him why he was being pulled over, one of them orders him off the motorcycle and asks him for his license. He hands it to him. "Why am I bein' pulled over."

The one that has his license examines it. "You can ask questions after I ask mine. You have any drugs in your possession, Antonio?"

"No, sir."

"Any weapons?"

He hesitated slightly before telling the truth. "Yes."

One cop takes the gun out of his holster and points it at his chest. The other one tells him to keep his hands up, then orders him to lie on the ground while he calls for backup.

He was busted, big time.

"What kind of weapon? Be specific."

He winces. "A Glock nine millimeter."

His answer makes the cop a little nervous and his trigger fingers shakes a bit. "Where is it?"

"On my left leg."

"Don't move. I'm going to disarm you. If you stay still, you won't get hurt."

After he removes the gun, the second cop puts on rubber gloves and says to him in an authoritative voice that was similar to that of the principal, Mr. Kirkland. "You have any needles on you, Antonio?"

"No sir."

He knees his back and handcuffs him. "Get up." he orders, hauling him to his feet and makes him lean over the hood of the car. He pats him down and shows him his gun.

"You can assume this is why we pulled you over."

"Antonio Carriedo, you have a right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law..."

The holding cell smells like piss and smoke. He couldn't wait to get out. Who was he going to call to bail him out? Gilbert doesn't have money, he knew Ludwig couldn't even if he tried. His mother would kill him if she ever found out he was arrested. He leaned his back against the iron bars of the cell., thinking, even though its close to impossible in this place.

Thank Dios its his first time being there, and hopefully his last.

"I've seen you around Fairfield High. I go there." A tall white guy around his age. The guy is wearing a red sweater that had a maple leaf on it and jeans. His long blonde hair reminded him of that dumb french guy in his chemistry class except he had a long strand of hair that curled in front of his face. He had on glasses and he honestly wouldn't have noticed him if he hadn't spoken.

"What are you in for?"

"Carryin' a concealed weapon." he quirked an eyebrow. What was this kid doing asking him as if it were a normal conversation.

"Knife or gun?"

He shoots him a glare. "Does it matter?"

"I'm just trying to make conversation..." he looked down fidgeting.

"What you in for?"

"My dad called the cops and told them I stole his car." he sighed wearily.

"Your dad put you in this hellhole? On purpose?"

"He confused me for my brother...he is the one that always does it but called them on me instead..." he played with his hair.

"What the hell? That don't even make sense..."

"Me and my brother look a lot alike...except he's older than me. And louder...and more muscular...and kinda an ass..." he rambled slightly. "Mom my will bail me out."

"You sure?"

He straightens. "She's a lawyer, and my dad's done this before a few times. Probably to piss her off to gain her attention. They're divorced."

Antonio shook his head.

"Carriedo, you can make your call now." The cop barks.

Sighing he goes and calls the one man he never wanted to ask favors from. He dials the number and it rings.

"Hola." a heavy accented voice answered.

"Julio...its Antonio...i got a favor I need from you por favor." He never asks Julio for favors. He was the head of the Latino Bloods. So asking for favors meant he could have anyone do whatever he wanted done. _Anything._

After he gets bailed out by Julio, he heads over to a small farm on the outskirts of town where he goes to work every now and then. He felt the need to forget some stresses so he went to go and do what he loved.

Pick tomatoes.

One of the guys from the Blood ran the farm and occasionally called him over to help grow and pick food. The pay wasn't much but it was better than the dirty money he was used to. He was in the back planting seeds and humming a Spanish tune when he heard a familiar voice.

"I'm looking for Antonio Carriedo. Is he here?"

"What do you want with Toni?"

"I need to talk to him." he heard the shake in his voice.

"He'll be better off if you leave him alone." the guy says.

"Esta bien." He goes over to them wiping his hands with a cloth. His eyes widen slightly at the sight of Lovino standing there. He looks up at him with a sudden flash of need.

"I'll leave you guys alone." he said going to the back to work on the rest of the crops.

Lovino froze there, seemingly unable to move. So he sauntered over to him.

"Um.." he starts. "I, uh, heard you got arrested. I had to see if you're okay..." he said looked down at his feet.

Antonio had to suppress a smile. "You ditched school to see if I was okay?" he nods and Antonio steps back. "Well, then. Now you've seen I'm okay, go back to school. I gotta, ya know, get back to work. My bike was impounded last night and I need to make money to get it back."

"Wait!" he yells. He looks at him for a moment and he looks back up at him, a look of determination in his eyes. "I don't know when or why I started falling for you, Antonio but I did. Ever since I almost ran over your motorcycle that first day of school I haven't been able to stop thinking about you or what it would be like if we got together. And that kiss...Dio , I swear I never thought I would feel something like I did with someone like you in my life. It _did_ mean something. If everything didn't go into chaos then, it never will. I know its pazzo because we're so different. And if anything happens between us I don't want anyone at the school know. I know you and your damn Spanish gang member pride won't allow you to agree to have a secret relationship with me, I mean, who would? But I atleast need to know if its possible. I broke up with Femke who I had a very public relationship with and I'm ready for something private. Private

e and real. I know I'm babbling like an idiota but if you don't fucking say something soon or give me a hint of what you're thinking then I'll-"

"Say it again." he interrupts.

"That whole drawn out speech?" he gasped for air. He didn't realize he hadn't breathed throughout his rambling.

He stepped closer to him. "No. The part about you falling for me."

His eyes cling to his. "I think about you all the time Antonio...And I...really really want to kiss you again..." he blushed.

The sides of Antonio's mouth turns up. Unable to face him his eyes reverted back to the his feet. "Don't make fun of me, bastardo."

"Don't turn away from me, mi tomate. I'd never make fun of you~" his voice had went from his low, dark voice to a cheery almost song-like tone.

"I didn't want to like you.." Lovino muttered.

"I know~"

"This probably won't work..."

His voice lowered slightly still cheerful. "Probably not."

"My home life isn't perfect." he felt his hand on his shoulder.

"That makes two of us, Lovi.."

"I'm willing to find out what this thing his going on between us. Are you?" he asked looking back up.

"If we weren't outside." he steps closer, smiling mischievously. "I'd show you-"

He cuts him off by grabbing the hair at the base of his neck and pulling his head down. If they couldn't have privacy right now, he'll settle for being real. The people he wants to keep this a secret from is at school. Antonio kept his hands at his side, but when he parts his lips, he groans against Lovino's mouth and his wrench drops to the ground with a loud clink. Antonio's strong hands wrap around the Italian's petite body. His velvet tongue mingles with his, creating an unfamiliar melting sensation deep within his body. His hands never stopped moving. One circled his back while the other played with his hair.

Antonio wasn't the only one exploring. Lovino's hands are moving all over Antonio, feeling his muscles tense beneath his hands and heightening his awareness of him. It was probably the greatest moment of Lovino's life.

It was a shame it couldn't last.

–

**PFFFFT its 3:49am...i sleep naow. R&R por favor~**


	14. The Debt

** So it has come to my attention that I now have 100 reviews...*0* you guys are amazing! I'm actually curious to see how much more I can get, before the last chapter. So Whoever is my 110th reviewer can request a fic of their desire :D I'll write anything! (Well...except FRUK...i hate fruk..and anyone with England that isnt America XD) so other than THAT you can request anything :3**

**enough of that now, ONTO THE STORY~~~**

–

A loud clearing of a throat was what tore them apart. Lovino had pulled away, eyes wide and blushing madly looking for the intruder, it was Antonio's boss.

Antonio looks at Lovino with intense passion. "I have to get back to work.." His breathing ragged.

"Oh. Uh..yea...sorry.." Lovino looked down, suddenly embarrassed.

"Can I see you later today?" He asked, eyes filled with hope.

"Feliciano's friend is coming over for dinner..." he muttered angrily.

"Oh..." the hope in the Spaniard's voice faded. "My cousin Elena is getting' married on Sunday. Go with me to the wedding." His face brightening again.

Lovino rubs the back of his neck nervously. "I can't have my friend's know about us. Or my parents."

"I won't tell 'em."

"What about the people at the wedding? They'll see us together."

"Nobody from the school will be there. Exceot my family, and i'll tell 'em to keep their mouths shut." he smiled.

He wants to go, but he can't lie. He never really was good with lying and sneaking around. He pushes Antonio away. "I can't think when your so fucking close to me, bastard!"

"Good, now about that wedding~" Antonio grinned.

Seeing Antonio so happy and carefree instead of dark and mean expression made him want to go. "What time?"

"Noon. It'll be an experience you'll never forget, Lovi~ I'll pick you up at eleven."

"I didn't say 'yes' yet."

"Ah, but you were about to." in a low, smooth voice.

Lovino rolled his eyes ignoring the shiver he felt. "How about I meet you here at eleven instead?" Better to meet up than have Antonio stop by his house. His grandfather would have a fit.

Antonio lifts the Italian's chin up to him. "Why aren't you afraid of bein' with me?" his cheeriness being replaced by his dark, almost sad expression.

"Are kidding? I'm fucking terrified." he hated to admit it but it was the truth. What would have been the point in lying to him if he was supposed to start being real?

"I can't pretend to have a squeaky-clean life, Lovino...even if I wanted to..." he holds Lovino's hand up so his palm is against his. "In some ways we're so different."

Lovino threads his fingers through his. "Yeah..but in other ways we're similar..."

That gets his beautiful smile back. He was making a move to kiss Lovino again until his boss clears his throat again.

"I'll meet you here at eleven on Sunday." Lovino moves to leave.

"Antonio backs away, nods and winks. "Its a date."

–

"Man, he was kissin' you like it was the last kiss of his life. If he kisses like that I wonder how he-"

"Shut up, Ernie."

"He's gonna ruin you, Tonio. Look at you already, spendin' time in jail last night and cuttin' school to get your motorcycle back. Is he worth it?"

"I gotta get back to work." Antonio sighs, his mind thinking about Ernie's words. As he picks more tomatoes and throws out the ones that grew badly, all he wants to do is make out with his de tomate preciosa.

Yea. He's definently worth it.

"Antonio, Julio is here." Ernie calls out to him. He was just about ready to go home.

"Where are they?"

"In my office."

A feeling of dread washes over him as he approaches the small room within the already small farm. When he opens the door, Julio stands there as though he owned the place. He just had that effect on his surroundings.

"Ernie this is a private manner."

Antonio didn't notice that Ernie was behind him, acting as his ally should he need one. He has been loyal to the blood. There was no reason for Julio to doubt his commitment.

"Antonio." Julio says the moment Ernie is out of sight. "Good to meet you here instead of the courthouse, si?"

He gives a weak smile and shuts the door. Julio motions to the small ripped up couch in the corner of the room. "Sit down." He waits until he is seated. "I need you to do me a favor, amigo.

He knew this was going to happen. Fighting the knots he felt in his stomach he nods. "What kind of favor?"

"A shipment needs to be delivered October thirty-first."

That was over a month and a half away. Halloween night. "I don't deal drugs. You knew that from day one."

Julio stands over him and puts a hand on his shoulder. "You've got to get over what happened to your old man. If you want to lead the Blood, you've got to deal drugs.

"Then count me out."

His hand tightens on his shoulder. A silent threat. "I wish it were that simple. I need you to do this for me. And, quite honestly, you owe me."

Shit, if he hadn't gotten arrested he wouldn't owe this debt to Julio.

"I know you won't disappoint me. By the way, how's your mother? I haven't seen her in awhile."

"She's fine." he says wondering what his mom has to do with this conversation.

"Tell her I said hello, will ya?" Julio opens the door and leaves Antonio to think over it.

He sits back staring at the closed door. If he wants to protect his mom, his choice has been made for him.

–

Its pretty short but whatevs. I'm tired and have to do a study cram session tomorrow for my test monday. ( I failed my first test already...can't afford to fail another.) Read and Review por favor :3 night my loves~


	15. Taking it slow

**WHAT UP JABRONIES. IM LATE TO UPDATE IVE BEEN REALLT STRESSED FROM SUMMER SCHOOL AS OF LATE BUT TODAY I GOT AN A ON MY TEST SO IM HAPPY SINCE I NEVER GOT AN A ON A MATH TEST BEFORE SO IN MY HAPPINESS I DECIDED TO UPDATE THIS :D**

**ONTO LE STORY**

–

Lovino drove up to the plantation that Antonio worked on. Next to him sat a bag filled with old work out clothes for when he returned home, he could change from his suit into that then his grandfather wouldn't suspect anything. He got out of his vehicle seeing Antonio waiting for him by his motorcycle. He had to keep his jaw from dropping at the sight of the Spaniard. His bandana that he always wore was gone allowing his thick brown hair rest on his forehead. Brown pants and a silk white shirt replaced his jeans and leather jacket.

He couldn't help but smile a bit as he parked next to him. "Querido, you look like you've got a secret." he smirked. "Dios mio. You look..." he just stared at the Italian.

Lovino blushed under his gaze and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. "Does this look okay...?" he looked down to the ground to embarrassed to look at Antonio.

"come here." he pulls Lovino against him. "I don't want to go to the wedding anymore. I'd rather have you all to myself."

"No way." running a slow finger along the side of his jaw.

"You're a tease."

Lovino smiled more. He loved this playful side of Antonio. It made him forget about all of his flaws.

"I came to see a Spanish wedding, and I expect to see one." he crosses his arms.

"And here I thought you were comin' to be with me."

"You've got a big ego, Carriedo."

"That's not all I got." He backs him against his car, his breath warming his neck. Lovino closes his eyes and expects his lips on his, instead he hears his voice. "Give me your keys." he reaches around and taking them from his hand.

"You're not going to throw them in the bushes, are you bastardo?"

"Don't tempt me." He laughed happily.

Antonio opens his car and slides in the driver seat.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" He glares.

"No, Lovi. I'm just going to park it so its hidden. You wouldn't want it stolen now would you?" he started moving the car. "This is an official date. I'm driving."

He parks the car and gets into another one that was in front of the building, he drives next to Lovino and invites him in. They start driving onto the road heading to the wedding.

–

"How is your brother?" Antonio's eyes never leave the road.

"He's fine I guess...spends a lot of time with that potato bastard." he mutters.

Antonio laughs. "Ah, thats lovely. Its good for little Ludwig. He's never been the type to be in a relationship. Doesn't know how to show affection."

Lovino looks at him for a moment. That's right you've known him for a long time now haven't you?"

"Si. I used to always be at his house with Gilbert. Always a serious fellow. So seeing him with your bubbly brother kinda surprised me." he smiled then grabbed Lovino's hand. "And the fact that you're so different from your brother also surprised me. A pleasant surprise anyway~"

They sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the drive. Before long, Antonio pulled up to a small, 2 story brick house.

"Isn't the wedding at a church?"

"Not for Elena. She wanted to get married at her parent's home." he rests his hand on the small of Lovino's back as they walk up to the house. He suddenly felt the urge to claim him as his. When they enter the house, Spanish music blasts from the backyard and people fill up almost every inch of space. He checks out Lovino's expression and wondering if he felt as though he was transported to Spain. Oh how he longed to show his Italian his home country of Spain.

As they continued around the backyard, Antonio introducing Lovino to family and friends and showing him Spanish food, Antonio noticed his mother was there conversing with Julio. His blood boiled has he saw the man pull at her arm and whisper something into her ear. He thought of going over there and interrupting them until he saw her laugh. Maybe he was being paranoid? Why was Julio here? This wasn't a gang related situation. Before he could analyze his fears further he felt his hand being squeezed. He looked to see Lovino staring at him with large eyes.

"Antonio, whats wrong?"

He rubbed the back of his head and tried masking his worry. "Oh its nothing, Lovi...I just-"

"Oi! Antonio!" A Germanic cackle came from behind. He turned around to see Gilbert walking towards them with his signature grin.

"Hey, Gilbert. What are you doing here?" he hugged the albino man.

"Well I'm basically family at this point aren't I? Your cousin is gonna need my awesome presence so her marriage can start off awesomely." he laughed.

Antonio was going to respond but, again, forgot Lovino was with him. He cleared his throat and smiled timidly. "Gilbert I'm sure you know Lovino Vargas."

"Yea I know him." He smirked. "So you finally decided to come out, eh Lovino?"

Antonio saw Lovino's eyes widen slightly and fire burn in his eyes. Before he could lash out he quickly held onto him and smiled. "Ahahaha Gilbert. Your so silly." Gilbert merely shrugged.

"Heh it ain't no problem! Your just lucky you came out to mein awesome friend here." he slapped Antonio on the back.

Soon the wedding began and everyone was watching. While the vows are recited, he stands behind Lovino and gathers him in his arms. He wonders what he'll be wearing for his wedding. Lovino will probably have professional photographers and videopgraphers capturing the moment with his trophy wife.

"Ahora los declar, Marido y Mujer." the priest says.

The bride and groom kiss and everyone applauds.

Lovino squeezes his hand.

–

Lovino watched in awe as the newlyweds kiss. He can tell they are madly in love with each other. He looks at Antonio. He can't see himself involved with gangs. It isn't him. But here is Antonio, placed in the middle of everything he is against but he is connected to him like nobody else. He made it his mission to change his life so maybe one day, people can say they were the perfect couple.

As music fills the air, he wraps his arms around Antonio's waist and lay his head on his chest. Antonio holds him as they sway to the music. He can see some of the looks that Antonio's family gave them. Obviously no matter what side you're on, people still care about sexual orientation.

As though reading his mind, Antonio pulls Lovino closer and whispers in his ear. "Don't worry, mi tomate. It doesn't matter what the others think. All that matters is you and me."

Lovino felt his heart race and he looked at the man before him. No one has ever said anything like that to him with such...honesty. Antonio gave him a reassuring smile and leaned in to kiss him until he heard his cousin call for his name.

"Antonio!" she yelled.

"Que?" he shouted back.

"I want you to sing for us!" she jumped excitedly pulling him towards where the band was. She grabbed the microphone from the lead singer and spoke into it.

"Gilbert!" She announces. "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you!" she points to him talking to a bunch of girls. "Next time you want to take a dump, do it in someone else's house."

Lovino watched as Gilbert's entourage of girls backs away and giggles, leaving him alone. She leaves the stage and Antonio talks to the band leader. He smiled and begins talking. "Normally I wouldn't make a fool out of myself by doin' this but I can't ignore this special request from the bride. She can be pretty persuasive."

"Yea I know!" a guy next to Lovino shouted. The bride punched him in the gut and he simply laughed and kissed her. Would he and Antonio ever be like that?

The music started and Antonio started singing. He wasn't being serious or anything. He just sang and danced up there, ad libbed songs from Shakira, Marc Anthony, and even Jennifer Lopez. His eyes never left the Spaniard, he was so stunned to hear him sing. It was...beautiful really. The way his hair bounced slightly with his movements, the energy he emitted on the stage. It all was absolutely amazing. Antonio quickly winked at him making him blush. He finishes the song and makes his way back to Lovino holding him. Everyone was applauding him as he left.

"That was...amazing.." Lovino stared at the Spaniard.

Pinked dust his tan cheeks and he rubbed his head smiling dumbly. "Nah it wasn't that good..." he laughed lightly.

Once it was getting dark everyone was still partying when they were walking to the car. On the drive back to the Fairfield they're both quiet.

"Come here." Antonio says softly when they park by the side of the plantation where no one can see. Lovino leans over the middle console closing the distance between them.

"I...I had a good time...Antonio..." he blushed trying to scowl but failing.

"That's good. I knew you would, mi tomate."

He threads his hands into his short brown hair, laughing inwardly as the curl still stuck out. Lovino wraps his arms around Antonio's neck as he traces the valley between his lips with his tongue. Moaning slightly he allowed him access and deepens the kiss. Their hands began to roam seeking unexplored areas that were hidden underneath fabric. Lovino makes soft moaning sounds as Antonio explores the caverns of his mouth while holding him with strong arms. They separate momentarily for air before Antonio captures his lips with his once again. Before they knew it, they were in the backseat still kissing hungrily. Antonio's lips traveled from Lovino's mouth to his neck, sucking and nipping on every inch of it. Lovino moans loud when his lips caress the hollow of his neck. He unbuttons the Spaniard's shirt and his hands roam his chest, feeling his muscles tense underneath his hands. Without thinking, Antonio's hands slide up his thighs and snaps his pants unzipping them slowly.

"A-Antonio..." he gasps.

Antonio pulls away a few inches to gaze into the Italian's amber orbs, dark with lust. "Oh Lovi...Dios mio I want you.." he groans as Lovino presses himself against Antonio's erection.

He quickly goes back to ravishing his mouth almost ripping his shirt open. He kissed and licked at every inch of skin that was exposed into the night air. On instinct. Lovino wrapped his arms and legs around the Spaniard urging him on. The pain and pleasure almost to much for him to handle. Lovino gasped and moans as Antonio slowly started grinding against him causing some much needed friction for the both parties but it wasn't enough. Nowhere near it.

"Antonio..." he whispered, trying to keep from moaning.

Antonio's hands quickly made there way to pull down Lovino's pants when suddenly the latter grabbed his hands stopping him.

"Wait...Antonio.." he says, still panting for air. "I-I'm not ready for that..."

Antonio quickly stopped and looked into his eyes with concern. He felt guilty when he saw a hint of fear in the Italian's eyes. He moves off him and leans back into the seat, trying to cool off. He couldn't watch as Lovino buttoned his shirt back and zipped up his pants.

"I'm sorry Lovi..." he said not looking at his lover.

"Its...alright..I urged you on. Its my fault..." he gets out of the car. Antonio follows him out not caring to fix his shirt as it blew in the wind.

"Lovi..."

"I'm sorry Antonio..." he goes to his car.

"I'm really sorry Lovino...I...I couldn't help myself..."

"Its alright, really." he still didn't look his way. Then he turned around, his eyes meeting Antonio's. "Lets just take it slow, ok?"

"Yea..." he nodded.

He waited as Lovino drove away. He had gotten caught up in his hands he forgot about everything except for his body close to his.

The bet.

This thing with Lovino is supposed to be about a bet, not falling for a north sider. He had to keep his mind on the fact that he was only interested in Lovino because of the bet, and he better ignore what he suspected were real feelings.

Feelings can't be part of this game.

–

**so there you guys go :3 hope you enjoyed it. Read and review por favor~**

**Bye bye my loves**


	16. Too Late

** Oki so I finally decided to get back on my regular updates :) just so ya'll know, we're close to finishing! Bout 8 more chapters to go! (my estimation anyway...) I passed summer school wit say what you will, I dont care. Its passing thats all I care about :D.**

**OH 150th reviewer, like the 110th, gets to request a fic of their choice except it can be a 2-shot one :3 I write most things except FRUK and anyone with Eng;and that isnt America. (Sorry...hardcore USUK supporter...)**

–

Lovino pulled into the parking lot of a 7-Eleven where he could go unnoticed and went in. He changed into his jeans and a baggy shirt with a blue sweater, and drove home. He couldn't help but think back to what had almost happened with Antonio. The way his large, rough hands roamed his body with desire. The way his kisses made Lovino feel as though he would melt into them. When he was with Antonio, everything was way more intense. His feelings, his emotions, his desire. He never was addicted to Femke like he was with Antonio. Never wanted to be with her twenty-four/seven. He craved Antonio. He combed his fingers through his hair take a stuttering breath. Oh God, was he falling in love with Antonio? He took a deep breath.

He knew loving someone meant losing apart of himself. And tonight, in the car when Antonio went to pull down his pants, he was afraid of losing control. All his life had been about keeping control of his life, so this was not good. It scared him.

He walked through the front door of his house, ready to sneak up to his room and put his nice clothes in his closet. Unfortunetly, his grandfather was standing there on the foyer, waiting for him.

"Where were you?" his grandfather asked sternly, holding up Lovino's folder and chemistry book. "You told me you were working out and then _studying_ with that Hernandez boy."

Shit. He was busted. "His last name is Carriedo. Not Hernandez. He's not even mexican. And yes, I was with him."

His grandfather was silent. His lips in a tight, thin line. "Its obvious you weren't studying. What do you have in that gym bag?" he demands. "Drugs? Are you hiding drugs in there, Lovino?"

"I don't do drugs." Lovino respond sharply.

He cocks and eyebrow and points to the bag. "Open the bag." he orders.

Lovino huffs and kneels down to unzip it. Pulling out his outfit, he held it up.

"A suit?" His grandfather asked.

"I went to a wedding with Antonio. His cousin got married." he mumbled.

"That boy told you to lie to me. Hes' manipulating you, Lovino."

"He didn't make me lie." he said exasperated. "Give me a little fucking credit, would ya? I did it all on my own."

"Watch your language!" his anger was in full swing. "If I ever...EVER find you were out with that boy again, I'll have no problem sending you to boarding school for the rest of your senior year. I can't keep worrying about you only. I also have to take care of your brother. Promise me you'll have no other contact with that boy outside of school."

He promises and runs upstairs to Feliciano's room.

"Feli...open your door..." he knocked on the door praying he was still awake.

"Ve...Fratello what did I do now its late and we have- Whats wrong?" Lovino went into his room and plopped on his brother's bed laying down groaning. Feliciano closed his door and sat next to his distressed brother. "Lovino, whats wrong?"

"I need my brother right now, Feli..." his hands rubbing his eyes angrily.

"What is it?"

"I like Antonio. A lot."

There was silence.

Lovino moved his hands to look at his brother. "Feliciano?"

Feliciano gave him a small smile. "I knew it." Lovino groaned and threw a pillow at his twin. Feliciano laughed as it narrowly missed him. "I'm glad your telling me this, Lovi. But...Why?"

Lovino pondered for a moment and sighed. "Because I need to talk about it. With you."

"Your my brother." Feliciano smiles brightly, rubbing Lovino's back.

"And your mine."

"Well I'm all ears, fratello." Feliciano extends his arms to his sides to emphasize.

Lovino tells him the full story and leaves to his own room with lighter shoulders. When sits on his bed his phone rings.

"Ciao."

"I have to talk to you." Elizaveta quickly states.

"What is it?"

"Did you see Gilbert today?"

"Um...Yea."

"Did you mention me?"

"No. Why the hell would...? Did you want me to?"

"No...Yes...Oh...I don't know...I'm so confused..." she cried.

"Elizaveta, just tell him how you feel and stop bullshitting around. It worked for me with Antonio."

"Yea but you're Lovino Vargas."

"You know how it feels to be Lovino Vargas? I'll tell you. I'm insecure as fuck, just like anyone else, don't fucking tell anyone I said that. And have more pressure on me to put on an act, so people's image of me doesn't shatter and they don't see i'm just like everybody else. And that makes me more vulnerable and more scrutinized, and more susceptible to gossip."

"So I guess you probably won't be happy about the rumors spreading about you and Antonio within my group of friends. Do you want to know what they are?"

"Hell no."

"You sure?"

"Yea. If you consider yourself my...friend, don't tell me." If she told him, then he would feel the need to confront them and right now. He just wanted to live in ignorant bliss.

–

After Lovino sped out of the plantation to get away from Antonio, he was not feeling like talking and hope to avoid his mother when he got home. But one glance at the living room sofa puts that wish to rest. The television is off and the lights are low.

"Antonio." She starts. "I didn't want this life for us."

"I know."

"I hope Lovino doesn't put ideas in your head that shouldn't be there."

He shrugs. "Like what? That he hates I'm in a gang? You may have not chosen this life for me, but you sure as hell didn't protest when I got jumped in."

"Don't talk like that Antonio."

His voice grew darker. "Because the truth is to painful? I'm in a gang to protect you, Mama. You know that, even though we don't talk about it." He got louder, his voice matching his frustration. "It's a choice I made a long time ago. You can pretend you didn't encourage me, but." he pulls of his shirt revealing his Latino Blood tattoos. "Look at me real good. I'm a gangbanger, just like Papa. You want me to deal drugs to?"

Tears stream down her face. "If I thought there was another way-"

"You were to scared to leave this shithole, and now we're stuck. Don't put your guilt on me, or my Lovino."

"That's not fair." she says, rising.

"What's not fair is you livin' like a widow in perpetual mourning since Papa died. Why don't we move back to Spain? Tell Uncle he wasted his life's savings sendin' us to America. Or are you afraid to go back to Spain and tell your family that you failed here?"

"We are not having this discussion."

"Open your eyes." he stretch his arms out wide. "What do you have here worth stayin' for? Your son? 'Cause that's a copout. Is this the image of the American Dream to you?" He points to the shrine of his father. "He was a gangbanger. Not a saint."

"He had no choice." She cries. "He protected us."

"And now I'm protectin' us. You gonna have a shrine for me when I get whacked?" She slaps him, then backs away. Dios mio, he hate that he upset her. He reached out to her, his fingers wrapping around her arm to hug her and apologize, but she winces. "Mama?" he questions. He wasn't rough with her but shes acting like he was.

She wrenches herself out of his grasp and turns away, but he can't let it go. He steps forward and lifts up the sleeve of her dress. To his horror he finds an awful bruise on her upper arm. Its purple, black, and blue hues with a yellow ring surrounding it stare back at him, and his mind race back to the wedding when he saw his mom with Julio.

"Julio did this to you?" he question softly.

"You have to stop asking questions about your papa." She quickly pulls down her sleeve to cover the bruise.

Rage rumbles in his gut and spreads as he realizes his mom getting a bruise was a warning to him. "Why? Who is Julio trying to protect?" Is he protecting someone in the LB, or another gang member affiliated with the LB? He wish he could ask Julio. Even more, he'd like to retaliate and kick his ass for hurting his mom, but Julio is untouchable. They all knew challenging him would be like turning against the Blood.

She glares at him. "Don't question me on this. There are things you don't know Antonio. Things you should never know. Just let it go."

"You think living in ignorance is a good thing? Papa was a gang member who dealt drugs. I'm not afraid of the truth dammit. Why is everyone around me covering up the truth?"

His hands feel clammy as he hold them stiffly at his sides. He steps forward to her and put his hand gently on her shoulder. "Perdin, Mama."

She swipes his hand away as she suppresses a sob and runs to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Antonio leaves and sits down in front of the door, thinking over all that had just happened. How did everything escalate so quickly? Everything was fine earlier that day but now everything was falling apart. His mother opens the and looks down at him. She looks so sad. He wished he could change her life and take the hurt away but he knows he can't. She sits beside him and lights a cigarette in her hand, the first one he'd seen he smoke in a long time.

He's waiting for her to say something, he had said enough tonight.

"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, Antonio." She blows cigarette smoke up at the moon. "And some of them can't be undine no matter how much I pray to the Lord above." She reaches out and tucks Antonio's hair behind his ears. "You're a teenager who has the responsibilities of a man. I know its not fair to you."

"Esta bien."

"No its not. I grew up to fast, too. I didn't even graduate high school because I got pregnant with you." She looks at him as if she was seeing herself as a teenager not that long ago. "Oh, I wanted a baby so bad. Your father wanted to wait until after high school, but I was going to make it happen sooner. All I wanted in this world was to be a mom."

You regret it?" he asks.

"Being a mom? Never. Seducing your father and making sure he didn't use a condom? Yes."

"I don't want to hear this."

"Well I'm gonna tell you whether you want to hear it or not. Be careful, Antonio."

He sighs. "Mama...I'm with Lovino. A guy. I'm sure he won't get pregnant."

She shakes her head. "No you don't get it. Guys like him are just as manipulative as girls are."

"Lovino is-"

"The kind of guy who can make you do things you don't want to do."

"Believe me, mom. He doesn't want to adopt a child from Cambodia."

"No, but he'll want other things. Things you can never give him."

He looks up at the stars, the moon, the universe that he knows doesn't end. "But what if I want to give them to him?"

She lets out a slow breath, the action causing cigarette smoke to fly out of her mouth in one long stream. "At the age of thirty-five I'm old enough to have seen people die thinking they can change the ways of the world. No matter what you think, your father died trying to fix his life. Your facts are distorted, Antonio. You were just a little boy, to young to understand."

"I'm old enough now,"

A tear escapes from her eye and she wipes it away. "Yes, well, now its too late."

–

Review, please?


	17. YOLO

** Welp here I am with another update :3 I havent completely gotten back to my regular updates (You know, when I updated EVERYDAY?) but ive never really found myself motivated to. Its hard to motivate me to do stuff. (has a fanfic that hasnt been tocuhed in months and cosplays that need to be done) but Tumblr seduces me everytime I try getting something done...**

**enough of my rambling, lets get to the story!**

–

"No."

"Come on, Lovino~"

"I said no."

"But Lovino-"

"I fucking said _no._" Lovino said angrily as he put down his glass that was now empty of its contents. The force causing a loud clank noise.

"You could bring Antonio~" Feliciano tried to persuade him. Lovino cursed and stared at his glass.

It had been a tough week not being able to go out to see said Spaniard. He only saw him at school in chemistry but even then they couldn't talk due to the work that required all of their attention. He would never admit it but he missed his spontanious and mysterious boyfriend. Now Feliciano had just invited him to go out tonight with him and his German boyfriend and said he could bring Antonio. Lovino was silent as he pondered over the suggestion and he sighed in defeat.

"Fine." he crossed his arms. "But don't expect me to be nice to that potato bastard boyfriend of yours."

Feliciano clapped happily as his brother glared. "Stupendo! I'll tell Luddy now~" he skipped off to find his phone.

Groaning, Lovino got up from his chair and headed to his room. He grabbed his phone and texted Antonio.

**From: Lovi~**

**Hey Tomato-bastard. My brother just invited me out tonight with his bastard boyfriend. He said I could bring you along so like come meet-up I mean if you want to anyway...not that I care whether you go or not but its whatever given that we haven't really seen each other this week but you know...shit i'm rambling...**

**Just come with us if you want to, if not then whatever.**

He quickly pocketed his phone as he began rummaging through his wardrobe trying to find something suitable for the night. He decided on wearing his black jeans that hugged the curves of his legs, a button-up red shirt and a red and black patterned bandana in his back pocket. He went to the mirror to fix his hair when his phone went off. He flipped it open and read the text.

**From: Antonio**

**Oh Lovi~ I would love to! Where will we be meeting?**

**From: Lovi~**

**We'll be meeting at that one pizza place that everyone goes to. I hear it has the best sauce on their pizza.**

**From: Antonio**

**Ok Lovi~ I will head over there uno momento~ :)**

He pocketed his phone again and headed down stairs. He sat down at the table as he waited for Feliciano to come down as well. The doorbell rang and he cursed to himself as he got up to answer it. He swung it open and there stood the straight-faced German his brother was in love with.

He rolled his eyes "Feliciano! Your bastard is here!" he shouted and walked away.

Ludwig stood baffled for a moment before walking in and standing on the foyer awkwardly. Lovino found himself glaring at the German before him which made said man feel defensive. They glared at each other until Feliciano came tumbling down the stairs which made Ludwig break the eye contact as he ran to see if his boyfriend was fine.

"Feliciano! Are you alright?" he held him worry written all over his face.

Feliciano giggled happily and got up with the help of Ludwig. "I'm fine Luddy. This always happen when Fratello yells at me from down here." he rubbed his head happily.

There was a slight trace of a smile on the German's face as Feliciano went to hug him. Lovino scowled at their signs of affection. As soon as he saw they were about to kiss he cleared his throat and glared at them.

"Shouldn't we star heading out now. Antonio said he would be there soon." he stated not showing any sign of excitement.

Ludwig's eyes widened slightly and he looked at Feliciano. "Antonio...?"

Feliciano blushed and nodded. "Si. I told Lovino that he could bring Antonio with him since theyre...you know...like us."

It took him a moment but he finally understood and nodded his head. "Ah, ja I see. Thats good then I guess. We should start leaving then." he grabbed Feliciano's hand and started to leave out the door. Feliciano quickly grabbed his brother's hand as he was dragged out.

They all went into the small car that Ludwig owned. Feliciano seating himself in the passenger seat next to Ludwig while Lovino sat in the back. He looked out the window as they started the drive to the pizza place. Much to Lovino's dismay, it wasn't a quiet ride. Feliciano kept on talking about nothing pestering Ludwig. He must have had the patience of a saint for why he calmly sat there as the Italian kept rambling on from one subject to another. It all would have been endearing if he didn't hate the German so much. They finally arrived and went in, it would appear that all of Fairfield was there to. Lovino scrunched his nose; he hated big crowds. But considering the cirumstances, he figured he might as well be nice. Putting up the facade he always does. As they ordered the pizza he had received a text, he checked it.

**From: Antonio**

**Sorry mi tomate, boss is going to be a bit late. Have to help mama with putting away groceries real quick.**

Boss? Lovino stared at it for a moment before sighing and putting away his phone. "Looks like that asshole will be late meeting up with us." he groaned.

"Oh but atleast he's still coming right? He'll just be late~" Feliciano tried feeding Ludwig his pizza despite said man's protests that he can feed himself.

Before Lovino could eat his pizza, he saw more people from Fairfield walk in. They were a group of guys clad in Football jerseys being followed by girls that he had assumed were the the cheerleaders. One of them being Elizaveta, who somewhat looked a little lost since none of the girls from the squad spoke to her. Lovino took that as his cue and waved her over.

"Eliza!" She saw him and smiled walking over to the table.

"Hello, Lovino." Feliciano clapped and grabbed an extra chair for her to sit with them. She gladly took her seat.

"Its nice seeing you again." She started. "Why are you guys here, anyway?"

"Me and Luddy are on a date~" Feliciano chirped holding onto Ludwig. Some snickering from behind them started and they looked to find a group of jocks laughing and making disgusted noises. Ludwig gave them the coldest stare he could muster and that shut them up. He looking back at the group he was with he straightened his clothes slightly and nodded.

"Sorry about that..."

"Ve...Its alright Ludwig~" he giggled. Lovino could see Elizaveta blush ever so slightly and gave a smile.

"Oh, its so great to see two people so happy together~" She seemed to be supressing much more of her happiness than what she showed.

As Feliciano began telling Elizaveta about how they had met in class on the furst day, Lovino watched the door as more jocks and cheerleaders began filing in, invading the restaurant. Much to his not so surprise, he saw Francis come in with his arm around Femke's shoulder as though they were a couple. Feliciano gasped and he looked at Lovino who merely brushed it off.

"He is such a man-whore." He heard Elizaveta scowl, her hand twitching to go and hit him probably.

"I'm not worried about it. She can be with whoever the hell she pleases." He reffered to Femke as he drank his soda not paying an attention to them.

"He's only dating her to make you mad."

"Do I look mad?"

"Well no..."

"Well then. His plan failed. Miserably."

Feliciano looked at him worriedly but Ludwig put a hand on his shoulder and gave a reassuring smile which he gladly appreciated. Almost out of nowehere, they started kissing, no doubt Feliciano being the one to initiate it. Lovino shook his head in disgust and turned to Elizaveta.

"So how are things progressing with you-know-who?" he asked, knowing not to bring up Gilbert's name because she doesn't want Ludwig to know she has the hots for his brother.

"They're not..." she sighs.

"Well why the hell not? Didn't you have the talk with him like I told you to?"

"No. He's been acting like a total douche, completely ignoring the fact that we got together that one night. I'm thinking he doesn't bring it up because he doesn't want it to go any farther."

Everytime he thought back to when he broke up with Femke to go for it with Antonio, leaving what was expected of him and finally do what felt right, he feels stronger.

Once they were done eating, there was still no sign of Antonio. They all decided to go to a club and he grabbed his phone.

**From: Lovi~**

**Hey we're done eating. We're heading to the club now. You know the one down the street from the restaurant. Meet us there.**

**From: Antonio**

**Si I will be there soon Lovi. I'm on my way now.**

As he put away his phone he felt a presence behind him. He turned around and saw a smirking Francis.

"Got a date tonight?"

He scowled. "What the hell is up with you. You used to be cool with me and Feliciano, now you're a complete ass."

He sighed and flipped his wavy hair. "Ah, oui, we used to be good friend but you know, it gets tiring dealing with such ah, how you say, queer Italians and letting them take the spotlight." he laughed.

Lovino rolled his eyes "You can take the fucking spotlight." he didn't care anymore. He only used it to enhance his perfect facade.

When they got to the club, Antonio had snuck up behind Lovino and scared him. Said Italian jumped and hit his stomach which Antonio merely laughed and rubbed it. Lovino then wrapped his arms around Antonio and kissed him.

"Whoah Lovino. I thought we were trying to keep this a secret. I hate to burst your bubble but theirs a lot of your people across from us glaring." he pointed it out.

Lovino scowled. "I don't care anymore. Just fucking kiss me."

–

He grinned and gladly obliged him. They kissed passionately for a moment before parting for air.

"Why the sudden change?" he couldn't help but ask.

Lovino smiled. "You only live once."

At that Antonio's grin widened and he grabbed Lovino by the waist and headed to the back of the line for the club and shot up his free arm into the air.

"YOLO." he shouted which gathered them more than a few stares. Lovino quickly smacked his hand to his face but laughed anyway.

It was cold outside, so Antonio unzipped his leather jacket and enveloped Lovino into his warmth causing said Italian to blush as they wait to be let in.

Lovino looked up a him, their bodies pressed together. "Will you dance with me tonight?"

"But of course, Lovi~" he responded nuzzling his neck.

Once inside the club, Antonio immediately heads for the dance floor with Lovino in tow. They ignored the gawking stares from Fairfield students from Lovino's side of town as he pulled Lovino close to him and they move to the beat. They move together as if they have been together forever, every movement in sync with each other. Antonio smiled as he saw the fearless look on Lovino's face. He was glad that he was no longer afraid of what people thought about them being together.

They continue like that for who knows how long and finally stop when they need a breather. They walk off the the dance floor and Antonio pulls out Lovino's cell phone from his pocket.

"Hey bastard-"

"Pose for me Lovi~"

He blushed and quickly tried posing but Antonio took the picture at the right time, catching Lovino in an awkward pose.

"Ooooh Lovi, you're so cute~" he teased.

"Oh shut up." he grabbed his phone back and aimed it at Antonio. "Now you pose for me."

He quickly went into a cool, bad boy pose which made Lovino laugh at how ridiculous it was.

"Lets take one together, Lovino." he grabbed the phone again and pulled Lovino next to him pressing their cheeks together. Then with one click, captured the moment forever. After the picture is taken, Antonio pulls Lovino into his arms and kisses him.

Lovino then leans against Antonio and they both look out to the crowd. Antonio noticed on the first floor near the balcony, is Femke. Her angry eyes met Antonio's then Lovino's and she makes a big show of kissing the guy next to her. Its Francis. And he's kissing her back with all he has and gropes her ass, grinding against her. He knew Lovino would be here with Antonio, so he obviously planned this.

"You want to go?" Antonio whispers in his ear, not wanting his boyfriend to be upset.

Lovino turns to face him and he appeared breathless. "Nope. But its so fucking hot in here. Take off your jacket."

Antonio hesitated before shaking his head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

He winced.

"Tell me the truth, Antonio." Lovino looked into his eyes with worry.

He pushes a lock of Lovino's hair behind his ear. "Mi tomate, this isn't Latino Blood turf. Its Fremont 5's territory, a rival of the LB. There's a group of them just across the dance floor."

He felt guilty as he saw Lovino's eyes widen with fear. "Oh God Antonio, I put you in danger. Let's get the hell out of here!" he started going the other direction before Antonio got ahold of his hand and brought him back in his arms. He whispers in his ear.

"You only live once, isn't that what you said? Dance with me again."

"But-"

Antonio cuts him off with a kiss so powerful he hoped it made Lovino forget what he was getting riled up for. As soon as they got back to their sense, they were back on the dance floor.

They beat the odds and dance dangerously close to the sharks, but come out unscathed. The added danger causing them to heighten their awareness of each other. At the end of the night, as Antonio is walking him to the car, he takes Lovino's hand in his and looks up at the stars.

"If you could wish on a star right now, what would you wish for?" he asked.

"For time to stop."

"Why?"

Lovino blushed and he shrugged. "Cause I could live in this moment forever. What would you wish for?"

He paused for a moment before looking into Lovino's eyes. "I wish I could go where ever you go in the future."

–

**AAAAHHH fail ending is fail. Whatevs. Not much to say other than thanks for all the reviews n stuff and please review this chapter as well :D **


	18. I need your help

**Not much to say other than we're nearing the close~ :3 oh and HETALIA WILL BE GETTING A MUTHEREFFIN 5TH SEASON! YES!**

–

"Gilbert, what the hell are you doing here?" The last person Lovino would ever expect as his house was Antonio's best friend.

"I need to talk to you." The albino stated.

He paused for a moment. "Uh...want to come in?"

Gilbert straightened his back. "You sure its okay?"

"Yea, of course." he waved it off. His grandfather would be pissed but he didn't care anymore. He was tired of pretending to be perfect out of fear from his grandfather's wrath. He knew that Gilbert accepted him just as Antonio had and it wasn't easy for him to get there. Lovino opened the door wide and let Gilbert in. What if he asked about Elizaveta? What would he say? He promised her he would keep everything a secret.

"Who's at the door, Lovino?"

"This is Gilbert." He explains to his grandfather. "He's a friend of mine from school."

He eyed the albino suspiciously before looking back at Lovino. "Dinner's on the table." He hints not too subtly. "Tell your friend its impolite to visit during dinner hours."

Lovino smirks inwardly and turns to Gilbert. "Want to eat over?" he felt rebellious and it felt _great_.

"Heh, nah that's alright." Gilbert chuckles. "I thought maybe we could talk, you know, about Antonio."

Lovino almost sighed in relief when it wasn't about Elizaveta but he froze when he realized Gilbert had turned serious. He lead Gilbert through the house and they passed by Feliciano in the family room, who is happily texting on his phone.

"Oh hey birdie." Gilbert grinned. Lovino quickly looked at him curiously.

Feliciano looked up and waved. "Oh, hello Gilbert~"

Lovino switched between looking the two. "How do you..."

"Ah he's always at our house hangin' with mein bruder. These have became the best friends, right Feli?"

"Ah..Si...Best friends." Lovino noticed the hesitation in his twin and prayed that Gilbert didn't notice, thankfully he waved at Feliciano as they continued their way.

Lovino looks at Gilbert warily as he leads him outside so they can have a privacy from his eavesdropping grandfather. "What's going on?"

"Antonio needs help. He won't listen to me. A big drug deal is goin' down and Antonio is the one running the show."

"Antonio wouldn't do a drug deal. He promised me."

The look on Gilbert's face told him he knows otherwise. Lovino looked down and balled his fists. "Shit..."

"I've tried reasoning with him." Gilbert sighed. "This thing...it with big-time dealers. Somethin' doesn't feel right about it, Lovino. Julio's making Antonio do this and for the life of me I don't know why. Why Antonio?"

He took a moment to register it all and finally looked up, determination filling his features. "What can I do?"

"Tell Antonio to find a way out. If anyone can get out if it, its him."

Tell him? He couldn't even imagine Antonio agreeing to do a drug deal. He just didn't suit him.

"Lovino, dinner is already cold!" His grandfather yells from the kitchen window. "Let's sit down as a family for once!"

"Wait here, unless you want to see a Vargas family argument."

Gilbert puts his hands in his pockets and grins. "This oughta be interesting. Kesesesese."

They walk into the kitchen. "Gilbert and I need to go."

"Where?" his grandfather quirks and eyebrow.

"To see Antonio."

"No you're not." The elder grabs his plate full of food and tosses it into the sink. The dish breaks and food flies out onto the floor. "I've given you everything you want, Lovino." He begins. "A new car, designer clothes-"

Lovino's already worn patience snaps. "That's totally superficial, Grandpa. On the outside, everyone sees you as successful, but as a guardian you suck. Why the hell are you afraid of being seen as having problems like the rest of the world?"

His grandfather just stared at him in shock and Lovino loved that he was defying him. "Listen, Antonio needs my help. One of the things that makes me who I am is the loyalty I have to people I hold close to my heart. If that hurts, or scares you then to bad."

Feliciano stands up and rests a hand on his shoulder, smiling reassuringly. "Good Job, Lovi."

Lovino squeezes his brother's hand and turns back to his grandfather. "If you want to kick me out, or disown me for me being who I am then man up and fucking do it and get it over with."

He was done with being scared. Scared for Antonio and himself. It was time he faced his fears and insecurities otherwise he'll just be miserable his entire life. He wasn't perfect and it was time the rest of the world saw that too.

"Listen to me Lovino, if you walk out that door...don't come back."

Feliciano gasped and Gilbert's eyes widened. But Lovino smirks and turns to the door. "Ready to go, Gilbert?"

He jumps and pats him on the back. "Yep." In the car, Gilbert goes on about how awesome Lovino acted and it was the bravest thing he'd seen a guy from the north side do. He drives them to the darkest side of Fairfield. He leads Lovino to a large warehouse on a secluded back road.

A big muscly guy stops them. "Who's this guy?" he eyes Lovino.

"He's clean." Gilbert interjected.

"He starts sniffin' around and it'll be your head, Gil." he opens the door.

Lovino had the urge to run away from the dangerous atmosphere, but he had to stay. He needed to be strong. If not for him then for Antonio.

"Follow me." Gilbert says, grabbing his arm and pulling him straight ahead through a corridor. Voices come from the opposite side of the warehouse. He hears Antonio's voice.

"Let me go to him myself." Lovino wrenches himself away from Gilbert's grip. He tries to get him again.

"Thats not a very good idea. Wait until Julio's done talking- hey wait!"

Lovino walked towards Antonio's voice. He's talking to two other guys. They are obviously having a secret conversation. One of the guys gives Antonio a piece of paper. That's when Antonio notices Lovino.

Antonio says something in Spanish to one of the guys before folding the paper and shoving it into his jeans pocket. His voice is hard and tough, like his expression is right now. "What the hell are doing here?" he asks quickly, a hint of fear and worry in his eyes.

"I just-"

He couldn't finish his sentence because Antonio grabs hold of his upper arm. "You _just_ are leaving here this instant. Who the hell brought you over here?"

Before Lovino could respond, Gilbert appears out of the darkness. His pale skin against the darkness giving him a ghost-like appearance.

"Antonio, please, Gilbert may have brought me here, but it was my idea."

"You culero." Antonio lets go of Lovino and faces Gilbert.

"Isn't this your future, Antonio?" he smirks, but Lovino could tell it was fake. "Why are you ashamed to show your boyfriend your home away from home?"

Antonio throws a punch, connecting with Gilbert's jaw causing him to go down. Lovino runs to him then gives Antonio a scowl. "I can't believe you fucking did that! He's your best friend, Antonio."

"I don't want you seein' this place!" a line of blood streams from Gilbert's mouth. "You shouldn't have brought him here." Antonio says calmly this time. "He doesn't belong here.."

"Neither do you, man." Gilbert coughs and gets up. "Now take him away. He's seen enough, I'm sure."

"Let's go, Lovi." Antonio orders, holding out his hand.

But he doesn't move. He cups Gilbert's chin, inspecting the damage. "Shit, your bleeding." His voice is shaky. Blood was enough to make him sick. He hated anything to do with blood and violence.

Gilbert pushed his hand away. "I'll be fine. Go with him."

A voice erupts from the darkness, speaking Spanish to Antonio and Gilbert. Lovino shivers at the authority in the guy's voice. If he wasn't scared before, he sure as hell was now. The guy had been talking to Antonio earlier. He's dressed in a dark suit with a stark white dress shirt underneath. He saw him briefly at the wedding. His jet black hair was slicked back and skin is dark. One look told him he was someone very powerful in the Latino Blood.

"Nada, Julio."

"Nothin, Julio." Antonio and Gilbert say in unison.

"Take him somewhere, Carriedo." Julio gestures to Lovino.

Antonio takes Lovino's hand and hurries him out of the warehouse. When they're finally outside, Lovino sighs in relief.

–

"Lets get out of here, mi amor. Vamos!"

He breathes a sigh of relief as he straddles his motorcycle and Lovino hops on behind him. He wraps his arms around his waist, holding on tight as they sped out of the parking lot.

"Can we stop now?" Lovino yells through the deafening storm. They had flown through the streets and continued like that even when it had began raining.

Antonio parks under an old abandoned bridge by the lake. They are secluded from the pounding rain. Lovino hops to the ground.

"You're a stupid asshole." he crosses his arms, glaring. "You can't deal drugs. Its dangerous and its fucking stupid and you promised me. You'll risk going to jail. _Jail_, Antonio. You may not give a rat's ass but I do. I won't let you ruin your life."

"What do you want to hear?"

"Nothing. Everything. Fuck say _something_ so I don't stand here feeling like a complete idiota."

"The truth is...Lovi look at me.."

"I can't" He stares st the pouring rain. "I'm fucking tired of thinking of every scary scenario."

Antonio pulls Lovino against him. "Don't think, mi tomate. Everything will work itself out-"

"But-"

"No buts. Trust me." His mouth closes over his. The feel of Lovino's smooth skin eases his nerves.

His hand braces the small of Lovino's back. Lovino's hands grip Antonio's soaked shoulders. Antonio's hands slide under Lovino's shirt and circles his belly button. The Spaniard then lifts Lovino until he's straddling him over his bike. They don't, _can't_ stop kissing. Antonio whispers sweet nothings in his ear while Lovino kisses him with all the passion he could muster. Their tongues engage in a battle for dominance with Antonio winning. His lips move down Lovino's neck and kisses and sucks every inch of it. Lovino moves his head to allow better access and moans as Antonio lays a soft bite. Antonio lays him back and removes his shirt. He can make the naïve Italian forget about all of the bad stuff. Hell, when they're together even Antonio forgets everything except the one in front of him.

"I'm...losing control.." Lovino moans as Antonio kisses down his shoulder leaving hickeys for all to see.

"Oh Lovi, I've already lost it." He says huskily, grinding against him roughly so he knows exactly just how much control he lost.

Lovino moves his hips with Antonio's in a slow rhythm. Their desperate need for each other increasing. Lovino wraps his arms around Antonio's neck as Antonio's hand pinches Lovino's already hardened nipple.

"..Toni...I...Ahh~" he moans, thrusting his hips against Antonio's, begging for more.

Antonio looks him in the eyes and immediately hates having a conscience. He covers Lovino's body with his. He could easily take him right now. Lovino's even _begging_ him for it.

Its that stupid bet he made. When he made the bet, he had no feelings for this complex Italian boy. But now...He didn't want to think about his feelings. He hated feelings. And May God strike him down for wanting to make love to Lovino, not fuck him on his motorcycle like some cheap whore.

He moves his hands away from his chest. "I can't take you like this. Not here." his voice was hoarse. This boy was about to gift him with his body despite knowing who Antonio was.

He expected him to be embarrassed and yell at him calling him a bastard. But instead he curls into Antonio's chest and hugs him. Antonio wraps his arms around him and hols him tight.

"I...Love You..." He hears Lovino whisper softly. He could barely hear and thought he wasn't meant to hear it.

His gut twists and he holds Lovino tighter. Dios mio, if things were different he'd never give him up. He burrow his face into Lovino's hair and thinks of taking Lovino away to somewhere far away. Like Spain.

They stay that way for a long time. Even after the rain had long stopped. He helps Lovino off the motorcycle so he can put his shirt back on. Lovino looks up at him, a hopeful look on his face. It broke Antonio's heart. "Are you going to do this drug deal?"

Antonio gets off his motorcycle and walks over to the end of the tunnel. Sticking his hand in the water still dripping down the sides, he let the cold water fall through his fingers.

"I've got to." He responds, his back to Lovino.

"But why?" Lovino walks beside him.

Antonio puts his palm over Lovino's cheek and tries a smile. "Didn't you know gang members do drug deals? Its part of the job."

"So quit. I'm sure there is a way..."

"You want to quit, they give you a challenge. Survive a beating. Or it could be torture. Only once have I ever seen someone live, and even now he wishes he was dead..." he shuddered at the thought. "Can we please change the subject?"

"I'm against you doing anything illegal."

"Lovi, you need a saint. Or a minister. And I'm neither."

"Aren't I important to you?" Desperation filled Lovino's face.

"Yes, of course!" Antonio said a little to quickly for his liking.

"Then prove it to me."

He pulls off his bandana and rakes his fingers through his hair. "Do you know how hard it is for me? Mi madre expects me to protect us by being in the Blood but is in denial. Julio wants me to prove I'm loyal to the Blood and you...the one person I feel like a can start a life with one day, you want me to prove I love you by doing something that could put me and my mama in danger. I _have_ to do this, you know. And nobody, not even you, is gonna change my mind."

"You'll risk what we have?"

"Dammit, don't do this. We don't have to risk anything."

"If you start dealing drugs, its over." Lovino winced at his own words but he continued. "I've jeopardized everything for you...for us. My friends. My Grandfather. Everything. Can't you do the same?" He had a scowl but his eyes showed he wanted to cry.

Antonio tosses his jacket at Lovino when his teeth started chattering. "Here. Put this on."

And that's it. This was his life. And if Lovino couldn't handle it then he could go back to Femke or whatever.

He tells him to take him to Ludwig's house. At first he wondered why but he didn't question it. Its not like Gilbert would be there; he was never home.

"I think we should work on the project separately." Lovino suggests. He hands Antonio back his jacket when they rich the house. "Do you want to put the hand warmers together or would you rather write the paper?"

"Whatever you want."

"Well I am a pretty decent writer.."

"Fine. I'll do the rest."

Lovino was silent. He looked at Antonio with a sad look that didn't suite him. "Antonio, it doesn't have to end this way."

He watched as tears began to fill his eyes. He has to leave before they fall down his face. That would definitely be Antonio's undoing.

"Yeah it does." he states, then drives off.

–

**Well hope ya'll enjoyed that chapter~ like I said. We're nearing the end :D /shot**

**reviews por favor?**


	19. Ti Amo

**FINALLY WE GET TO THIS CHAPTER :D I SO WANTED TO WRITE THIS SOOOO BAD AND HERE WE GO! HOPE YA'LL ENJOY. Also itll be both of their POVs towards the end. **

–

Lovino found himself in front of the tomato plantation that Antonio worked at. He took deep, slow breaths to keep himself from freaking out and running away. He stood there with a half unbuttoned shirt and rather tight fitting black pants. Around his waist was a long red cloth that wrapped around him a few times with a small bit of it hanging at the back. It closely resembled that of what I pirate might have worn. He muttered darkly.

"I'll make Gilbert pay for this..."

How did he get here again? Why was he here?

Oh right.

He was going to prove to Antonio he wasn't going to let him go through this alone.

At _all_ cost.

He shivered slightly thinking about it. But he was here, and he had to do the one thing he could think of to persuade Antonio. The events of the day before felt like decades had passed.

_Romano had lied in the bed, provided by Ludwig, sobbing into his pillow. Feliciano had stopped by to check on him after he left their house with Gilbert. He tried asking Lovino what had happened but every time he would try to talk he would go back to bawling pathetically into the pillow, possibly creating permanent tears stains into the fabric. Feliciano soon gave up trying to figure out what was troubling his twin, and settled with trying to comfort him. Eventually, Lovino managed to cry himself to sleep. In the morning he begged for the curtains to be drawn and keep the room dark. He had just wanted to stay in bed forever. Hours passed with Feliciano trying to boost-up Lovino's self-esteem, then Gilbert came with a huge grin on his face despite the busted lip he received from Antonio. Lovino had wanted to tell him off but before he could, Gilbert had asked him for a huge favor that Lovino couldn't reject._

And that's how he managed to find himself in this situation. Sighing he shut his eyes and quickly knocked on the door unbuttoning a few more buttons and opening his shirt more allowing the cold night air rush onto his exposed skin. He hears a slow creak indicating Antonio's presence. He dared to open his eyes only to be met with not Antonio, instead, it was Antonio's boss. Lovino quickly held his shirt closed together with one hand and he looked at the ground, embarrassed. Willing himself to not look at the other man's amused expression.

"Ah...Toni. There's a trick-or-treater here..." he chuckled.

Lovino's face was burning red no doubt, but he was determined to see through this.

"Who is it?" Antonio's voice came from somewhere in the vicinity.

"I was just leaving." His boss said sliding past Lovino. "Tell Antonio I'll be back in about 2 hours. Adios." He walked out to a parked car.

"Hey Ernie. Quien esta ahi?" Antonio's voice fades when he reaches the door. Eyebrows quirked as he looked at Lovino with an unreadable expression. "Need directions?"

"No..." Lovino looks up at him.

"Trick or treating on my side of town?"

"No."

Antonio sighed, looking at Lovino with slightly sad eyes despite his careless expression. "Its over, Lovi. Me oyes? Why do you keep coming and going, messing with my head? Besides are you suppose to be at the Halloween dance with some college chick?"

"I told her I wasn't going. Can we talk? Please?" Lovino pleaded.

"Listen, I have a lot of work that needs to be done. What did you come here for? And wheres Ernie?"

Lovino blushed remembering what happened and he looked back at his feet, suddenly interested in a pebble he saw. "He..kinda left...I think I scared him away..."

"I highly doubt that." but as soon as the words left his mouth Lovino took notice of how Antonio's eyes quickly seemed to soften as he skimmed over the Italian's outfit.

"Can you please let me in before I fucking freeze out here?" It was really chilly and the inside appeared welcoming.

Without a word, he steps to the side to let Lovino in and locks the door. Lovino looked around and realized how big the place really was. He never took notice before. But it was owned by a family so obviously it'd be a house of a sort. Still he was surprised.

"Listen, I'm actually glad you're here Lovi...but didn't we break up?" Antonio smiled but it held no truth behind it.

"I want us to try again." Lovino said quickly. "Pretending to just be chem partners has been pure torture. I can't fucking stand it anymore. And..." he paused. "I miss you...Do..Don't you miss me...?" He was frightened of the answer.

Antonio looked at him quizically and cocked his head to the side. "You know I'm still in the Blood, right?"

"I know..I don't care about that."

"I'll never be able to meet your expectations." Antonio countered.

"What if I said I didn't have any?"

Antonio takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as though debating with himself whether to believe him or not.

"How about you sit with me while I finish my dinner, and I won't even ask why your here as a...pirate. Deal?"

He nods and sub-consciously tries fixing his curl to lay flat.

"You don't have to do that." Antonio smiled grabbing Lovino's hand and leading him to the living room, sitting him down on a chair next to a pull-out bed. (obviously for guests)"Want some?" He pointed at his plate.

Lovino just stared at it. "Your eating tomatoes for dinner?"

"Yup." He smiled dumbly. "They're actually very good." He stabbed a slice with his fork and gave it to Lovino. Lovino took a bite and looked at it.

"Its...not awful." He ate the rest of it.

"Heh, I see you like it, huh?" His smile cheery smile quickly turned to something slightly darker. "I know something you'll like the taste of much better."

"Is that your cheap way of saying you want to kiss me?" Lovino rolled his eyes but smiled.

Antonio's gaze met Lovino's. "I always want to kiss you, mi amor."

"Well it won't be that easy, Antonio. I want some answers. Answers first, then kissing." Lovino crossed his arms.

Antonio stared at him dumbly.

Lovino smirked. "Let's play a game, Antonio. Every time you ask a question, you strip off one piece of clothing. Same goes for me."

"I figure I got 6. How many you got?"

"Take it off Antonio. That was a question."

He nodded and took off his shoe.

"Why don't you...start with your...uh..shirt?" Lovino asked nervously.

"Oh Lovi. I believe that was a question~ isn't that your cue to-"

"I did _not_ ask a question." he insisted.

"You asked why don't I start with my shirt." He grinned.

Lovino scowled and took off the red wrap-around, letting it fall to the ground. He knew Antonio was trying to act nonchalant, but he saw the growing hunger in his eyes. His grin disappeared as he licked his lips. Lovino looked down at himself and quickly remembered how much of himself was exposed. With the cloth gone, Antonio had a good view of his torso.

Antonio looked back to Lovino's face and rubbed his head in thought. "Hmm uh, oh. Whats the real reason for you being here?"

"I wanted..to show you how much I love you.." Lovino almost whispered. The words still alien on his tongue to someone like Antonio. As true as it was it was still rather odd.

Blinking a few times, Antonio just took his shirt off and flung it somewhere to the side. Lovino had to keep himself from staring as Antonio's washboard abs were revealed. He scooted closer to Antonio hoping to tempt the Spaniard.

"Do you want to go to college? The truth."

Antonio hesitated before sighing. "If my life was different..yes. I would."

Lovino kicked off a shoe.

"Did you ever have sex with Femke?" Antonio's face quickly went from playful to what appeared to be possessive as he asked.

"No." Lovino shook his head, scrunching his nose as though the thought alone disgusted him. Which it did.

Antonio pulled off his other shoe. His eyes never leaving Lovino's.

"Did you ever have sex with Rosa?"

Antonio winced. "You don't want to hear this.."

Lovino suddenly felt upset. "Yes I do. I want to know everything. How many people, your first time...fuck, all of it."

The Spaniard rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Ah...that's a lot of questions..ha.." he tried a laugh. "Rosa and I..we did. The last time was in May. Before I found out she had been sleeping around behind my back." He hesistated before continuing. "Before her was a bit of a blur...For a year I had a different girlfriend almost every week and I..slept with the majority of 'em." He looked away almost shamefully.

Lovino felt slightly heartbroken. "Did you always use protection?"

"Of course." Antonio responded quickly.

"What was your first time like?"

"My first time was with Eliza."

"Elizaveta?" Lovino asked, shocked.

Antonio nodded. "It wasn't like that. It happened the summer before freshmen year and we wanted to get the virginity thing over with and to see what the whole buzz about sex was. It sucked." He chuckled. "I fumbled around a lot and she laughed majority of the time. We agreed doing it with someone who treated as a sibling was a stupid idea. Now I told you everything. Take off the shirt now, por favor?" He tried his Spanish charms.

"Hold up, bastardo. If you slept with so many people how do I know you didn't catch some kind of disease? Did you get tested?"

Antonio had to supress a laugh. "Si, I'm clean Lovi. When I got stabbed sometime ago, at the free clinic they tested me. Trust me I'm clean."

"Ok.." Lovino took off another shoe, glad that Antonio didn't give him shit for all the questions. "Your turn."

"Do you ever think of making love to me?" he removed a sock before Lovino answered.

–

He watched as Lovino quickly turned red as he nodded. "Yes.." he answered. "Do you think about making love to me?" he quickly asked, shrugging off his shirt. He bit his lip anticipating his answer.

Antonio lied in bed most nights just dreaming about making love to his adorable Italian. Making love to him, holding him, laying next to him. "Right now Lovi, making love to you is all I can think about..." he checked his watch. He had to leave soon. Drug dealers could careless about people's personal lives. He couldn't be late. But he wanted Lovino so bad...to touch him. To love him. "You sure you want to keep going?"

"Yes." Lovino smiled. "Um..could you turn off the lights..?" he felt a sudden rush of insecurity course through him.

Antonio pecked Lovino and smiled softly. "You look beautiful, Lovi." But he turned off the lights anyway. When he turned back to where Lovino sat, he saw how nervous he was. He sat on the bed and motioned for Lovino to sit with him. "Come here, mi amor."

Lovino stood up and walked over to Antonio but felt the latter grab his hand and pull him down onto the bed. He stared up as Antonio's gaze met his. They both were silent and watched each for a moment. "So..is our little game over?" he swallowed hard.

"Its definitely over, querido. 'Cause what we're gonna do next is no game." He felt Lovino's soft hand press against his chest. He wondered if he could feel Antonio's heartbeat.

"I...uh..brought some things..." Antonio stood there stunned. Had he known this would have been the night...he would have been prepared. Guess he never thought his fantasy would become a reality. Lovino reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small bottle of lubrication, followed by a dozen condom packages.

Antonio smirked. "Planning on making this an all-nighter?"

Turning a deep red, Lovino covered his face. "I just grabbed a bunch.."

Antonio moved his hands away from his face and kissed Lovino's forehead and pressing his own against the Italian's. "I'm just joking, Lovi. Don't be embarrassed." He was going to hate leaving him tonight. He wished they could have an all-nighter. Anything to be with Lovino. His hands traveled about on Lovino's skin from his chest down to his stomach then to his abdomen. Feeling the soft skin underneath him as Lovino shuddered. Antonio went to unbutton Lovino's pants and begin pulling down the zipper.

"A-Aren't you going to take off your jeans?" Lovino looks into his eyes, a flash of worry going by.

"Yes. Soon.." He truly wanted to take his time with him. It was like being in heaven knowing the next stop was hell.

"I'm virgin, Antonio. What if I do everything wrong?" Lovino felt himself begin to panic.

"There is no wrong here, Lovi. This isn't a test. This is you and me...everything else is shut out." Antonio kissed him tenderly to prove his point. When he pulled away by an inch, he sees Lovino's eyes glistening. Was he crying? His gaze traveled down the Italian's body and he felt an ache in his heart. "I don't deserve you, querido..you know that right?"

Lovino rolled his eyes but tried a smile. "When are you going to realize you're one of the good guys?" When Antonio doesn't smile, he pulls the former's head down close to his and he whispers against his lips. "My body..is yours tonight. Do you want it?"

Antonio's breath hitched. "Oh dio Lovi, yes." He presses his lips again Lovino's.

Their soft kisses quickly became more passionate and deeper as Antonio brushed his tongue against Lovino's lips begging for entrance which Lovino happily obliged. As their tongues explored each others mouths, Antonio pulled down Lovino's pants revealing the large bulge that had grown from earlier. Lovino quickly undid Antonio's pants as well which Antonio quickly kicked off as Lovino's hand grabbed some of Antonio's hair and deepened the kiss. The Spaniard groaned as he felt their erections rub against each other through the fabric. Lovino gasped as he felt Antonio's lips go to his neck and began sucking and kissing leaving marks all over him. Marking him as his. The Italian's hands began roaming over Antonio's body. From his shoulders to his back and up and down his arms. Antonio nibbled on his ear enjoying the feeling of Lovino shivering underneath his touch. As he kissed the Italian, he removed his and Lovino's boxers in a swift motion. Lovino almost hadn't noticed, almost.

In the corner of Antonio's eye, he saw the bottle of lube and quickly grabbed it and opened it. Dipping his fingers in it. He watched Lovino and smiled, leaning over him again, one finger near the Italian's entrance. "Are you scared, Lovi?"

"A little...but..I trust you." Lovino looked deeply into Antonio's eyes.

The Spaniard nodded and slowly eased his finger inside Lovino. Lovino gasped and clutched onto Antonio's arms. It had felt a little odd, not painful, just odd. He lied there as Antonio began pushing his finger inside and out him of him.

"I'm about to add another finger, Lovi. Is that ok?" Antonio asked. He was normally sure of himself when it came to sex but not now. He was nervous. He wanted to let Lovino know how he has become the center of his life. He wanted to tell Lovino how much he loved him.

"I-Its fine. Go ahead.." Lovino hesitated slightly.

He added another finger and felt Lovino tense up at the intrusion. Lovino closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pain.

"Relax, precioso." Antonio whispered.

"Nnn..I'm...I'm trying." Lovino said through gritted teeth.

"This won't work unless you relax." He thought of something and quickly reached his hand down between them, grasping Lovino causing the Italian's eyes to shoot open and let out a moan. He continued moving his fingers inside Lovino with one hand, and rubbing his member with another. Lovino began writhing and moaning underneath him.

"An..tonio..Ahh..."

Antonio felt himself getting harder as Lovino moaned his name with desperation laced into his voice. He removed his fingers and went to reach for condom, his hands shaking. He looked back to Lovino. "You sure about this..?"

"Yes. Yes I'm sure...Ti Amo.." Antonio's heart skipped a beat. "Ti Amo.." Lovino said again almost desperately.

He lubed up his member and hovered over Lovino taking a deep breath. He let the words seep into his body and held himself back, not wanting to hurt Lovino.

Lovino sensed his hesitation. "Just do it."

He pressed himself at Lovino's entrance and eased in slowly feeling his walls tighten around him. He let out a groan, trying to maintain self-control. He looked at Lovino and felt his heart break.

Lovino closed his eyes tightly as more pain came. But he was happy, happy that Antonio was finally inside him, making love to him. He felt tears prick at his eyes but he didn't care, he let it fall down his cheek. After a moment he opened his eyes again to see Antonio let down a tear as well. Never before had he seen Antonio show that side of him, it overwhelmed him. He holds Antonio's head in his hands and kisses the tear away.

"Its okay Antonio..."

But it wasn't. He needed to make this perfect. He wasn't sure if he would get another chance and he wanted Lovino to know how good it could be.

After he thought Lovino had adjusted to his size, he started to move himself in and out of him in a slow rhythm. Lovino let out a few moans as the pain soon turned into pleasure. Antonio leaned in to kiss Lovino as he continued going in and out of him. The kisses weren't little pecks, but sloppy and chaste. He kissed down Lovino's neck as Lovino went to wrap his legs around Antonio's waist, pulling him in deeper into him. He was going to slow for his liking.

"Ah..Faster..." he moaned out.

He didn't need to be asked twice. He put a hand on each side of Lovino's hips and started thrusting faster into him. The pleasure was overwhelming him.

"Oh Lovi..Nn...You're..so..fucking tight..." he groaned out.

"Ah Antonio!" Lovino screamed in pleasure as he felt Antonio strike the bundle of nerves inside him. His legs tightened around him and he threw his arms around his neck.

Antonio smirked and aimed at that same angle again, striking that spot every time causing the Italian to cry out his name. Lovino soon began bucking his hips, meeting with Antonio's thrusts. His fingers tangled into Antonio's hair as he kissed him, pouring as much passion as he could. He moaned into the kiss as Antonio seemed to go faster and deeper inside him. He felt his member twitch when he heard Antonio groan animalistic nonsense, his eyes darkened with lust.

"Lovino...you're so beautiful...Como un angel.." he whispered huskily into Lovino's ear. Making the Italian shiver.

"Antonio...ah...fuck..." he felt a warmth coil inside his abdomen and he was sure he was getting close. The feeling was so great, he dug his nails into Antonio's back and bit down on his shoulder trying to keep from making more noise. Antonio took that as a challenge and did one particular thrust much harder than the rest making Lovino moan much louder than before.

"Fuck..Antonio!" He wasn't sure how much more he could handle, it felt so good and he knew he was close, but he didn't want it to end. He never wanted something as perfect as this to end.

"Antonio..I'm...Ah!" he cried as he felt Antonio's hand return to his member which was dripping with pre-cum. "I love you." he moaned out. "I love you, Antonio. Ti Amo..Ti Amo..." he chanted every time Antonio thrust into him.

Antonio dropped his head into the crook of Lovino's neck. "Oh Lovi...Te quiero...Te quiero mucho..." He whispered so softly Lovino wasn't sure he was suppose to hear it. Lovino kissed Antonio again shortly before throwing his head back and moaning as more pleasure shot up his spine. Antonio kissed his neck. "Cum for me Lovi...por favor..."

Lovino's hips were bucking wildly as he sought out his release. With one swift motion of Antonio's hand on his member timed with his thrust, Lovino clutched tightly onto Antonio as he came.

"Ah..Antonio..!" warm liquid spattered over his and Antonio's stomachs.

"Lovi..." Antonio soon came after with a groan.

He made sure to fall next to Lovino and pulled him into his arms. Lovino nestles into him as Antonio strokes his hair. They both were content to stay in their private world for as long as possible. He looked at the clock. It was almost time. He held Lovino tighter and swallowed hard. He never wanted to let him go, but he couldn't waste time. Lovino wasn't his forever, and had to stop pretending that he was.

"I have to go soon..."

–

**Oki well there goes that chapter :D this was my first time writing something like this so please dont hate me to much ;A; I really tried! BUT WE'RE GETTING CLOSE TO THE END! LIKE...2-3 MORE CHAPTERS :D I hope you enjoyed this chapter ^^**

**Please review~**


	20. Like father like son

** Ok sorry for not updating sooner ^^; Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart was suppose to update sometime last week so I was really waiting and watching out for it (literally I had my phone on me 24/7 and checked my email every 10 minutes all week). If you guys dont know it, its a BEAUTIFUL AMAZING SAD SJMVDSHFSB GERITA STORY MY GOD PROBABLY THE GREATEST FANFIC YOU WILL EVER READ EVER! You should go read it! Seriously! Its by George Devalier. Ok enough shameless promotion, here goes the story!**

–

"You're going to quit the Blood, right?" Lovino rests his chin on Antonio's chest.

His body stiffens. "No."

"But..." Lovino sat up and looked at him. "Everything is different now...We made love."

Antonio sighed. "What we did was wonderful. But it doesn't change anythin'."

Lovino's eyes widen and fill with sadness momentarily before changing to a scowl. He stood up, collecting his clothes and start dressing in a corner. "So...I'm just another person to add to your list of people you've slept with?" He said bitterly.

"Don't say that..."

"Why not?" Lovino turned, angry tears threatening to fall. "Its true isn't it?"

"Of course it isn't..." Antonio walked over to him after putting on his pants.

"Then prove it to me, Antonio."

Antonio looked helpless. "I can't..."

Lovino's heart fell once he realized there was no changing Antonio's mind. He never felt so hopeless, he loved this man with all his heart. This Spaniard that always managed to plague his mind no matter what he did.

"I'm sorry..." Antonio mumbles.

Lovino averts his eyes and walks out the front door as though he were a robot. There was a sound of tires screeching and Antonio ran next to Lovino.

"Get in your car." He ordered.

Before Lovino could ask, a vehicle, which looked like an RX-7, which carried a bunch of guys screeched to a half in front of them.

"No lo puedo creer, ganaste la apuesta!" A Cuban looking man yells from the window.

Antonio steps in front of Lovino as though trying to hide him, but to no avail.

"What is he saying?"

"Nothin'. He's just talkin' shit." his gaze never leaving the group of guys. "Get in your car. 'Cause if you don't I'm gonna put you in there."

Lovino goes to open his car door at the same time the Cuban opens his. "Don't be mad at Gilbert." then slides into his car and drives off.

–

_Don't be mad at Gilbert? What does he mean?_

"Shit, man." Carlos eyed the back of his BMW with appreciation. "I had to find out if what Ernie was shittin' me. Did you really fuck Lovino Vargas? Or did you just get video of him bein a fag?"

Antonio's answer was a savage punch to Carlos' gut, making him fall to his knees. Antonio straddled his motorcycle and revved the engine. When he sees Ernie's Camry, he stops by his car.

"Listen, Toni," Ernie says through the open window. "Lo siento mucho-"

"I quit." Antonio interrupts before throwing the keys to the plantation at Ernie and rides away.

As he drives home, his thoughts revolve around Lovino. How much he really cared about the Italian, and what he would do to keep him at his side. It broke his heart the way Lovino's eyes were filled with sadness and anger towards him.

The reality hits him.

He's not doing the drug deal.

Now he understood those crazy novelas his mother watched. Because now, he was the sappy tough guy willing to risk everything and change his life for the girl.

_Or guy in this case..._

Estoy enamorado. He was in love.

Fuck the Blood. He could protect his family and be true to himself first. Lovino was right. His life was too important to throw away on a drug deal. He really wanted, instead, to go to college and make something good out of his life. He wasn't like his father. His father was a weak man who took the easy way out. He'll take the challenge required to leave the Blood, forget the risk. And if he survived...he'll go back to Lovino a free man.

He wasn't a drug dealer. He'll be letting Julio down, but his reasons for being in a gang was to help protect his neighborhood and his mom, not deal drugs. Ever since he got pulled over, everything snowballed from there. He got arrested, Julio bailed him out,. Right after he asked questions of other OG's about the night his father died, Julio and his mom got into a heated discussion. She had bruises on her. After that, Julio was all over him with the drug deal.

Gilbert tried to warn him; he was convinced something wasn't right.

The more he thought about it, everything seemed to fall together. But there was still one part of the puzzle missing. Was the answer right in front of him? There was one person who can tell him the truth about the night his father died.

He stormed into his house and finds his mom in her room. "You know who killed papa."

"Antonio, don't..."

"It was someone in the Blood, wasn't it? The night at the wedding, Julio and you were talkin' about it. He knows who it is. You know too."

Tears start forming in her eyes. "Antonio, I'm warning you. Don't do this.."

"Who was it?" He ignored her plea, getting more furious.

She looks away from him.

"Tell me!" He screams at the top if his lungs, His words make her flinch.

Ever since his father's death, all he wanted to do was take his mom's hurt away. He never thought to ask about his father's demise. Or maybe he didn't want to know, afraid to know the truth. Her breathing is slow and jerky as she puts her hand over her mouth.

"Julio...it was Julio." It takes a moment to sink in. But when it does, dread, shock, and pain spreads through his body. His mother looks up at him with sad eyes.

"I just wanted to protect you..That's all. Your papa wanted out of the Blood, and got killed for it. Hector wanted you to replace him. He threatened me, Antonio, and said if you didn't get jumped in we would end up like your father-"

He couldn't listen anymore. He ran into his room as his mind began racing. Julio set him up so that he could get arrested so he could owe him. And set up the drug deal, fooling him to believe it was a step-up and not a trap. He hurried to his dresser, his mind made up to do one thing. Confront his father's killer.

The gun is gone.

"Ma...did you go through my drawer?" He tried not to let his anger slip.

"No, Antonio. Gilbert came by earlier saying he was to borrow one of your jackets."

Gilbert took his gun. He should have known. But how did Gilbert know he wasn't going to be home in time to catch him?

Lovino.

Lovino had distracted Antonio on purpose. He said not to be mad at Gilbert. They were both trying to protect him, because he was to stupid and scared to stick up for himself. Lovino's words as he got in his car echoed through his mind. _Don't be mad at Gilbert._

He hurries back to his mom's room. "Ma. If I don't come back tonight, you have to leave to Spain. I don't care how just leave.

"But Antonio-"

He sits on the edge of her bed. "Mama...your in danger. Save yourself from my fate, please."

"Your father spoke like that.."

"Promise me. I need to hear you say it. I'm dead serious."

Tears began streaming down her face. She kisses his cheek and hugs him tight. "I promise..."

As he hops on his motorcycle, he does what he never thought he would ever do.

Call the cops, and tell them whats going down.

–

Lovino sat in front of Ludwig's house for five minutes. He still couldn't believe what he and Antonio did. Despite what happened afterward, he couldn't find it in him to regret it. No matter what Antonio says, he knew it was important for him as well. Tonight he sensed a feeling of desperation from Antonio, though, as if he was trying to prove something to him through actions instead of words. He was pissed off at himself for getting emotional. But he couldn't help it. He was happy and in love. When he saw a tear escape Antonio's eye, he kissed it. He wanted to save it forever since it was the first Antonio had ever been so open to him like that.

Tonight changed Antonio. It also changed Lovino himself, he could feel it.

He walks into Ludwig's house and is surprised to find Ludwig sitting on the living room couch with Feliciano sitting next to him, their grandfather across from them.

"This looks a lot like an intervention.." Lovino quirks an eyebrow.

"Not an intervention." Ludwig shakes his head.

"A talk, Lovi." Feliciano states.

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Their grandfather looks at him tiredly. "Your not living at home."

Lovino switched between looking at his grandfather and at Feliciano. He couldn't help but wonder how they had gotten to this point. His grandfather's eyes was bloodshot, he's been up all night, he can tell.

"I can't play the perfect grandson anymore. I'm not perfect." He looked to his guardian. "Can't you accept that?"

His grandfather shakes his head. "Lovino, this has gone long enough. Stop pouting, stop rebelling, stop being so damn selfish. I don't want you to be perfect. I just want you to be the best you can be, that's all."

"Why? Because I can't be as good as Feliciano?"

Feliciano's eyes went wide and Ludwig tightened his hold on the Italian's hand.

"Don't bring your brother into this. He has nothing to do with your behavior." His grandfather crossed his arms.

"Why not? He's your favorite, isn't he?" Lovino felt defeated. No matter what he says it'll never come out right. He sits on one of the seats in front of them. "Just so you know, I didn't run away. I'm just staying at Feliciano's best friends house."

His grandfather looked around, grimacing at the rather small and not so luxurious house before looking back to Lovino. "Thank Goodness for him atleast. Feliciano has been keeping me up to date about you through him."

Lovino looked at Ludwig who merely shrugged, keeping that stern look on his face. He gets up to go to the door to hand out candy to late trick-or-treaters who just rang the door bell.

Roma straightens up on the edge of the couch. "What will it take for you to come home?"

"I don't know." There was so much he wanted he doubt his grandfather was even capable of giving.

"Is it that bad?"

"No. Not bad but...stressful. It stresses me and Feliciano when you come and go as you please, then those times you'd come drunk with some skank hanging off of your arm. I love you dearly but I don't always want to be the best I can be. I just want to be myself. I want to be able to make mistakes and learn from them instead of freaking out over them." he choked back tears. "I don't want to let you down. I know I can never be as good as Feliciano..."

Feliciano kneels next to Lovino. "Oh Lovi, Grandpa doesn't think that way I'm sure. He just sees extra potential in you so he just wants to see you do good, right Grandpa?"

"Lovino.." Roma sighed. "I don't love Feliciano more than you. I love you both equally. Yes there are things that Feliciano can do naturally that you can't but there are characteristics you have that even Feli lack. But I just want you to be really good with those things so then you could be just as good as him."

"Grandpa..I'm not always going to date the girls you want me to date-"

"Well that's easy to see."

"-I'm not always going to dress the way you want me to dress, and i'm most definently not going to always act the way you want me to. Feliciano may not always live up to your expectations either." he motioned to Feliciano's hand clasped around Ludwig's.

Roma exhaled deeply and let it out slowly. "I know."

"Will you ever be okay with it?"

He shook his head, eyes never leaving Feliciano and Ludwig. "Probably not."

"Your so goddamn critical, oh my God, I would cut off my fucking leg for you to stop blaming me for everything that goes wrong. Love me for who I am. Love Feliciano for who he is. Life is to short to be focusing on the negatives in life." Lovino shouted.

"You don't want me being concerned because you decided to date a man? A gang member at that."

"Well if you weren't so damn judgmental, I'd share it with you. I would have gladly introduced you to him. He's so much more than what he appears on the outside. If I have to sneak around to be with him, then i'll do it."

"He's a gang member." Roma says dryly.

"His name is Antonio." Lovino bit back.

His grandfather leans back. "Knowing his name doesn't change the fact that he's in a gang, Lovino."

"No it doesn't. But it sure as hell is in the step in the right direction."

It took an hour for Lovino to get Roma to agree to not hover over him as much. Also for him to agree to be home before six twice a week. Feliciano had also decided to fully come out to his grandfather and announce his love and dedication to Ludwig. Roma still trying to find it in him to accept the both of his grandson's decisions. Lovino agreed to have Antonio come by the house so he could meet Roma. Lovino wanted to try making things right with his grandfather because it was always better to pick up the pieces instead of leaving them the way they are.

–

The deal is suppose to happen here, right at the forest preserve. The parking lot and the area beyond are dark, the only light he has being the moonlight to guide him. The place looked deserted, save for the blue sedan that had its lights on. Antonio walked further into the woods and caught a glimpse of a dark figure lying on the ground.

He runs towards it while dread washes over him. He recognizes his jacket as he nears. He felt his stomach coil; it was like seeing his own death in front of his eyes. Falling to his knees he quickly turned the body over.

Gilbert.

"Oh, fuck." Antonio cried as he felt warm crimson liquid soak his hands.

Gilbert's normally piercing red eyes are now dull and glazed over, but he moves his hands slowly and grabs onto Antonio's arm tightly. "Hey..Toni.." he coughed, blood spurting out. "I fucked up..."

"Shit, Gilbert...Why the fuck..How.." Antonio couldn't form words. His heart was racing as he tried thinking of how he could help his fallen friend.

"Just savin' your ass as usual." Gilbert tried a laugh but went into a violent coughing fit. His hand on Antonio trembling.

Antonio, for the second time that night, felt tears well up but he refused to let them fall. He needed to be strong for the both of them. He rested Gilbert's head on his thighs.

"I told you to stop interferin' with my life." His voice shook. "Don't die on me, you better not die on me." he choked out. Looking over his friend's trembling body. "Holy fuck, you're bleeding all over..."

Once Gilbert stopped hacking his tried to sit up but to no avail and he looked into Antonio's wide eyes. Bright red blood streams out of his mouth,

"I'm scared.." he whispers, then winces in pain. His hold on Antonio's arm beginning to loosen.

"Don't leave me." Antonio pleaded. "Hold on, it'll be fine." He held Gilbert tightly, knowing he probably just lied to him. His best friend was dying in front of him and there wasn't a damn thing he could do. He felt helpless, he felt his friend's pain as though it were his own.

"Well won't you lookie here. Its pretend Antonio and his sidekick, the real Antonio. Some Halloween, ain't it?"

Antonio turns to the sound of Julio's voice.

"Its a shame I couldn't tell it was Gilbert I was shooting at." he continues. "Man, with that silver hair you would think I could tell the difference. Maybe I should get my eyes checked." He pulls the gun on Antonio.

He wasn't scared. Or angry. He wanted answers. "Why did you do this?" His voice dark and murderous.

Julio shrugged. "If you must know, it's your father's fault. He wanted out of the Blood. But there is no out, Toni. He was the best we had, your padre. Right before he died he, he tried to quit. That last drug deal was his challenge, Toni. Father-son drug deal. You both survive, he wins." He cackles, the sound reverberating in Antonio's ears. "The stupid motherfucker didn't stand a chance. You're too much like your old man. I thought I could train you to take his place. But nooo." he waved his hand in a mocking manner. "You really are like your old man. A quitter...un rajado."

Antonio looks down at Gilbert. He's hardly breathing, the air barely making it out of his lungs. He watched as the blood-stain on Gilbert's chest grew, looking like a bulls-eye. It reminds him of his father. This time, though, he wasn't six years old. Everything was clear as day.

His eyes met with Gilbert's for an intense second.

"The Latino Blood betrayed us both." he coughed out, his his fist clenching from the force.

"Hold on Gilbert hold on." Antonio pleaded, holding him tighter.

Gilbert quickly grabbed Antonio's hand, wincing as he did so. "Tell...Elizaveta..That I'm sorry.." he gasped for air that wouldn't come. "And..that I...Love..." Antonio watched in despair as his friend mouthed the last word before his eyes glaze over completely, his hand dropping Antonio's as he falls limp in Antonio's arms.

"Gilbert..." Antonio cried.

No response.

"No Gil...you can't.." Antonio's hands trembled underneath his friend. "Gil...please wake up..please..."

"Put him down already! He's dead, Antonio. Just like your old man. Get up and face me!" Julio yells, waving his gun in the air.

Antonio gently lay Gilbert's lifeless body on the ground and stand, ready to fight.

"Put your hands on your head so I can see 'em. You know, when I killed el vejo you cried like an escuincle, a baby, Antonio. You cried in my arms, the guy who killed him. Ironic, huh?"

He was only six. If he had known it was Julio, he wouldn't have joined the Blood. "Why did you do it, Julio?"

"Boy you'll never learn, will you? You see, tu papa thought he was better than me. I showed him, didn't I? He bragged that the south side of Fairfield was a cut above since the high school was in a rich hood. Said in Fairfield there were no gangs. I changed that, Toni. Got my guys to go in and make every household belong to me. It was either come to me or lose everything. That, my boy, is what makes me el jefe."

"It makes you a lunatic."

"Lunatic. Genius. Same thing." Julio pushes Antonio with the gun. "Now get on your knees. I think this is a good place for you to die. Right here in the woods, like an animal. You want to die like an animal, Antonio?"

"Your the animal, asshole. You could at least look me in the eye when you murder me. Like you did to my father."

When Julio walks around him, Antonio finally has a chance. Grabbing Julio's wrist, he forces him to the ground. Julio swears and is fast to his feet, the gun still in his hand. Antonio uses Julio's disorientation to his advantage and kicks him in the side. Whirling around, Julio knocks the side of Antonio's head with the butt of the gun. He falls on his knees, cursing the fact that he wasn't invincible.

Thoughts of his father and Gilbert give him strength to fight back through the blur. He was all to aware Julio was trying to get a good shot at him. When he kicks Julio back, he scrambles to his feet. Julio's Glock is pointed directly at Antonio's chest.

"This is the police! Drop your weapons and put your hands in the air where we can see them!"

Through the woods and the haze, Antonio can barely see red and blue lights flashing in the distance.

He raises his hands. "Drop it, Julio. The game is over."

Julio holds the gun steady, aimed at his chest.

"Put the gun down." the police call out. "Now!"

Julio's eyes are wild. Antonio swore he could feel the rage from five feet away. He knew he was going to do it. Es un cabron.

He was going to pull the trigger.

"You're wrong, Antonio." he grins manianicly. "The game has just begun."

The whole thing happens fast. Antonio moves to the right as the shots ring out, A distinct popping noise erupting the air. He felt the burn of a bullet through his skin, feeling it penetrate the muscle underneath. He staggers backward when he realizes he had been hit, watching as his world began to spin and blur.

Then his world goes black.

–

**Reviews, por favor~?**


	21. Paradise Lost

At five in the morning, Lovino is awakened when he hears his cell phone ring loudly. He quickly grabs it and sees that it was Elizaveta blowing up his phone. He groaned and picks it up.

"Do you know what time it is?" He answers sleepily. His eyes remained closed as he spoke.

"He's dead, Lovino. He's gone." Her voice was frantic and hoarse. As though she had been crying for a while.

"Who?" he sits straight up.

"Gilbert.." her voice cracks and she starts to sob. Lovino feels his heart break at the news. He hadn't been close to Gilbert, but he knew what he meant to Eliza and Antonio.

"Eliza I-"

"And...I didn't know if I should call you, but you'll find out eventually. Antonio was there also and-"

He's wide awake now. His fingers tighten on the phone. "Where's Antonio? Is he okay?" She simply broke into more sobs as she spoke, unable to make out words. "Eliza...Please tell he's okay. I beg of you, please."

"He was shot." Her voice was below a whisper.

Lovino's breath hitches and he feels his heart hammer against his chest as he waited for her to say the dreaded words. He tries to prepare his mind for the worse but it doesn't come.

"He's in surgery at Lakeshore Hospital."

Before she finished her sentence, Lovino whips the blanket off him and rips his pajamas off only to throw some clothes on. He runs and grabs his keys and runs down the steps skipping 4 steps at a time almost falling. He heads out the door still holding his cell phone tight to his ear as Elizaveta tells him the details of all she knows.

The drug deal went horribly; ending with Gilbert and Julio dead. Antonio was shot and is now in surgery. That's all she knew.

"But Gilbert isn't even in the Blood! Why the fuck was he shot?"

She sighed heavily. "I don't know...the stupid asshole...he was getting involved in something that didn't even involve him.." He could hear her trying to keep from breaking.

He hangs up with her and he drives to the hospital. He felt his eyes sting as he drove, his hands were so tight on the wheel that his knuckles turned a pale white. He was sad. He was angry. He was scared. He felt every negative emotion possible but he continued to drive to the hospital. That evening he spent with Antonio he was so sure he would have chose Lovino over the drug deal. Antonio may have betrayed their love, but Lovino can't. Won't. Deep sobs rack his body. Gilbert had assured him yesterday he was going to make sure Antonio didn't do the drug deal. That's when it hit him.

Gilbert took Antonio's place and ended up dead.

The realization made Lovino want to puke. He regretted at that moment of ever being nasty to the albino man. He tries to drown the images of Antonio not making it through the surgery. Lovino knew deep down that a part of him would die with his Spanish lover.

He makes it to the hospital and asks the receptionist where he should go to wait for updates on Antonio's condition. The women asks him to spell Antonio's name, then types it on her keyboard. The clacking noise of her long, manicured nails typing away drives Lovino up the wall. She was taking so long, he wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her into going faster.

The woman looks at him with a suspicious look. "Are you family?"

"Yes."

"Relation?"

"Brother." he says quickly.

She stares at him for a moment before shaking her head in disbelief. She shrugs. "Antonio Carriedo was brought in with a gunshot wound."

"Is he going to be okay?" He cried.

The lady punched her keyboard again. "It seems he's been in surgery all morning, _Mr. Carriedo. _The waiting room is the orange room down the hall on the right. The doctor will inform you of your _brother's_ prognosis after surgery."

He clutch the counter. "Thank you."

In the waiting room, Lovino freezes as he sees Antonio's mother huddled in the corner, sitting on the orange colored hospital chairs. She looks up first. Her eyes bloodshot and tears stream down her face. Lovino's balls his fists trying to contain his sobs but it fails. Tears well in his eyes and the room became blurry. But through it, he could see Mrs. Carriedo open her arms to him. Overwhelmed by emotion he runs into her embrace.

His hand twitched.

Lovino lifts his head from Antonio's bed. He had been sitting beside him through the night waiting for him to wake up. Antonio's mother hasn't budged either. The doctor had told them that it could be hours before he was conscious. Lovino sighed and wet a paper towel from the hospital room sink dabs it on Antonio's forehead. He has been repeating this process throughout the night as he sweated and thrashed in a restless sleep.

His eyes flutter. Lovino could tell he's fighting the sedation as Antonio forces them open. "Where am I?" His voice was scratchy and faint.

Lovino felt relief as he heard him speak and so did Mrs. Carriedo as she smiled sadly. "The hospital."

"You were shot..." Lovino's voice was full of agony.

Antonio's brows furrowed in confusion. "Gilbert..." His voice hitched.

"Don't think about that right now." Lovino tried holding his emotion with little success. He needed to be strong for Antonio now and wasn't going to let him down.

He noticed how Antonio tried reaching for Lovino's hand but a pained expression crosses his face and he pulls back. Lovino had so much to say to him. He beat himself up, wishing he could somehow go back in time and save Antonio and Gilbert from their awful fates.

Antonio's eyes are glassy from drowsiness and meets Lovino's eyes. "Why are you here?"

Lovino watched as Mrs. Carriedo rubs Antonio's arm, trying to comfort him. "Lovino has been here all night, Antonio. He's worried about you."

After a moment, without looking away from Lovino, he sighs. "Let me talk to him. Alone." He says weakly.

His mother nods and exits the room, giving them privacy.

Once they're alone, Antonio tries to adjust his position, wincing as he did so. Once he fixed himself he shoots a glare at Lovino. "I want you to leave."

"You don't mean that.." Lovino reaches for his hand. He knew Antonio didn't mean it. He couldn't.

Antonio jerks his hand away, as though Lovino's skin burned him. "Yes I do."

Lovino swallowed hard. "I don't know whats going on with you; but we can get through this together. I love you."

Antonio turns his head and stares at the floor. He clears his throat. "I fucked you because of a bet, Lovino." He almost whispers, but the words come out crystal clear. "It didn't mean anything to me. You don't mean anything to me."

Lovino steps back as Antonio's harsh words dig into his brain. "No.." it barely came out.

"You and me...it was a game. I bet Carlos' RX-7 that I could fuck you by Halloween."

Lovino cringed when Antonio referred to their lovemaking as a "fuck". Calling it sex would have left a bitter taste in his mouth. Calling it a "Fuck" made his stomach churn. He keeps his hands at his sides. He wanted more than anything for Antonio to take back his words. "You're lying."

Antonio turns his gaze from the floor and looks into Lovino's eyes. Lovino felt his heart drop.

There was no emotion in Antonio's eyes.

It was dark, and steely. Almost like when they first met in the parking lot only worse. "You're pathetic if you think this thing between us was real."

Lovino began shaking his violently. "Don't hurt me Antonio. Not you. Not now." His lips were trembling and he felt dizzy. His legs felt like they would give out on him. He wanted to run as Antonio's eyes bore into his with such apathy of the situation. But he needed to stay. Make Antonio realize he was making a mistake. He mouthed a silent plea. "Please."

When he doesn't respond, Lovino took another step back almost stumbling as he thought about him. The him that only Antonio knew. In a pitiful whisper he tells him. "I trusted you."

"That was your mistake. Not mine."

Antonio touches his left shoulder and winces in pain before a group of his friends bust into the room. They all offer him condolences and sympathy while Lovino stood there in the corner, completely invisible. He felt his anger build the more he watched the group smile and laugh as they tried to play off the situation as though it was normal. His anger boiled over when he saw Antonio smile along with them.

"Was it _all_ for the bet?" He almost shouts over the commotion.

The six or so people in the room stop what they were doing and stare at the Italian. Even Antonio. Elizaveta pushed her way through the crowd and steps toward Lovino but he holds up his hand and stops her.

"Is it true? Did Antonio make a bet to have sex with me?" He tries to keep his anger leveled but with little success. He still couldn't wrap his brain around the awful words Antonio told him. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't.

All eyes drift to him, but Antonio's penetrate Lovino's.

"Tell him" he orders.

A guy named Marco lifts his head up. "Well uh, yea." He glances at Antonio apparently shocked he actually had sex with a guy. But looks back to Lovino. "He won Carlos' RX-7."

That was it for Lovino. He backs to the door of the room, trying to hold his head high. There was fire in his veins and he felt it boiling out like a flood. A cold hard expression settles on Antonio's face.

Lovino had to resist the urge to smash something or _someone_. "Congratulations, bastard. You win. I hope you like you're new fucking car. Assholes."

As he grabs the door handle to leave, Antonio's steely glare turns to relief. He yanks the door open and speed walks out of the room, his rage on full blast. He hears Elizaveta come up behind him when he's in the hallway but he runs away from her, the hospital, and Antonio. He couldn't, however, run from his heart. It hurt so much. More than he thought was possible. The words had dug deep and it made it hurt emotionally and physically. His legs felt like rubber, he was lightheaded. His heart thumped against his ribcage so hard he thought it would burst. He felt a lump in his throat that wouldn't go away. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch every last person that ever stood in his and Antonio's way. He wanted to hit Antonio. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to kiss away his pain and comfort him.

He knew he would never be the same.


	22. Doomsday

**HOOOOOOOLY CRAAAAP. How long has it been? WOW. And I swore I wouldnt be that one author that never updated! XD I was actually suppose to go back and edit the past chapters (apologies to my beta ;A;) buuut school has been an arse . so I will try to finish the story now, then once I finish I will go back and edit everything. But again, sorry for not updating ;-;**

–

Antonio was getting pissed off, and rather quickly. He has been holed up in the hospital for more than a week now and he was _loathing_ it. He hated nurses with their fake cheeriness, he hated fucking needles, the countless tests he's undergone, and he _especially_ hated the short ass hospital gowns. It seemed to him that the longer he stayed there, the crabbier he became. Alright so _maybe_ he shouldn't have cussed out at the nurse that took out his catheter. But her happy-go-lucky attitude rubbed him the wrong way.

He didn't want to see anyone, let alone talking. He has finally come to the conclusion that the less people he had in his life, the better. He managed to shove Lovino out of his life, and it killed him to hurt his former lover. But he had no other option. The closer Lovino got to him, the more his life was in danger. And Antonio wasn't going to sit there let what happened to Gilbert, happen to the boy he...

_Stop thinking about him. _He mentally kicked himself.

The people in his life that he cared about die, it was as simple as that. His father, now Gilbert. He was foolish to believe he could have everything he wanted.

There was a knock at the door and Antonio glared daggers into it. He balled up his fists and clenched his teeth. "Go away!" he screamed.

The knock persisted.

"Fuckin' leave me alone!"

The door creaked open, but Antonio was quick and grabbed the plastic cup next to him, hurling it at the opening door. The cup doesn't hit a hospital employee, rather, it hits Mr. Honda square in the chest. Antonio felt himself taken aback at the surprise visit.

"Oh, shit. Not you." he groaned, letting his head fall against the back of the bed. Not bothering to hide his annoyance.

Mr. Honda pushed back his glasses from the tip of his nose. "That's not exactly the greeting I was expecting, Antonio." he said in that emotionless tone he seemed to always speak in. "I can still give you a detention for using such foul language, you know."

Antonio turned to his side, refusing to look at his teacher. "Did you come here to give me detention slips? 'Cause if you did then you can just forget it. I'm not going back to that damn school. Thanks for visitin', so sad to see you go so soon."

"I'm not going anywhere until you hear me out." The elder man stood his ground, watching the younger.

Oh no. That was the last thing he wanted. He did not want to have to hear his chemistry teacher lecture him. He quickly pressed the button calling for the nurse.

"Can we help you, Antonio?" a voice crackled through the speaker.

"I'm bein' tortured." he stated.

"I beg your pardon?"

Mr. Honda walks over to him and takes the speaker from him. "My apologies. He is merely joking. Sorry to have bothered you." He then puts the speaker on the night desk, purposefully keeping it out of the Spaniard's reach. "Don't they give you happy pills in this place?" He sighed wearily.

"I don't want to be happy." Antonio grumbled.

Mr. Honda leaned forward, his straight bangs brushing the frame of his glasses. "Antonio, I'm sorry about what happened to Gilbert. I saw how close you two were in class."

Antonio watched the outside as Mr. Honda spoke. He didn't want to talk about Gilbert, he didn't want to talk to anyone about anything. "Why'd you come here?"

He could hear rustling as Mr. Honda pulls something from the suitcase he held. "I brought you some work to do, for you to catch up until you come back to class."

"I'm not comin' back. I already told you, I'm droppin out. It shouldn't surprise you, Mr. H. I'm a gang member, remember?" What does it take for this man to understand that?

The Japanese man walks around the bed, coming into Antonio's line of vision. A frown graced his face. "I guess I was wrong about you, Antonio. I would have bet you'd be the one to break the mold."

"Yeah, well, maybe that was before my best friend got shot. It was supposed to be, you know." Antonio stared at the chemistry book in Mr. Honda's hand and all that it meant to him. What was and what can never be. He shut his eyes and balled his fists, his heart beginning to feel heavy, his throat felt dry. "He wasn't supposed to die, dammit! I was!" He willed away the stinging he felt in his eyes.

Mr. Honda doesn't even flinch, only nods sage-like. "But you didn't. You think you're doing Gilbert a favor by quitting school and giving up? Consider it a gift he gave you, Antonio, instead of a curse. Gilbert isn't coming back, but you can." Mr. Honda places the chem book on the window ledge. "I've had more students die than I ever thought possible in my career. My brother urges me to quit Fairfield and teach at some school without gang members who live their lives only to die or end up as drug dealers."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he looks down at his hands. "I stay at Fairfield hoping I can make a difference, be a role model. Mr. Kirkland believes we can bridge the gaps, and so do I. If I can just change one of my students' lives, I can-"

"Change the world?" Antonio interjected, his eyes never leaving the chem book.

"Maybe."

"You can't. It is what it is.

He looked to Antonio, totally undefeated. "Antonio." he sighed wearily. "You're so wrong. It is what you make it. If you think you can't change the world, then go on and follow the path already carved out for you. But there are other roads to choose, they're just harder to trudge through. Changing the world isn't easy, but I sure as hell am going to keep trying. Are you?" He tried a small, encouraging smile.

"No." Antonio said flatly.

"That's our prerogative. I'm going to keep trying anyway." He pauses, then continues. "Do you want to know how your chemistry partner is holding up?"

He shakes his head, ignoring the pain in his chest. "Nope. Don't care." The words almost got stuck in his throat.

Mr. Honda furrows his eyes brows and groans in frustration, then walks over to the window ledge and picks up the chemistry book. "Should I take this back with me, or leave it here?"

Antonio doesn't answer.

Mr. Honda puts the book back on the ledge and heads for the door.

"I wish I'd chosen biology instead of chemistry." He says as his teacher opens the door to leave.

Mr. Honda looks back at Antonio and gives a knowing smile. "No you don't. And just so you know, Mr. Kirkland will be coming to visit later today. I'd advise against throwing things at him as we walks through the door."

–

Two weeks have passed and Antonio was finally, _finally_ released from the hospital. His mother and him moved to Spain, hoping to get away from all that had happened in America. A month later, Antonio got a job as a valet at a hotel, with whitewashed walls and pillars in the front entrance that resembled to what _may _have been found in Ancient Rome. He acted as an interpreter when needed, since his English was better than most of the employees'. When he went out with the guys after work, they had tried to set him up with some Spanish girls that hung around when they were on their shifts. The girls were beautiful, sexy, and definitely knew how to tempt a guy. He would have been the luckiest guy there what with all the women that wanted to get with him. The problem was, they weren't Lovino.

He needed to get that boy out of his head. And fast.

And he tried, so bad he tried to forget. One night a dark haired Italian girl staying at the hotel brought him up to her room. At first he thought it would take having sex with another Italian to erase that one night he had with Lovino. He had her all hot and bothered on her bed and oh so ready for him to take her right then, coaxing him in her native tongue when he froze.

He realized then that Lovino had ruined every other person for him.

It wasn't Lovino's gender, not his smile, not even his eyes. All of that surface stuff made the world see him as beautiful, but it was the deeper stuff that made him different. It was the protective way he got when someone hurt his brother, the way he took chemistry so seriously, the way he showed his love even when he knew very well what and who Antonio was. He was about to do a drug deal, something Lovino was adamantly against, and he still loved him.

So now, three months after the shooting, he's back in Fairfield about to face what Mr. H would call Antonio's greatest fear.

–

Ernie is sitting at his desk at the auto body shop, shaking his head disapprovingly. They talked about Halloween night and all that happened. Antonio forgave him for whatever involvement he's had in letting Carlos know he'd been with Lovino.

Ernie lets out a long, slow breath after Antonio tells him what he was going to do. "You could die." He says finally, looking up at Antonio.

He nods. "I know.."

"I won't be able to help you. None of your friends in the Blood can help you. Please, reconsider this, Antonio. Go back to Spain and enjoy the rest of your life."

He's made his choice and had no intention of backing out now. "I'm not gonna be a coward. I need to do this. I need to quit the Blood."

"For him?"

"Yeah." and for his father, and for Gilbert. And for him and his mother.

"What good is quitting the Blood if you end up dead?" Ernie asks. "Your jumping in will seem like a holiday party compared to this. They'll even make OG's participate."

Instead of answering, Antonio hands him a piece of paper with a phone number on it. "If anythin' happens to me, call this guy. He's the only friend I've got who's not connected." Not connected to the Blood or Lovino.

–

That night, Antonio is facing a warehouse full of people who consider him a traitor/ He's been called a bunch og other things tonight, too. An hour ago he told Chuy, the guy that took over Julio's position, he wanted out. A clean break from the Latino Bloods. Just one little hitch...in order to do that, he needed to survive their gauntlet. A 360 violation.

Chuy, stiff and stern and huge as fuck, steps forward with a Latino Blood bandanna. Antonio scans the onlookers. His friend Pedro is standing in the back, his eyes averted. Javier and Carlos are there, too, their eyes blazing with excitement. Javier is a crazy motherfucker and Carlos is not happy he lost the bet even though Antonio never collected. Both will enjoy being able to beat the shit out of him while he couldn't fight back.

Ernie, is leaning against the wall in the corner of the warehouse. He'll be expected to participate in the challenge, to aid in breaking whatever bones possible until Antonio passed out. Loyalty and commitment mean everything to the LB. You break that loyalty, you break that commitment...you're good as an enemy their eyes. Worse even, because you _were_ oneof them. If Ernie steps forward to protect Antonio, he's toast.

Antonio stands proud while Chuy covered his eyes with the bandanna.

_I can do this_ he told himself. _I can do this.. _he repeated mentally.

He could do this. If it brings him to Lovino in the end, it's all worth it. He's not even gonna think about the other option.

After his hands are bound behind his back, he's led to a car and shoved into the backseat while two people flanked him. They called him all kind of foul things as his back was repeatedly whipped. He clenched his teeth, trying to ignore the stinging pain that built in his skin, his back no doubt a burning red at this point. He has no clue where they're headed. Since Chuy is in charge now, anything is possible.

A note. He never wrote a note. What if he died and Lovino never knows how he truly feels about him? Maybe its a good thing. He'll be able to get on with his life easier thinking Antonio was a prick who betrayed him and never looked back.

Forty-five minutes later the car is off-road. He could tell by the sound of gravel crunching underneath the tires. Maybe knowing where he was would take the edge off, but he still couldn't see for shit. He's not nervous, not at all. More like anxious to know if he'll be one of the lucky ones to survive. And even if he does survive, will someone find him? Or will he die alone in some barn, warehouse, or abandoned building? Maybe they're not going to beat him. Maybe they'll take him to the roof of a building and just push him off. Se acabo.

Nah Chuy wouldn't like that, He likes to hear the screaming and pleas of strong guys brought down to their knees.

He's not going to give him the satisfaction.

He's led out of the car. From the sound of his feet against the gravel and stones, they're in the middle of nowhere. He hears more cars parking, more feet following behind them. A cow moos in the distance. A warning moo?

Truth is, he wants to do this. If it's interrupted, it will postpone the inevitable. He's willing. He's ready.

_Lets get it on._

He wonders if he'll be hung by his hands to a branch of a tree, strung up like a whipping boy.

Oh man, he hated the unknown. Estoy perdido.

"Stay here." He's instructed.

As if he had anywhere to go.

Someone is walking toward him. He can hear the gravel crunch with each step. "You are a disgrace to this brotherhood, Antonio. We protected you and your mother, and you've decided to turn your back on us. Is that right?"

He wished his life was like an episode of Doctor Who. The Doctor always seemed to be near his end, or one of his companions would face death, but then The Doctor would pull some genius plan that saved him and his companions while defeating the enemy in the process. Then they'd go into the TARDIS and continue on their merry way. Unfortunately, real life can't be wrapped up with a nice little bow.

"Julio was the one who betrayed the Blood." Antonio responds. "El traidor."

The response to calling Julio a traitor is a hard fist to his jaw. Shit, he wasn't ready for that because he can't see a fucking thing with this blindfold on. He tries not to wince.

"You understand the consequences of leaving the Blood?"

He works his jaw back and forth. "Yes."

He hears crunching stones as a circle of people close in on him. He's the bull-eye this time. Fitting.

An eerie silence settles over the crowd. Nobody laughs, nobody makes a sound. Some of the guys surrounding him have been his friends all his life. Like Ernie, they're waging a war inside themselves. He doesn't blame them. The lucky ones haven't been chosen to fight today. Without warning, he gets punched in the face. He attempts to keep himself upright, but falters. Mainly because he knows that more hits will be coming. It's one thing to be in a fight you could possibly win, but its another to know you've got zero chance.

Something sharp slashes his back.

Then he gets punched in the rubs, feeling one or two of them crack on impact.

Each blow is connecting with his upper body. No inch is left untouched. A cut here, a fist there. He staggers a few times, only to be pulled upright and slammed into another angry fist. He's got a gash in his back and it stings as if flames are licking at his skin. He can tell Ernie's punches because they don't pack as much fury as the other ones.

Memories of Lovino keep him from crying out in pain. He's going to be strong for Lovino...for them. He's not going to let them control whether he lives or die. He's in charge of his own destiny, not the Blood.

He has no clue how much time has passed. A half hour? An hour? His body is weakening. He's having trouble standing. A suffocating scent floods his nose, the strong scent of smoke. Are they going to push him into fire? The bandanna is still secured over his eyes, but it doesn't matter because he's pretty sure his eyes are swollen shut.

He felt like caving and falling to the ground but forced himself to stand tall.

He's probably unrecognizable now, hot blood streaming from gashes in his face and body. He can feel his shirt being ripped opem and its falling off in pieces, exposing the scar where Julio shot him. A fist punches right there. It's too much pain.

He slumps to the ground, his face scraping the gravel.

At this point he isn't sure if he can make it. _Lovino. Lovino. Lovino. _As long as he kept repeating the mantra in his head, he knows hes still alive. _Lovino. Lovino. Lovino._

Is the smell of smoke real? Or is it the smell of death?

Through the thick haze in his mind he can barely hear someone say.

"Don't you think he's had enough?"

He hears a distant but distinct. "No."

Protests follow. If he could move, he would. _Lovino. Lovino. Lovino. _More protests. Nobody protests during these challenges. Its not allowed. What's happening? Whats next? It must be worse than the beating because he can hear people arguing.

"Hold him facedown." Chuy's voice rings out. "Nobody betrays the Latino Blood on my watch. Let this be a lesson to anyone else who tries to betray us. Antonio Carried's body will always be marked. A reminder of his betrayal."

The burning smell gets closer. He has no clue what's about to happen until his upper back is touched with what feels like hot coals.

He thinks he groaned. Or growled. Or screamed. Or a mixture of all of the above. He doesn't know anymore. He can't think. All he can do is _feel_. They might as well have thrown him into the fire, this is a torture worse than anything he could have imagined. The smell of burning skin sears his nostrils as he realizes the coals aren't coals at all. The bastard is branding him. El dolor, el dolor.

_Lovino. Lovino. Lovino._

–

**Tired. To lazy to edit. Omg well there ya'll go. Hope it was worth the wait ;A; I promise to update faster since the next chapter may or may not be the last.**


	23. Bridging The Gap

**PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. IT TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED TO UPDATE THIS DX. Sorry its just dasn fbehqfbednfbehjbfwn blame tumblr, school, Doctor Who, Sherlock and David Tennant dasjfnajsfbasjbfa v.v I really tried but blegh here you go!**

Its April first. It has been five months since Lovino had last seen Antonio, after the shooting. The gossip that had spread around like wildfire about Gilbert and Antonio had finally died down and the extra psychologists and social workers have left the school.

Lovino had been going to see one of the social workers during the course of their visit. Last week, he told them that he finally slept more than five hours, but that was a lie of course. Since that fateful day, he has had trouble sleeping, always waking in the middle of the night because his mind refused to stop analyzing over and over the awful conversation he had with Antonio in the hospital. The social worker told him with sympathy, that it would take awhile for Lovino to get over the strong feeling of betrayal.

The problem is, he doesn't feel betrayed. More like sad, angry, and deflated, similar to what may have been hopelessness. He wasn't really sure anymore. Even now, despite it all, he still finds himself looking back at the pictures of him and Antonio on his cell phone. Any trace of Antonio had gone up the air and were anyone's best guess as to where he was now. After being released from the hospital, he dropped out of school and no one has heard anymore of him. Even his fellow gang member buddies seem to be out of the loop.

Antonio may have been out of Lovino's life physically, be he'll always be apart of him. Lovino couldn't bring himself to let him go, even if he wanted to.

One slightly positive thing that came out of all this is that his grandfather now fully accepted and seemed to embrace his and Feliciano's sexuality. He even offers to drive his younger brother and Ludwig to destinations for their dates, but it was also probably to keep an eye on Ludwig, ensuring no harm of any kind came to his little Feli. But of course he would be very careful with Feliciano. Even with the effort their grandfather has been putting, things were still very much strained with between him and Lovino.

He was happy for his little brother and all, but he himself was alone now. Antonio took a piece of Lovino's heart with him when he left. Now he is guarding what he has left with a vengeance. He has come to the conclusion that the only life he is going to control is his own. Antonio chose his path, and it didn't include him.

As he goes on with the rest of the school year, he ignores Antonio's friends, and they ignore him. They all pretend that the beginning of the school year didn't happen, and Lovino didn't have any sort of connection to them whatsoever. Except Elizaveta. They talk sometimes, but its painful. They have a silent understanding between them, and its helped make Lovino feel like he has someone going through the same sort of pain he was dealing with.

Opening his locker before Chemistry class, Lovino noticed a pair of hand warmers hanging on one of the hooks inside. Suddenly, the night he desperately tried to forget all this time came crashing back and hitting him full force.

_Has Antonio been here? Did he put these here himself?_

As much as Lovino wanted to forget him, he just couldn't. He had heard that goldfish have a memory of 5 seconds. Augh, how he envied those little bastards. His memory of Antonio, his love for him, will last forever.

He clutches the soft hand warmers to his chest and leans himself against his locker, fighting the strong stinging sensation in his eyes. His breathing became uneven and he had a lump in his throat, his mind becoming a haze as images of Antonio occupied his thoughts. The dull ache he had felt in his heart the past few months intensifies, physically hurting him. He slides down to the floor, unable to stand, drawing his legs to his chest as he continued to cling to the hand warmers. He couldn't fight it anymore, tears spill over and slide down his cheeks in terribly great amounts. He shut his eyes tightly, in a vain attempt to stop his body and mind from breaking down.

Feliciano appears from one end of the hall, with Ludwig following behind. He stops his mindless rambling seeing Lovino, and runs to his direction, stopping at Lovino's feet and kneeling in front of him. "Lovino, what's wrong?" Ludwig stood next to Lovino, sharing his concern for Lovino as well.

Lovino didn't answer, just shook his head rapidly. He couldn't speak, couldn't move, he felt like his world was falling apart all over again.

"Come on." Feliciano says, pulling Lovino's arms to help him up, Ludwig helping him.

"Let's get you somewhere else, Lovino. Everyone is watching." he whispered to the non-responsive Lovino.

Francis walks by them, a smug grin spread across his face. "Seriously, isn't it time you got over your gang banger boyfriend who dumped you? You're starting to look absolutely pathetic." He makes sure the crowd gathering around them hears him.

Femke appears beside Francis and scowls at Lovino. "Antonio got what he deserved." She hisses.

Lovino felt himself snap, his hands were already in fists when he swings at Francis. He dodges the punch and grabs Lovino's wrist and twists it behind his back, eliciting a pained groan from him.

Ludwig steps forward, his intimidating approach already scaring off some passersby. "Let him go, Francis."

"Stay out of this will you, Ludwig." Femke glared at the taller man, seemingly unafraid. She smirked as Lovino struggled to get free from Francis' grasp.

"Humiliating him because he dumped you for a _guy _is plain stupid." Feliciano crossed his arms, glaring daggers at them both.

Francis pushes Lovino aside and rolls up his sleeves, approaching Feliciano. Femke watches, amusement in her eyes.

Ludwig automatically steps in front of Feliciano. "If you want to fight him, you'll have to get past me first." his voice boomed.

Lovino couldn't let them fight his battle. "And to get to them you'll have to get through me."

Much to his surprise, Elizaveta steps in front of him, hands at her hips in an authoritative stance. "But to get to him, you'll have to get past me."

A Mexican guy named Sam pushes Matthew Williams next to Elizaveta.

"This guy can break your arm with one snap, asshole. Get the fuck out of my sight before I sic him on you." Sam says.

Matthew, who is wearing a red hoodie with a maple leaf on the front, growls to look tough, imitating his brother Alfred. It doesn't work too well.

Francis and Femke look left and right for support but to no avail.

Lovino blinks in disbelief. Maybe the universe was in disarray before, but now it's back in alignment.

"Come on, Francis." Femke orders. "We don't need these fags anyway." As they walk off, Ludwig has to hold onto Elizaveta's arm to keep her from going after Femke.

"I'm so proud of you, Ludwig." Feliciano throws his arms around Ludwig's neck and kisses him. Making the taller man blush as they broke the no PDA rule in front of a bunch of people.

"I love you~" Feliciano chirps when they come up for air.

"I love you to." Ludwig smiles, pink still dusted across his cheeks.

"Get a room." Eliza calls out to them, grinning.

The bell rings and the crowd disperses. Lovino is still clutching onto the hand warmers.

Elizaveta stands next to Lovino. "I never told Gilbert how I felt, you know. I never took the risk, and now its too late." she said sadly, looking down.

Lovino shook his head. "I'm sorry, Eliza. I took the risk and lost Antonio anyway, so maybe you're better off."

She shrugs and he knows shes trying to keep it together so she doesn't break down in school, much like how he did. "I suppose I'll get over it one day. It's not likely, but I can hope, can't I?" she straightens hers shoulders and puts on a brave front. He watches as she walks to class, wondering if she talks about it with her other friends or if he is the only one she confides in.

"Come on." Feliciano unlocks himself from Ludwig's embrace and pulls Lovino toward the school exit. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and sits on the curb next to Ludwig's car, not caring that he's skipping class. "I'm fine, Feli. Really."

"No you're not fine, Lovino. I'm your brother and I'll always be here for you. Now tell me what's the matter."

"I loved him."

"Other than that. I already knew that."

"He...he used me...He slept with me to win a fucking bet. And I _still _love that asshole. Feliciano, I _am _pathetic." he angrily rubbed at his eyes.

Feliciano's eyes widened. "Lovi you didn't...oh dear..oh no Lovi." He hugged his brother tightly. "I didn't even know you guys..oh God Lovi that's terrible."

Lovino lean his head into his hands in frustration.

"Right, sorry not helping, am I?" he pulled away, frowning. "Sorry." he fidgeted as Lovino seemed to get more upset.

Ludwig sighs and kneels in front of Lovino and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Forget about that now. I saw the way Antonio always looked at you, Lovino. I don't think i've ever seen him look at someone like that before. There was no way he was acting. I don't know who told you about a supposed bet-"

Lovino looks up sadly. "He did. And his friends confirmed it." A tear escaped his eye and he swallowed hard. "Why can't I just let him go?"

Feliciano shakes his head, as if erasing the words he said. "First things first." he grabs Lovino's chin and forces him to look at him. "Antonio had feelings for you, whether he admitted it to you or not, bet or no bet. You know that, Lovi, or you wouldn't be holding onto those hand warmers as if your life depended on them. Second of all, Antonio is out of your life and you owe it to yourself, to his silly friend Gilbert, and to me to keep going on even if it's not easy."

"I can't help but think he pushed me away on purpose. If I could only talk to him, I can get answers."

"Maybe he doesn't have the answers." Ludwig pointed it out. "That's why he left. If he wants to give up on life, to ignore what's right in front of him, so be it. But you show him that you're stronger than that."

Ludwig was right. Wait, did he actually just say that about this potato bastard? Augh it doesn't matter anymore, he can't hate the man anymore. Anyways, he is right. Antonio took a piece of his heart that night they made love, and he'll hold it forever. But that doesn't mean Lovino's life has to be on hold indefinitely. I can't run after ghosts.

He's stronger now. Atleast, he hopes he is.

–

Two weeks later, he was the last one in the hallway near the gymnasium. The click of high heels makes him look up. It's Rosa. He doesn't freak out. Instead, he stands tall and looks right at her.

"He was back in Fairfield, you know." She tells him.

"I know." he remembers the hand warmers in his locker. He also knew that Antonio left. Much like a whisper, he was there and then disappeared.

She looks almost nervous, vulnerable actually. "You know those giant stuffed animal prizes at the carnival? The kind practically nobody wins, except the lucky few?"

Lovino nodded, confused by the sudden change of subject.

"Well I never won one." she admits "Antonio was my giant prize. I hated you for taking him away."

He shrugs. "Yeah, well, stop hating me. I don't have him, either."

"I don't hate you anymore." She smiles. "I've moved on."

He swallows and then nods. "Me, too."

Rosa chuckles and walks away. As she leaves, he hears her mumble. "Antonio sure as hell hasn't."

What did she mean?


	24. Cuando Me Enamoro

** We did it guys. We climbed the whole mountain. We bopped to the top. Slipped and slide and rode that rhythm. We zipped zapped zopped and flopped like a mop and scooted around the corner. We kept moving up and we just wouldn't stop till we reached the top. (alright I'll stop there XD) so yea, this is the final chapter guys :D decided to have it up now before I end up not updating for like 2 months or somtin. Man, its been a journey man. Hope you all enjoyed it thus far ^^.**

–

5 months later...

The smell of August in Indiana is definitely different from the smell in Illinois. He runs his fingers through his hair carelessly in a vain attempt to fix it as he attempts to unpack boxes in his dorm room at the university.

His roommate, Tino, is an exchange student from Finland. He's a very cheery guy who normally wore berets with his outfits. Lovino swore he has never seen the man frownm ever. But he was a pretty cool guy, they got along well enough.

"You sure you don't want to come with?" Tino's finnish accent flowing from each word, sounding slightly awkward. He was going to the quad with some other freshmen guys, there was some welcome party going on.

"I've got to finish unpacking and then I gotta head out. I promised my brother I would pay a visit this weekend."

"Alrighty then." He says, pulling out and trying on various outfits until he chose one "perfect look" for tonight. Once he made slight adjustments to the outfit, he then went to fix his hair, trying different styles to see which went with the outfit better. It made Lovino think of his old self, the one that tried so hard to meet everyone's expectations.

When Tino leaves a half-hour later, Lovino sits on his bed and pulls out his cell phone. Flipping it open, he stares at the picture of Antonio and him at the club. Their smiling faces, Antonio's arm around Lovino's shoulder, holding him close. God how he missed the feeling of being that close to Antonio. He hates himself for having the urge to look at it. So many times he's tried to force himself to delete the pictures, erase the past. Be he just couldn't. He was too weak.

He reaches into his desk drawer and pulls out Antonio's bandana, fresh and clean and folded up neatly into a square, He touches the smooth material, remembering when Antonio gave it to him. To him, it doesn't represent the Latino Blood. It represents Antonio.

His cell rings, bringing him back to the present. Its Feliciano, of course. He rolls his eyes but he answers.

"Ooh Lovino?"

"Hey Feliciano."

"Hello! Oh where are you? Didn't you say you were going to visit me? We just got out of school. How is university? Is the food good? I heard it wasn't the best food but if fratello likes it then I guess thats okay. You will never believe what happened today!" Feliciano started speaking rapidly, not giving Lovino a chance to keep track of what he was saying.

"Feliciano." He interrupted.

"Oh, yes Lovino?" Feliciano stopped his spitfire of questions.

"I'm heading out now. I should be there in two hours, 3 maximum. Ok?"

"Oki doki, Lovi. I'll be at Ludwig's house, so go there." he said happily and hung up.

Lovino sighed and pocketed his phone, he placed the bandana back in his desk drawer. He then left out of the dormitory and to his car.

–

It takes him 2 and a half hours to get there, he pulls up into Ludwig's drive way. He gets out and knocks on the door, but no one answers. Shrugging, Lovino tested the doorknob and saw that it was open. He went inside and saw Ludwig on the couch working on homework. He looked up and pointed to the back of the house.

"He's playing in the back. They're having a water fight of a sort." he shook his head, not even trying to understand the point of it. Lovino just nodded his head and looked to the back. Who could even think to play like that anymore? It was so childish.

He stepped out and saw Feliciano running around shirtless with the hose in his hands. He looked around cautiously, as though expecting an onslaught of water any moment. Lovino cleared his throat and Feliciano looked his way and smiled happily, waving.

"Lovino, its so great to see you-" he got cut off as water was dumped on him by a person holding a bucket over his head.

As Lovino stepped closer to lecture his brother, he catches a glimpse of who poured the water on him. The messy curls should have been a clue that his life was about to be turned upside down, once again. But it doesn't fully register. He freezes.

It couldn't be. His imagination must be going berserk.

But when the figure turns around and drops the bucket, those familiar green eyes pierce his own, reality hitting him like as if he was splashed with water instead of his brother.

Antonio is here. Ten steps away from him. Oh God, every feeling he ever had for this man comes rushing back like a tidal wave. He doesn't know what to do or what to say. He turns around and sees Ludwig standing there, a hopeful smile on his usually straight face.

"Look who's here, Feli." He hears Antonio say as he helped Feliciano on his feet after his little spazz attack from being soaked to the extreme.

Like a robot, Lovino walks toward his brother and and ruffles his hair, not wanting to get his clothes wet from Feliciano's soaked body. Antonio is standing in front of him, wearing a white shirt that barely got wet in their game, an indication that Feliciano had been losing by a huge amount, and khakis. On the porch was a button down, plaid shirt which was thrown carelessly onto a chair. Lovino could only stare at him, his stomach doing weird flip-flops, making him feel queasy. The rest of the world seemed to blur into the background, and all Lovino could see is _him_.

After a moment, he could finally find his voice. "A-Antonio..? W-what are you doing here?" he asked, tongue tied.

Antonio shrugs. "I told Feliciano we would hang out and play sometime. So that's what I did."

They stand there, staring at each other, some invisible force, probably God himself, keeping him from looking away. "You came back here to play with my brother?"

"Weeell.." he dragged out the word, rubbing the back of his neck, much like how the tenth Doctor would. "That's not the only reason. I'm actually on my way to college in Indiana. Mr. Honda and Mr. Kirkland helped me get a GED after I quit the Blood. I sold my bike. I'm workin' at the student union and takin' out loans."

Antonio? In college? His shirt sleeves, neatly buttoned at his wrists, hide most of his Latino Blood tattoos. "You quit? I thought you said it was too dangerous to quit, Antonio. You said people who try to get out die."

"I almost did. If it weren't for Matthew Williams and his mom, I probably wouldn't have made it."

"Matthew Williams?" The nicest, quietest, almost out of place guy in school? For the first time he scans Antonio's face and sees a faint, new scar above his eye and nasty ones by his ear and neck. "Oh God! W-what the hell did they do to you?"

Antonio takes Lovino's hand and presses it to his chest. His eyes are intense and bright but dark at the same time, like they were the first time Lovino noticed him in the parking lot that first day of school senior year. "It took me a long time to realize I needed to fix everythin'. The choices I made. The gang. Bein' beaten to within an inch of my life and branded like cattle was nothing compared to losing you. If I could take back every word I said back at the hospital, I would. I thought if I pushed you away, I'd be protecting you from what happened to Gilbert and my dad." He looks up and his eyes pierce Lovino's. "I'll never push you away again, Lovino. Ever. I swear."

Beaten? Branded? He is feeling sick to his stomach and his eyes sting as the words circulate in his mind.

"Shh." Antonio puts his arms around Lovino, rubbing his hands across his back. "It's alright. I'm okay." He chants over and over again, his voice catching.

He feels good. This feels good.

He rests his forehead against Lovino's. "You need to know something. I agreed to the bet because deep down I knew that if I got emotionally involved, it'd kill me. And it nearly did. You were the one person who made me risk everythin' for a future worth havin'." He straightens and takes one step back to look him in the eye. "I'm so sorry. Tell me what you want and i'll give it to you. If it'll make you happy for me to disappear from your life forever, say the word. But if you still want me, I'll try my best to be this..." he gestures to his clothes.

"How can I prove to you I changed?"

Lovino opens his mouth but closes it then opens again, trying to find the right words. "I've changed, too," he tells him. "I'm not the boy I was before. And I'm sorry but those clothes...they aren't you."

"It's what you want though, yea?"

"You're wrong, Antonio. I want _you_. Not a fake image. I definitely prefer you in jeans and a T-shirt, because that's who you are."

He looks down at his attire and chuckles. "You're right." He looks back up at Lovino. "You once said you loved me. Do you still?"

Lovino's brother is watching their exchange, so is Ludwig. They both smile encouragingly, giving him the strength to tell the truth. "I've never stopped loving you. Even when I tried desperately to forget you, I couldn't."

Antonio lets out a long, slow breath and rubs his forehead in relief. His eyes look glassy, filled with emotion. Lovino felt his own eyes welling up again and he gathers a handful of Antonio's shirt in his fist. "I don't want us to fight all the time, Antonio. Dating should be fun. Love should be good." He's pulling him toward himself. He wants his lips on his own. "W-will it ever be good for us?"

Their lips almost touch before Antonio pulls away from him, but then he-

Holy. Shit.

Antonio kneels on one knee before Lovino, holds his hands in his, and Lovino's heart skips more than a few beats. "Lovino Vargas, I'm going to prove to you I'm the guy you believed in ten months ago, and i'm gonna be the successful man you dreamed I could be. My plan is to ask you to marry me four years from now, the day we graduate." He cocks his head to the side and takes on a more playful tone, the cheeriness he seldom held coming up. "Surely it'll be legal by then, yea? And I guarantee you a lifetime of fun, probably one with no lack of fighting, for you are one passionate papacito...but I definetly look forward to some great make-up sessions. Maybe one day we could even come back here, in Fairfield, to help make it the place my dad always hoped it would be. You, me, and Feliciano." after looking by the porch he grinned. " and of course Ludwig. And any other Vargas or Carriedo family member who wants to be a part of our lives. We'll be one big, crazy Spanish-Italian family. What do you think? Mi tomate, you own my soul." he chuckled at Lovino's reaction to the odd nickname.

Lovino couldn't help but smile as he swipes a lone tear trailing down his cheek. How can he not be crazy in love with this guy? Time away from him didn't change anything. He can't deny him another chance. That would be denying himself.

Time to take the risk, to trust once again.

"What's your major?" Lovino asks.

Antonio flashes his devilishly handsome smile. "Chemistry. And yours?"

"Chemistry." Lovino wraps his arms around Antonio's neck. "Kiss me so we can see if we still have it. 'Cause you own my heart, my soul and everything in between."

Antonio's lips finally sears Lovino's, more powerful than ever before.

If the solar system wasn't in alignment before, it is now.

–

ergh idk if I ended that well but THERE YOU GO. Hope you guys liked it. This is where we depart now. We must go our separate ways. But We'll Meet Again, don't know when, don't know where, but I know we'll meet again, some sunny day. (OK IM DONE NOW) but srsly. I hope you all enjoyed it. (you guys should follow me on tumblr :D i'm thisismahtardis) ok Auf Wiedersehen', Sweetheart! (OK NOOOOW IM DONE. AUGH TIRED)


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